by usualusername 34 Replies latest jw friends
About 7 years ago when my wife told me that we should get a divorce. It was over me wanting to disassociate, no pressure on her to change her faith. She couldn't see herself married to someone that wasn't a Witness.
Long story short, we didn't divorce and she's no longer a witness either, whole thing played out on the forums here about 4 or 5 years ago.
This monday because of depression
Hi,
I know it's stupid, but at watching Avatar, the original people nearly destroyed by a technologically advanced society, I know it's based on America and the native americans, but we in the UK have had plenty of empire building that destroyed some amazing countries that did not need our civilizing!!!
Regards,
Star Tiger
I can't recall. Some very bad things happen and I stay very calm. I lived in downtown Manhattan when 9/11 happened. My demeanor was ultra calm. I felt I was letting everyone else down, particularly when so many others desperately needed help more than I did. My surface affect was flat. Months later, I cried and cried. I can see videos of the planes hitting and not cry. Numbness sets in. People may mention some little event of that day or the mood and I start to cry hard. I cry with other New Yorkers still in despair. When I attended memorial services at a major NY cathedral, I cried so hard when the fire d epartment was present.
My biggest triggers are Christmas, Easter, and my birthday. I am single. Altho my sister lives nearby (about five minutes) I am terribly alone. Celebrating the holidays was something I looked forward to even with the Witnesses. My Christmas tree and decorations is worth thousands I invested for a family that has yet to materialize. Every year I promise my inner child we will not endure another lonely holiday. I try to volunteer. Some churches have had holiday events for singles and married couples far from children.
If my sister did invite me into her home, it would be sheer hell. As a priest noted, I am far happier than alone. Hopefully, networking will yield results. It would be so much easier in a city.
I struggle with depression ( in my case bipolar depression ) chronic pain and it is an ongoing battle to get up each day. I also have an illness that is severely limiting me. I don't look ill, but am. I have experienced some mild cognitive decline- my memory is not good and I find it difficult to express myself and at times forget words. I have developed agoraphobia and find leaving the house very hard. It is very hard for me to trust and open up to others. I find that my experience with jws has really done a number on me.
Lately I find myself going down memory lane and grieving for the losses I have incurred. There have been some traumatic things happen to me and I have just kept them buried away for so long but memories like debts ( and relatives who need to borrow money) have a way of surfacing eventually. We all go through transformations in our lives from young adults to mature adults to older adults. I seem to be trying to stall going into the next stage of my wonderfulness. I cry about this sometimes.
Band, do you talk with your sister at all? I guess this is a personal question. I too have a sibling but they are one of jws and although I am not df/da, they shun me. Your description of 9-11 brought back so many memories. Even though I am far away from NYC I along with many felt such sorrow and it felt very personal. Thanks for sharing.
