by so confused 24 Replies latest jw friends
Unless you want to be disfellowshipped and shunned by your friends and family, you must keep all anti-JW thoughts to yourself. They are not going to listen to you. Further, they will disown you and side with the JWs.
Please continue learning, reading, researching and posting here. Also, please read Steve Hassan's first book, 'Combatting Cult Mind Control', to better understand why your friends and family are not going to believe anything you tell them.
Because I dont want my baby to have no contact with his family and it to be my fault.
I'm not telling you what to do, but please realize that this type of thinking is programmed by the organization.
If you disassociate or get disfellowshiped for apostasy, the shunning WON'T be your fault.
It will be the fault of the Governing Body and of JWs who slavishy follow them.
The door will be bolted on their side, not on yours.
FYI -My mom would not go to the Elders. The Elders dont know where she lives and they dont have her card. over the years she has been hurt and had witnesses in her "business" which she does not like. But she still ties in. That why I felt more comfortable talking to her and thought she would be a little more open. She even told me she knows there are problems and JW dont have a spiritiual paridise. She told me my inlaws may talk to the elders. So I need to be careful what I say to them and others.
Its so weird that they dont believe everything. My sister in law stated "not sure if there was a global flood, dont think 6 billion people are going to die" (things the society teaches) but the same time they are defending Watchtower. "stated need to rely on Jehovah. New scrolls will be opened." I can understand if your blinded and not thinking - but to already have doubt but not look into it and do your own research - does not make sence to me.
"I told her this is the 1st time I had thought about things and really read my bible and compared instead of blindly following what someone told me." She said that good and she knows alot of JW are not thinking.
Thanks for you replies. But what do you say if they push the issue and continuely asking why your not going to meeting? I tried "we are not talking about it right now " "We have doubts and are doing research" But they kept on asking questions. Family can be pushy. And we see them almost every work day because they babysit my baby.
Perhaps at this point it would be advantageous to avoid talking about JW stuff. When you're going to be around them, have a list of things to talk about. I think that's given me a good footing in my fade, proving that we can have a JW-free relationship. And if they start talking about KH stuff, I go silent until the subject dies.
I think my family/friends have been non-confrontational about the fact that I no longer attend meetings because my personal history in the cult has most of them questioning 'why did Billy stay in as long as he did?'
Having free child care is important, but you need an exit plan since you don't want your child(ren) growing up with these stupid phobias.
"But what do you say if they push the issue and continuely asking why your not going to meeting?"
You say this: "Your questions are making me uncomfortable. When I'm ready to discuss it, I'll contact you."
"Its so weird that they dont believe everything."
This is normal for victims of Thought Reform. If you read Hassan's book, you'll see what I'm talking about. They are captive to the concept that WT is God's Organization. All other religions are from the Devil. So, even if they don't agree with a certain point of doctrine, 'where else can they go?'. In their minds, it's Watchtower or Satan. There are no other options.
Hi So Confused, so sorry to hear you're going through all this with your family. The advice you've been given so far is really excellent, please think carefully about what others have passed on from their own experience, it's so useful for you. Behaving strategically now might save you a lot of heartbreak, and when in the near future you get your bearings and feel less panic stricken and stressed it will have helped to keep your thoughts close to your chest and acted shrewdly. You are up against a cult, as is your family, it's not as easy journey to escape it, but definitely worth the effort.
Loz x
marked
Say what I say:
I am just tired and discouraged, and have to work so much to make ends meet.
And don't say any more.
This has stopped the questions from elders and 'concerned family members.'
Above all DON'T talk about your doubts with witnesses. it will only hurt you in the short and long run.
Welcome and take a deep relaxing breath.
