Witnesses came around with invites we had not been to meetings.....since last memorial. Wife wanted me to go, "but your taking me to dinner and drinks afterwards ok..." I went. Suit came out of moth balls, alittle snug, need to go to the gym? I remember how much I hate wearing a tie/hangmans noose. Meeting bag had lost a handle...when did that happen. Wife doing her hair.....I may as well, build a tree house while waiting....yep 10 minutes to 7:30 she's ready. {Takes 15 to get there} Walking past the windows during the prayer I was suprised at how many "sisters" did not have eyes closed on this holy night, but instead were looking at the late comers through the window "Oooh what's she wearing"...weird! Elder "big smile" shakes my hand like I was the President, no two seats together so I stood akwardly for afew minutes. Why didn't we come earlier, oh right the Jeniffer Aniston hair do. Pull out my "song book" I took from home only to find I had grabbed the 2011 Yearbook instead..."S##T" I whispered. The Elder giving the talk was like the teacher in "Ferris buellers day off" he had a nasal drone kindda voice and when looking up text would say "Romans 2:13.....so that's Mathew, Mark, Luke, then John...Acts, .....then Romans".....HE DID THIS EVERY TIME! When serving the wine Elder "big smile" dropped the white cloth from the wine and had a bit of a laugh....I'm sure that on this sacred night that made Jesus cry. As I got my hands on it I paused for a second and thought, I could swig this in one gulp, my mum partakes each year...would there be a huge GASP! Would Elder "big smile" get mad and yank it from my hands? I thought about an empty class being passed around and smiled.... Only 2 verse songs now, very quick! We left right away GREAT....I ran to the bar at the resturant but it was a busy night this Nisan 14 and everyone wanted to "partake" of the wine as much as me. I had to get the taste of Jesus out of my mouth. Had some drinks, nice steak dinner and didn't think much about Jesus after that. WOW WHAT A HUUUUGGE MOOOON!!!!
My Wierd memorial story 2012...I was going to "swig it."
by Witness 007 14 Replies latest jw friends
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TOTH
I can't say the thought of partaking has not crossed my mind....Ol' Big Smile would have gasped I bet! LOL
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heathen
Man you guyz with the, was gona and am going to and not actually following through . I wanna hear of somebody doing it , or are you in fact affraid of what may happen.?MMMMMMMM
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ziddina
Yup, kind of a weird "Memorial" story...
Though I was kind of hoping for demonic Smurfs....
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exwhyzee
Your story about being late because of your wife's hair/mirror time. I forgot about always being at least 5 minutes late because of this. While growing up it was because of my Mom and Sisters and then later it was my Wife. She always turned up looking like she just stepped off a magazie cover (Awake!) but I hated walking in late during the song. Finally towards the end of my JW career, I started refusing to go if we weren't going to be there on time. Many's the time I was all ready to go and just took my suit off and enjoyed my evening at home instead.
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Witness 007
Sorry Ziddina forgot....a Smurf doll jumped out of a kids hands and very loudly ate two plates of bread with cheese he had in his pocket, and drank all the wine while singing "Stairway to heven."
But, that's normal here in Australia.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
I thought about getting a little toy smurf and floating it face-down in the wineglass.
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ziddina
THERE we go, Witness 007!!! That's more like it...
Billy - as usual you've come up with another hilarious idea!!
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scotoma
Can you imagine what it is like to have tourettes syndrome on memorial night?
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Deceived
Your story gave me a laugh Witness 007, BUT I am shocked to hear that your kingdom hall has windows that you could see them praying and they could look out at you arriving LOL. Most of the Halls now have few windows and if they do have them they are way up at the top so you cant see out or in.