Thinking about disassociating yourself - STOP!...at least for a moment

by rory-ks 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Disillusioned JW
    Disillusioned JW

    Leaving the JWs by writing a letter of resignation as a publisher:

    I thought of another way to gain closure in leaving the organization, other than by writing a letter of disassociation. It is by writing a letter of resignation as a publisher and resignation from the theocratic ministry school (or whatever it is now called). I wrote and mailed such a letter a few months ago. I had become a fader years ago. My sending the letter was not for the benefit of the elders but for my own psychological benefit.

    I didn't like being on record as one of JWs since I stopped believing in a number of their unique doctrines and since I am now even an atheist, philosophical naturalist, and a secular humanist. Think of it this way, if I had joined a political party and later disapproved of the party so much that I didn't want people to think of me as a member of that party, I would be motivated to officially leave that party by revising my voter registration. Likewise I wanted to leave the JWs in some official manner, but without triggering the shunning policy (all of my immediate family members are JWs, though they are in a different congregation than the one I last attended).

    The only record the congregation had of me as a JW was the congregation's publisher record card pertaining to me. In the case the WT Society, they claim not to have a membership list of JWs though they probably have records of those who had become ministerial servants, those who had applied to Bethel, and those who applied to be a pioneer publisher. Furthermore the WTs published total number of publishers (such as peak publishers) are what JWs consider to be the total number of JWs. Thus in some sense an inactive JW is no longer a JW, though they are usually still treated as one if they still attend JW meetings. Even if they are a fader who completely ceased attending JW meetings (even the Memorial) they are still treated somewhat as a JW (at least they are not normally shunned).

    I had been an inactive publisher but I had ceased thinking of myself as a publisher (in the JW sense of the word) at all. Since resigning as a publisher (at least for faders) it not the same as officially disassociating or becoming disfellowshipped, I thus officially resigned as a publisher. In the letter I mentioned that I had ceased being an active publisher (in the JW sense) several years ago and that I now consider myself an ex-publisher and not merely an inactive publisher. In the letter I state that it is not a letter of disassociation (without stating I never disassociated from the JWs, since in a de facto sense I had disassociated from the religion and the congregation) and that nothing in the letter is grounds for disfellowshipping. I said that if they still have a congregation's publisher record card pertaining to me, then please either destroy it (since I am now an ex-publisher) or please add a comment to it saying I am now an ex-publisher. In the letter I also told them I have resigned from the theocratic ministry school (and that I hadn't participated in it for several years). Whether or not the elders carried out these requests of mine is not important to me. What is important to me is that sent them a letter in which I instructed them to do so and that I have a copy of that letter. I thus now feel that for all practical purposes I am out of the JW religion. If I were to later finish writing and then publish a book criticizing the JW religion, disproving Christianity and the Bible's supernatural claims, and promoting atheism, I won't be worried about someone saying aren't you a JW? That is because I could show that I am no longer a JW publisher, in additional to pointing out that I had stopped believing and practicing the religion years ago. As a result of me sending the letter I no longer feel the least bit dishonest in me telling people I am an ex-JW. I no longer feel the need to qualify the statement of being an ex-JW by saying 'though on paper I am still a JW.'

    By the way, I was baptized in 1981 and thus before the baptismal vows were changed to say that JW baptism would "identify [me] as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in association with God’s spirit-directed organization."

  • rory-ks
    rory-ks

    Is this something you have recently done, DJW? If so, has there been any reaction? I'd be interested to know how this method worked out for you.

    A couple of further points:

    I don't think we ever stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses - not in their eyes, anyway. Their public announcement, "So-and-so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses," is just so much bullsh*t. To me. proof of this is the fact that when someone is reinstated, they do not need to get re-baptised. They do not need to publicly answer "Yes!" to the second baptism question. They are simply accepted back in to the congregation, and their initial baptism still stands.

    The announcement, "So-and-so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses," makes a mockery of 1 Corinthians 5:11. "But now I am writing you to stop keeping company with anyone called a brother who is..." Making such an announcement means that so-and-so is no longer a brother and therefore does not come under the umbrella of "anyone called a brother." It is contradictory clap-trap.

    If the body of elders still keeps a Specialised Shepherding List, then chances are our names are on it, indelibly. Once a Witness, always a Witness.

    The second thing is, The change to the baptism questions in 1985 would no doubt be considered retro-active. Anyone baptised pre-1985 would be covered by the change whether they like it or not. It is just another example of the organisation of Jehovah's Witnesses being a Ship of Theseus.

  • prologos
    prologos
    Disassociation is a wt weasel word for disfellowshipping, when some jw enrolls in the military for example. so, after reading all the good pro and con arguments made here, do you still want to do it? a good, must read this thread.
  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I gave my reasons 4 years ago on this Thread for not DAing, and they still stand, but for one nagging thought I keep getting, which is, I would hate for anybody to think I was a JW in any way, shape, or form, even something as mild as the "lapsed Catholic" kind of idea.

    But I do not think that the JW's perhaps entertaining some silly idea that I will return, will be expunged from their minds by my DAing, and as for non-JW's, if they ever find out I was once one, I explain in no uncertain terms why I am no longer one, and that I could not ever return, I would rather die than do that.

    Everyone's circumstances and feelings are different, so do what you want, and what you must, but give it long and careful thought, you will not be able to undo a DA without great heartache,pain, and being a downright hypocrite and liar.

    On balance, I am very pleased with how it has turned out being a Fader.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot
    Why play by their rules?
  • dubstepped
    dubstepped
    Just take a second, read the original post in this thread, and ask yourself who is playing their game? The guy that disassociates and leaves once and for all time? Or the guy that has to come up with 1001 ways to get around judicial actions and that can't be authentic in the presence of others just so he can fade? The guy that takes a stand or the guy that hides his true feelings? The guy that knows shunning is inevitable and does it on his timetable by disassociating, or the guy that waits for the inevitable to happen but by bit, always waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  • ttdtt
    ttdtt
    rory-ks
    I have been struggling with that for a long time. Not knowing what to do, trapped and angry. You make good points.
  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    " The guy that knows shunning is inevitable and does it on his timetable by disassociating, or the guy that waits for the inevitable to happen but by bit, always waiting for the other shoe to drop? "

    False dichotomy, many of us have faded, are not shunned, and have reached the point where we don't give a flying fudge bar if the twats at the K.H did decide to take some action against us, but we are happy to retain our status as faders.

    I don't live my life looking over my shoulder, I am an exXJW, they do not worry me one bit.

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped
    Not a false dichotomy just because it doesn't happen 100%of the time. It happens very often though. Some can fade and be left alone. Others can't. Doesn't make the thoughts irrelevant to all.
  • Giordano
    Giordano

    You simply stop going, you don't need to explain anything other then to a believing mate or one's children if that. If you talk to your mate you say it's because of the pedophile issue, you reference the Australian Royal Commission you state the facts calmly. Use CBS and CNN reports, you stick to your point, you don't answer questions about the GB or if it's the truth as proclaimed by the WTBTS. You don't meet with two Elder's and there's not a damn thing they can do.

    You need not fade NOR hand them a letter of DA. You just walk a way.

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