I joined the truth in my 20s, first I was in a loving and Spiritual congregation. I becaome so Spiritual I wanted to move to were the need was greatest.
Thats when I discovered my original congregation was the exeption to the rule, over the next few years my whole outlook on God and the truth was distorted until I viewed God as some sort of Hitler figure and the Spiritual Paradise more like a Stalin era Police state.
Even the field ministry which I intially loved so much was made unproductive through their silly rules and regualtions, for instance, I was very good at starting Bible studies, mainly with Women, (as they tend to be the ones answering the door and tend to be more receptive to a man calling than a male householder, its just Human nature), anyhow, the rule was, you couldnt study with a member of the opposite sex, even if you took a Sister with you, so I had to give all my studies to Sisters, who 100% of cases, dropped them or couldnt be bothered.
Another example of the doctrines of men invalidating the Love of the Christ was that I used to go around the homes of elderly single sisters as part of my Christian good works, to be honest, I felt quite bored, drinking tea and bisquits, whilst they chatted away, but I knew how lonely life was for these old widows, with only the meetings and a Saturday morning for company. But in my new congregation, this wasnt allowed, it was some sort of sin to visit old folk, because..........you might not be able to stop yourself having sex with them!!!!!!!!!
Can you belive the selfish sex obsessed stupidity of these people?
I was working in an office with beautifull girls in thier 20s who used to offer me sex, not just a date, I turned them down for the truth, but those 80 year old wrinkled widows, I must admit, that was hard
Iam suprised they let us walk around the countryside, all those sheep very tempting for a young brother, ( and especially as somebody in the circuit was actuallly disfellowshipped for such).
Once they convinced me that Jehovah didnt care two hoots about me I moved back down South to a more Neutral congregation, but it didnt have the level of Spirituality I needed to rescue me from falling away.
In the end I left as a form of Suicide, still believing it all and hense feeling I was now living with a one way ticket to Damnation.
It was such a relief to learn after 10 years of this suffering, that the JWs where not the owners of Jehovah, and that his doctrines wernt the doctrines of men.