SAD!

by 2SYN 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  lauralisa

  Hi 2SYN,

  Whether or not you engage in therapy, or find someone (or ones) to love (therapy is usually free of charge in that arena!) I predict that you'll cry when you are willing and able.

  It seems to me sometimes that humans have a built-in sensor, a warning signal of sorts, that prevent us from going into a hyper-feeling state that could overwhelm us. On a more sardonic note, we need to keep moving from point A to point B, no tears! (added: 'no tears' is a reference to a phrase from the book Liar's Poker - no emotions allowed in this particular "game").

  Being able to feel is great. But as is illustrated on this board quite dramatically sometimes , strong feelings lead to strong needs to express emotions. For some freaky reason, expressing strong passionate emotional feelings is usually not the most rewarding experience on the planet. I don't know why this is.

  If circumstances find you sharing time with a trusted friend, some basic security in general, and the need to feel, go for it

  Radiohead helps too, of course

  I enjoy reading your posts, and think this one is very needed (speaking for myself here)

  laura
• 

  2SYN

  Thanks for the thoughts, guys...much appreciated, makes me feel better already!

  KissAFish: Which part of the world are u from?

  The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age
• 

  LDH

  Nice thread, SYN.

  It could be pregnancy and post-pregnancy hormone changes, but I find lately that I can cry at the drop of a hat! It's amazing! I deserve an Oscar!

  All of my years growing up WT taught me that crying was no use; nothing was going to change. Would crying mean I would get a birthday present? Or not get made fun of? Hardly. Therefore, crying became a useless emotion until I was an adult.

  Interesting. And I had noticed this before your post.

  Many people use crying to manipulate. I have a (white) girlfriend who is married to a (black) guy, and they've been together for like 8 years. She told me last year that whenever they have argued in the past and she has cried, he accuses her of trying to 'manipulate' him and makes fun of her for being 'weak.' Now, don't get me wrong. This is a GREAT guy, one of our best friends. But he grew up in South Central, where I'm sure NO ONE lets it be known that they cry. I pointed out to her that in fact, he MAY have been in one or several relationships where the woman DID cry to maipulate him.

  I like Kiss and Lauralisa's posts, and I agree with and echo their sentiments.

  Lisa
• 

  expatbrit

  SYN:

  This is great stuff! All that "I can't cry and have all these bottled up tender emotions underneath the tough exterior" stuff gets the chicks eating out of your hand every time.

  The last time I cried was in sheer terror when I was fifteen and watching my own blood squirt onto the road after an accident.

  Expatbrit
• 

  bitter mango

  expat! lies!!! the last time you cried was when i had to turn down your marriage proposal . fret not, i weeped to.
  

  syn, feel better soon!!
• 

  expatbrit

  Mango:

  How about if I up the bride price a bit? Say......$25?

  Expathopeful
• 

  termite 35

  Hi Syn; this shut down of emotions is pretty common with me; It's not altogether a bad thing...it's a type of protection that can not only help you get through anything, but can help you to stay level headed when others need you,so i'd try not to see it as an enemy-it's part of who you are.Therapy ,as suggested may be a good thing for you, at least you could decide to what extent you want to 'let go'.Personally, I like to be this way for now; sometimes it's helpful when certain elders get heated over certain topics and they detect the faintest smirk ......!!!!!If your're feeling you wasnt to ,who knows, perhaps it's your body letting you know it's on the way; i'm sure (for me) shut down is all part of the healing process ;and for us all to some extent,but if it's served it's usefulness your idea to question it sounds like a good idea to me.I'LL SEND SOME KLEENEX! X
• 

  KissAFish

  SYN...Not that far from you actually..Western Australia... Heaps of South Africans here....and lots of hot weather!!!

  "Everything that can be counted doesn't necessarily count; everything that counts can't necessarily be counted." (Einstein)
• 

  aprostate

  I have the opposite problem and I hate it. I cry when I don't want to and I don't know how to stop it. The more I tell myself to stop, the more I cry. I think it is my anger. It is not acceptable for women to show excessive anger. I had so much anger when I was a witness. Being brought up a Witness with a abusive dad....believe me I was angry. I had no other way to express it that was acceptable and now all my emotions come out as tears.
• 

  termite 35

  SMILE! your way's probably much healthier!