So a Witness finally came to my door. It could have went better

by sabastious 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  I caught on when I got to the part about you going outdoors in your underwear.

  Very funny story!

  What does a "registered sect" mean?
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  sabastious

  What jws call at 6 a.m.? You can hardly get them out into their cars at a field service meeting at 9:30 a.m.....so I think you need to say APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

  I admit I did stretch the truth some.

  Things that really happened

  • I WAS called upon by a Witness about the memorial
  • My son DID shut the door on him suddenly and he did think it was me shutting the door on him in mid sentence
  • The Witness DID mark me down as a return visit
  • I really AM a shape shifting robot from the future
  • Witnesses really ARE sexually repressed
  • Most JW's DO have spiels

  Things that DIDN'T happen

  • I DON'T have a neighbor named Norm
  • I WASN'T wet enough to warrant being asked if I needed a towel
  • I did NOT have a dream nor daydream about fluffy laughing bunnies
  • I WASN'T wearing little of anything and a smile
  • I DIDN'T get the man's name

  What does a "registered sect" mean?

  Hello rebel8, the Jehovah's Witnesses are self proclaimed true Christians. Therefore, by their own definition there is only one actual true Church of Christ (themselves) essentially making any other group who call themselves "Christians" merely imposters. Posing the concept of "registered Christianity" to one of them will automatically make most Witnesses cringe at the thought of being somehow tied to the imposters. This is a good way to make them say a dirty word without knowing it.

  However, on the serious side Jehovah's Witnesses (keyword JEHOVAH) believe that everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah will be saved in their self prophesied coming apocolypse. This is an easy to way to definitely define them as something different than classical Christianity altogether. This can be confirmed when you attend their supposed memorial of Christ's death. This is when they read the Bible's words that you must "keep doing this as often as you drink it" in their strictly annual event. So in reality the words of Jesus are applied to someone else (the one choosing the annualness of the event) because everyone has different intervals of which they drink red wine. Some don't drink at all because of personal choice or allergy which could pose a problem.

  They are not Christians they are Jehovahns

  -Sab
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  Band on the Run

  Amen. They are Jehovahists and NOT Yahwehists. Jesus is barely in their picture. Most scholars don't consider them Christian when using norms of Christianity common to almost all churches. They use Christian by self-reporting.
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  Morbidzbaby

  They are not a registered sect... But they're definitely sect offenders!
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  00DAD

  April Fools or not, I'm going to use the V for Vendetta question next time a JW comes by, maybe the bunny rabbit one too!
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  Nice_Dream

  I love how the JW reassured you that you were an RV.
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  TheOldHippie

  "It could have went better"

  Is it not more correct to say "It could have GONE better"?
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  sabastious

  Thanks everyone! It's April 2nd I can come clean now.

  -Sab
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  Found Sheep

  that was entertaining