The ugliest statment A parent can say to their child. (page 2)

sabastious

I'm sorry jam, no one deserves that kind of treatment.

-Sab

mrsjones5

" There are worse things than being unwanted before you are born. You can be unwanted after you are born."

You said it sista. Gosh, I have so many stories I could tell about the crappy things my parents did to me as a child. My mother told me over and over that I had no personality because I was quiet and my father basically ignored me unless I did something wrong. Things didn't get any better when I reached my teens years. I wanted desperately to be a model, my father told me I didn't have the looks for it. My mother would tease and harass me about being chubby when she was just as fat. I'm the oldest but my father bought my sister a car when she was 15 (I'm almost 3 years older than her) and when I protested my father said to me just because I was the oldest not to expect anything special. Wtf!

I have four kids and I don't treat them with disrespect and meanness like my parents did me because I love them, really love them with all my heart and they know it.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

jam,

I don't see a need for you to feel bad or guilty about what the ex said to the kids. She's the one that should be burdened with guilt. Just keep reminding your children that you are glad that you had them and that you love them very much... But I get the impression that you already do that.

Jeffro

jam, you have a PM

ohiocowboy

Jam, I am sorry that your ex said that to your kids. Jw's can be so cruel.

The Silence, it must have been very uncomfortable to be shunned and ignored by your father when you were only 13. I laud the fact that you were able to forgive him so easily. Forgiveness is a quality that is becoming more rare in the world, and it is refreshing to see someone such as yourself so willing after all that he did to you.

I was beaten a lot, usually by my mother but I didn't mind that as much as the verbal words. My father would sometimes tell me that he hated me, called me worthless, useless, that I wasn't his son (Even though he really was my father), and he told me that I disgusted him and made him sick. My mother would call me Queer, Sissy, Rag Doll, Squishy Marshmallow, muffin, and a Dish rag. Take out the trash, Queer; do the dishes Sissy, etc. When my mother called me those things, the look on her face was one of anger mixed with disgust, so much so that she even spit on my face one time, but the look on my father's face was as if I was a piece of sh*t that got stuck on his shoe mixed with pure hatred. No exaggerations. After all of these years, I can still see the look on his face, and I can still feel how it made me feel.

It was very emotional for me, and I spent many days crying when I was alone. But, I didn't dare cry when they were around though, or I would get beaten and the names would start again. The very last words that I ever heard my father say to me was when they found out that I was Gay, and he said that I may as well be a murderer or rapist, and as far as he was concerned he has no son. My mother agreed with him, and my mother told me that they threw away any pictures that they had of me. That was the last I ever heard from my father, he died several years later, and I didn't find out until 3 years after the fact when I found his obituary on the internet. My mother wouldn't even call me to tell me that he died, and when I asked her about it, she told me that I would have to find out about her on the internet too.

My parents had the appearance of being the perfect couple. My father was even the P.O. on the cong. JW's are all about appearance. If others only knew what went on behind closed doors.

Sorry for the long post, but I couldn't stop typing. It feels so good to get something out that has been bottled up for awhile.

vanyell

It's really painful to have parents that tell their children that they are not liked or aren't wanted at all. Children, as result will go either way, being self destructive or learn to live a full life. It's really up to the child personally on how will one decide to react to such a screwy situation. Unfortunately, a lot of those will chose self-destruction. With JW's practice of shunning, it is even more imperative that the ex-JW community be able to provide a positive supporting structure to help those persons deeply affected by this insidious doctrine. To help them to stand on their own and realize that having free will means that one gets to choose what path to take. and the courage to stand on it. Whether there is a God or not, we must be cognizant of the fact that, in the end, one is truly alone. Fight the good fight. Kudos to all the members of the forum who have been extremely supportiive, compassionate and patient with ex-JW newbies and JW trolls.

nugget

Taking out spite on the children is cruel. It is these brief moments of cruelty that we cling to and have the biggest impact. Your wife was so wrong t tell the children they were unwanted. Certainly to offer them no reassurance that whatever had been her state of mind in the past she had no regrets now would have tempered her statement and offered the children the hope that they were indeed loved. However if they have a dad that loves them that is still a special thing and your x wife needs to be very concerned after all it is the children that get to pick your nursing home.

Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

Even if there is an apology the doubt of their love never goes away.

My mom always said that, when the time came to decide if they wanted kids or not, my Dad and her still weren't sure and figured it was now or never; they had two, my older sister and I. Even though she never said we weren't wanted I've always wondered, "are you sure now?"

I can only imagine what you are going through, am so sorry and am sending a big hug.

Found Sheep

again.... Family the 6 letter F word

Found Sheep

again.... Family the 6 letter F word

The ugliest statment A parent can say to their child.

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