My Story & Situation

by jbeau504 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  snare&racket

  Of course you are afraid matey,

  The god you are talking about was responsible for genocide, incest, rape, slavery, infanticide, sexism, kidnap, human sacrifice, homophobia, segregation, racism and more... Of course you are afraid! But ask yourself, do you want to worship this being! Do you even want to befriend this being? If he was a human how would we view him? Once you get past that you will be free to examine the evidence, it really doesn't take long before you realise it is all myth and legend mixed in with social control and manipulation. If you want to be free... Educate yourself, question everything you are told. Get the history books out, the science books, the theological books... Alternatively people have already done it for you online, but I think it's better to do it yourself. The only motive you can trust is your own.

  Go to museums, read about evolution... The refreshing end to the fear and guilt is worth the effort, not to mention finally discovering the real 'truth'.

  On a side note to the JWs did you know that one of the governing body left due to the 'crisis of conscience' he had? Quite shocking hey ! His name was Ray Franz and he wrote a book about why he left. Check it out sometime. Also I encourage every JW to read Barbara Andersons story, available everywhere online. She was a writer for the Wt publications. Her and her husbands life story appeared in the mags a few times. She left over the protection and covering up of paedophiles in prominent positions.

  Finally I suggest you take a look at A website that isn't mentioned often. It only refers to quotes from JW literature and shows all the huge changes in doctrine that has taken place with no explanation. Some quite disgusting, for example... Regarding rape

  Watchtower 1964 January 15 pp.63-4 Questions from Readers

  Questions from Readers

  • According to the Bible at Deuteronomy 22:23-27, an Israelite engaged girl threatened with rape was required to scream. What is the position of a Christian woman today if faced with a similar situation? Is she to scream even if an attacker threatens her life with a weapon? -M. U., United States.

  " Such Scriptural precedents are applicable to Christians, who are under command, "Flee from fornication." (1 Cor. 6:18) Thus if a Christian woman does not cry out and does not put forth every effort to flee, she would be viewed as consenting to the violation. The Christian woman who wants to keep clean and obey God's commandments, then, if faced with this situation today, needs to be courageous and to act on the suggestion made by the Scriptures and scream. Actually this counsel is for her welfare; for, if she should submit to the man's passionate wishes, she would not only be consenting to fornication or adultery,"

  Women were disfellowshipped for being raped if they did not cry out, that was if the man admitted the crime. For with only one witness nothing could be done!

  The website is excellent and is found here : http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/blood.html

  All the best matey, be honest to yourself.

  Snare x
• 

  jbeau504

  Wow. I was not really expecting this to be an active message board or for that matter for so many people to even give any answers or responses at all. So thanks to everyone.

  @jwfacts I don't think I was clear enough before. I didn't even really take the time I should have to really delve into different htings. I think I kind of acted like a google-nut, just skimming through different things spastically like a fool, seeing different kinds of 'ism's' and religious movements all in one big blur. I think if I took more time, to slow down and really look into things carefully I would be different but...that's a what if. I think thinking of would have's, or could-have's would just give me a big headache.

  @stillthinking I don't want to hurt my mentoror my family. At the same time, alot of what my identity is, and what I was 'defined' by, was what I was molded to be by the JWs even after I drifted away in highschool. My values, I mean, how I treat other people, and just my 'moral compas' so to speak is influenced by my JW background. So I guess, i just think i'd feel guilty backing out now. What would I do? It's hard to see myself as an agnostic.
• 

  still thinking

  Why would you feel guilty jbeau504? Just because you think you owe it to them? Guilt has a way of killing the soul, it eats away until you don't know who you are any more. Please, research and find out what drives this cult/publishing company...then the guilt will slowly fade. You don't have to disown your family/mentors. I take it you aren't baptised, so they don't have to shun you. You are in a good place.

  You do not have to let go of your morals, and it sounds like you have picked up some new ones, or at least new ideas from other beliefs. Its about growing as a person. Not being loyal to an organisation. In the end, being loyal to yourself will pay dividends to you and the ones you love.

