For me it started with the pressure 'to do more' in field service. It was difficult for me being a single mother and working full time. I also had doubts on the WTS teachings on matters such as no blood, celebrations, no higher education etc. Then I discovered this site and realized I was not the only who felt trapped. I DA'ed from the cult.
What made you leave?
by CuriousUK 40 Replies latest jw friends
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LouBelle
I literally woke up on new years day 6 years ago, 29 years old and thought to myself "there has to be to life than this" That was my lightbulb moment and it took about 6 monnths and I was out/disfellowshiped for apostacy and turning my back on Jehovah. I had been raised a Jw and had to my best of my ability been a good witness, I had my so called weak moments but for the most part was on track - but I wasn't very happy.
In hindsight there were moments of questioning but you kind of just push it to the back of your mind. But eventually it caught up with me. And my journey out began.
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dozy
I live in the UK as well - there are hundreds on this board. My experience is the same as many others - I was brought up as a JW and gradually moved up through the ranks becoming an elder , giving talks at assemblies etc. As an insider , I always knew that things weren't really right and that the airbrushed "everything is wonderful" image portrayed by the Watchtower Society was false. Other than maybe 10% -15& of JWs who are completely zombified , almost brainwashed individuals , most JWs have doubts , open or suppressed , but basically amble along on the "where else do I go" basis , a bit like a comfortable but very unexciting long term marriage.
For me, it was my children being born that was the deciding factor. My view was that it was fine for me & my wife to stay JWs , but morally wrong to bring up children in a religious cult , potentially being prepared for them to lose their lives in denying them blood transfusions and having to deny them the chance to go to college or university etc etc. I did a lot of research over many years , giving the Society every possible benefit of the doubt , but eventually the sheer weight of evidence is inescapable. 607 BCE is a killer , but there are numerous other fatal facts - some I knew ( or always suspected ) , others I found out. One particular moment was discovering that the society had changed the Watchtower from the original edition to the bound volume in 1989 when they initially claimed that the preaching work would end in the 20th century. They did this without telling anyone , hoping no-one would notice.
There is no easy way out , and even though I resigned as an elder & just stopped attending meetings and didn't get disfellowshipped or marked , I am shunned by virtually all my family , even though they number adulterers & fraudsters in their ranks ( being even mildly critical of the Watchtower Society is a far worse offence from a JW standpoint ). You could perhaps ask your bf whether he is prepared for his family to treat him in the same manner.
For your bf , the website jwfacts.com is a useful resource if he is prepared to do any research. But you face a real challenge in that no "worldly person" like you ( no disrespect , but that is how every JW is taught to view you ) really can understand the JW mentality. Having a "worldly girlfriend" puts him in a very difficult situation and the elders will constantly be monitoring him and he will be "marked" as bad association at best.
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MMXIV
As a born-in I didn't believe most of the doctrine which was illogical to the point that I simply couldn't remember it. Whilst some of the people were genuinely nice and decent, some were very hypercritical and nasty. The environment was very negative, repeating the same old things over and over. It constricted my life hugely so I wanted to leave for a long time. Due to it's teachings of fear and control I couldn't leave and the pressure and guilt tripping from family was intense so I slowly faded over a decade.
I saw a BBC documentary about how the JW's had policies to protect child abusers even though they were actively abusing children in the congregations. I'd spent my whole life being told how bad the other churches were yet how clean JW's were. It was a lie. They have since changed their policies although they are only to comply with law - they still basically protect them. I didn't want to bring up a child in that environment and did want to have children one day.
mmxiv
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not bitter
Self righteous, judgemental people with a total lack of love for their own people. They pushed me out with their actions. Plus I wanted some fun.
I'm glad of course because if they'd shown true Christian spirit, I'd still be in a miserable cult.
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not bitter
Curious - where in the UK are you? I'm in South Wales
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BroMac
your boyfriend is a Captive of a Concept , it's not his fault, it has and still has us all to varying degrees: Jesus inspected all other christian religions in 1918 and chose the WTS in 1919 as his "faithful and discreet slave". the book uses ONLY The Watchtower magazines and other books printed by Jehovah's Witnesses from many years ago that shaped their incorrect application of Matt 24:45-47 to themselves. that is one of the best bits of this book. it uses JW literature to show that it was impossible for Jesus to chose them based on what they were teaching back then. this history has come later to me, i'm no longer a captive but i am still trapped (for now). what released my mind from believing Jehovah's Witnesses taught the truth was just one thing to start with,
it was this:Jerusalem was destroyed by the Babylonians in 607bce
while researching for a public talk i Googled "jerusalem destroyed by babylon" what i came across was EVERY non-jw said it happened at a different date, some 20yrs later. Wikipedia, Jewish Encyclopedia you name it, this included historians that specialise in the ancient middle east, the actual digging of the areas had revealed Babylon to be one of the best 'finds' ever unearthed. THOUSANDS of sale reciepts and invoice type records for the local businesses and traders all included the name of the King who were reigning at the time. when documented ALL the kings that were already known from other sources were confirmed in these original clay tablets. none are missing or extra.
