Im the nervy, anxious type. I suffer with panic attacks and sometimes my agoraphobia cripples me. The organisation effectively isolated me fo a long time. I lost many many good, longtime friends. One in particular, who'd been my friend for over 15 years. Well, you can imagine what happened when they found out she was a practicing white white, and Pagan. To my shame, they got in my head, I changed address, and never told her.....that was 6 years ago.
Its been over a year now since I was in a KH. Ive gained a lot of confidence through the support of some of you here........I decided at last it was time to track her down. I found her on FB, and debated whether or not to contact her.....would she forgive me? Would she understand why? Would she even entertain responding to me? I had to down a bottle of wine before I sent a friends request.....prepared for what I imagined to be an onslaught of abuse and I would be deserving of that. You see, I abandonded her just 3 weeks after her mother died of cancer.
I prepared myself, swallowed hard, and posted......
And do you know what she said?
"Paula!!!! Where have you been woman?? Im missed you soooo!" "So happy you are back in my life!!!"
Confused, did she not remember what happened? How I had abandoned her and our friendship? What was going on?
I explained Id been part of a cult, and told her my story of the past 6 years, a long drawn out story......how it was not an accident that we had lost touch. Surely now she would have something to say about that!
NO! She was only glad that I was back in touch!
I WANTED her to punish me you see. I NEEDED her to be angry with me. But she isnt, and has been so loving and warm towards me the past few days it just makes me want to cry. Im so happy, yet so ashamed at my behaviour.
Luckily, my story has a happy ending. Maybe it will for you too if you are in this position. Dont give up on re-connecting with lost friends. Whether they are white witches, Pagans, green martians, .........you cant get the time back you have lost, but you have the rest of your life to look forward.
Ive got a lot of making up to do thats for sure......I wanted to say thank you to all those who have been so encouraging to me regarding this.....because of you Ive got my lovely witch back.......who knows what trouble we can get into again!
The JW couldnt keep us apart.......JWN kinda got us back together.....THANK YOU
Best wishes, Paula x