  Why do you have to see yourself as agnostic? Why do you have to label yourself at all....can you not just be you, searching for something that makes sense. Labels are for the religious...if you arent part of a religion you don't really need a label to explain your non belief of unsure belief. I don't know what the hell I believe any more, and believe it or not I am happier in my own skin now then I ever was. I don't know what to label my stance, and I really don't care because putting a name to it would only be for someone elses benefit...not mine.
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  jbeau504

  I'll do some research, stillthinking. I've been given so much to look over I'll see if I can find time to read up on it all. Ofcourse i'll be doing this stuff in secret but whatever I guess >.>...

  Anyway, thanks for the advice stillthinking. I don't know if i'll be able to resolve all my issues right away but I appreciate your honest opinion. Funny thing is, I can see how you're happy. I've been told by the watchtower that your kind of path wouldn't logically make sense yet, once again, I don't believe that. I think it's great your happy. I don't know what you've been through but I hope you continue to have that peace of mind.
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  still thinking

  Thanks for the good wishes jbeau504.

  Just a thought...if you need to do research in secret...doesn't that tell you something? Why would any honest organisation mind you researching anything about them if they were confident they would come out smelling of roses? You only hide things when you have things to hide.

  Trust me, it took a while for me to figure out I could be happy without religion or a set of beliefs. But for some strange reason I am much more at peace within myself now. I won't lie to you, It was actually quite painful letting it all go, but I had learnt too much and I had to be honest with myself. But once I accepted the idea it became quite comforting. I feel more part of the world and the people in it. I still pray sometimes, not sure who to, but if I decide I don't want to do that any more, I won't. But if I do it for the rest of my life I'm ok with that to. Who knows, maybe I will find god, lifes a journey isn't it?

  Good luck with your search
• 

  Quarterback

  Welcome jbeau.

  I don't want to tell you what to do, and I do not want to judge you or your decision which you have the freedom to make.

  Some join the faith of JW's for different reasons, that seems justifiable in their own minds. That's not a bad thing.

  Just remember, In or Out, you are free. Don't allow yourself to be controlled. Understand your limitations, because some will try to raise your limitations and in an effort to please them it will only discourage you when you realize that you can't fullfill their expectations. This fear of God that you describe....That's not what or how I would describe my relationship with God. I see a different God that is forgiving, and understanding. This is what I get when I read the Bible. The publications of the the Soc seems paint a different picture of Jehovah. But it keeps changing in their explanations as well. I didn't want my post to be this long, but, I wish you well.

  QB
• 

  jwfacts

  I don't want to hurt my mentor or my family. ... So I guess, i just think i'd feel guilty backing out now.

  You should not live a life trying to please others. It cannot work out for the best and will end up hurting them and you in the long run. Being guilted into something is a terrible and weak way to live a life, a lie of a life. It is what the Watchtower thrives off, and how you have been raised (and I know because I was the same), but something you should try to overcome.

  Think about the Fable about the Man, boy and donkey at http://www.aesops-fables.org.uk/aesop-fable-the-man-the-boy-and-the-donkey.htm

  What would I do? It's hard to see myself as an agnostic.

  Being an agnostic is better than pretending to believe something that you know is wrong, simply because you want the comfort of saying you believe in something.
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  Quandry

  Welcome.

  Please be patient. You are young and have plenty of time. Do not make hasty decisions, especially one that could cause irreparable harm to your family ties if you change your mind later. You know that if a person becomes baptised and then later decides that he does not want to be a JW any more, friends and family may practice shunning.In my over thirty years "in" I saw this happen many times over, with devastating consequences.

  Why not concentrate on your education, and some things that you state you have an interest in, like music and writing? Develop your skills and talents along these lines...you don't know yet where this could lead you.

  It sounds as if you are unsure as to who you are deep inside... your personality is still forming at this time in your life. Allow yourself time to look into many avenues of knowledge. As to the Witnesses-you know that after baptism a person is not free to investigate, so do it now. Reseach and ask questions. Look up the history of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. And remember:

  "Better to have questions that I can't answer than answers I can't question."
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  ziddina

  Along with what Quandry said...

  You may want to use the "search" function on this site and look up the terms or phrase, "Successful Fade"....

  That is often an effective means of "leaving", while maintaining contact with family - and any friends who will not "mark" you, due to your increasing inactivity....

  As others have advised - read, read, READ - and then decide...

  Zid