My pain has been in remission. I have a morphine pump. Pain broke through toward the end of the medication. It is taking its time calming down. I fear it will never calm down. Besides the physical agony, I fear I will not be able to work. Years of my life have spent reading Job and the angry Psalms. The last line of Revelation, "Come, Lord Jesus," has big bold magic marker in my writing screaming "COME LORD JESUS!!NOW."
The post traumatic stress disorder stemming from the days when the pain was very chronic takes over.
I know I am not universally liked. Neither am I universally hated. I just wish you would send prayers or good wishes to help me cope better.
The agony was unbearable. Statistically, I should be dead. When I am not in pain, I have the massive gall to bitch when I should be singing "Glory to God in the HIghest." How a loving God can let us suffer so much is beyond my comprehension. Jesus may have healed some people in the first century but most just suffered.
When I read Job, it is my sentiments exactly, so powerfully written and so profound. There is nothing that I can add.