Jerusalem was destroyed by the Babylonians in 587bce
it comes down to this: without 607bce the Governing Body of the WTS/JW's can not put Jesus invisible return as king in heaven at 1914. which equals = no inspection could have been done in 1918, which equals = no 1919 appointment of the FDS as being 'Gods sole channel of communication today', which equals = It's All A Big Con Job
if you were to ask a JW when a big event in history happened they would google it or look it up in an encyclopedia and have no qualms or problems in believing it as a fact. They do not do this with Jerusalems destruction by the Babylonians. To JW's it could be the only thing in the enyclopedia that is wrong, everything else is accepted as facts. It truly is quite a phenomenon.
all because of being Captives of a Concept
Edit: it is 587bce
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oompa
i doubted since i was 19...was a fourth gen born in and wow did i have a wake up moment....did a ton of research on why the name jehovah has been added to their own bible 237 times in the new testament when to other bibles in production do that....especiacally since there are ZERO manuscripts with the name in there!!!! there is no justification for it in the first place but they claim to restore the name where the new testament is quoting from the old testament...which is wrong to do...but it is a lie!!!! there are dozens of places where it is NOT a quote...including EVER one of 12 inserts into the book of Revelation and yep that is the book that says we should not add nor delete a singe word!!! lyin hypocritical bastards!!!....they have their own bible all right....and it is full of spurious verses.....ya just dont have the right to change the bible and make it say what you want it to...
jws have dragged the god of the old testament screaming and kicking right into the new testament....7000 times was not enough for them in the old testament....so they added 237 more jehovahs to the new testament..................................oompa
my wise elder dad who no longer speaks to me did not even know this....nor did the other 13 elders i asked....
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Fernando
Both a journey and a lightning bolt in our family's case.
The journey started after I had declared myself religious and was asked to explain what the gospel is in one word! This red flagged my ignorance as a lifelong JW like never before! I started studying and following the gospel in the wt library in detail and was astounded to find that although the gospel is not in the hearts or on the lips of Watchtower followers it is in their publications (albeit deliberately fragmented). Over a period of 3½ years we went from RBNS (Religious But Not Spiritual) to SBNR (Spiritual But Not Religious). We noted that Watchtower "publishers of the good news" were one and all ignorant of the "good news" according to Paul. Yet more than half the Bible's 152-odd references to the "good news" are by Paul!
The lightning bolt was largely the same as for Martin Luther in 1517. Also physical and spiritual. Physically the cosmetic and conditional nature of religion/ists' love noted over time. Spiritually the reality of IMPUTED righteousness as taught by Paul (Rom 3:24 etc) and as firmly denied by the entire apostate body of Pharisees in our congregation with the full backing the entire apostate ruling clergy class and hierarchy right up to the apostate Sanhedrin (Governing Body).
Later, after walking out and rejecting their illegitimate power, authority and control in favour of that of Jesus, many more of their lies, inconsistencies and distortions of "the truth" became apparent in the light of "the truth of the good news" (Gal 2:5,14).
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Flossycat
Hi Curious,
I was a 20 year old Pioneer; grew up in a rural Australian congregation that was v friendly - eccentric in a lovely way . Then moved to Melbourne to another really good congregation, with one of my sisters. I loved it. Met a nonJW at work (one of Melbourne's biggest hospitals) who pretended to want to know about the JWs. He began a bible study with one of the elders. Within 5 months we were married, so we wouldn't commit fornication. As soon as we married - the very next day - he wanted nothing to do with the WT Society. Turned out he was the classic psycopath. Life with him was hell - I attempted suicide 3 times; but ultimately, after he was jailed for rape (not me) he was my ticket to freedom. I tried to go back to the JWs, but couldn't hack all the conditions. I'd had a good taste of life on the outside, had met some wonderful people who accepted me regardless of my lifestyle, (I'd become a prostitute, but that's another story), and knew being a JW wasn't for me. Wasn't till I met an exJW deprogrammer when I was around 40 years old that I realised the WT Society's full of s**t. Yep - I'm a slow learner.
My autobiographical novel was published 2 years ago in the UK (Melrose Books, Ely, Cambridgeshire) 'A Little Lower Than Angels'. Editor of the Victorian Writers Centre said she couldn't put it down, and said it will be very helpful to nonJWs interested in knowing how and why the Watchtower Society and its people think and behave the way they do. A major Melbourne newspaper journalist said 'What a book! You're a fabulous writer with an amazing story to tell.' It's only a few pounds sterling - v cheap if you'd like to get a copy. It will answer many questions for you.