In my thoughts and prayers.
Horrid Time for Me
by Band on the Run 76 Replies latest jw friends
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Band on the Run
I am very frustrated. When I lived in NYC, there were tons of therapy and support groups. My md told me that insurance reimbursement has changed and that this community has no such groups. I've tried so hard to accept it. The problem is that I can't force it. If it is chronic again, I am goind down. It comes and goes for the last decade. Most of the time I am pain free. The morphine pump gave me no relief when it was installed-even with morphine at the maximum dose. The pain never breaks through after a refill, or in the middle. It is always when a refill is due. Yet they extract the exact amount of morphine that should be left. It is very confusing. Maybe in my anxiety, I want legal guarantees and affadavits.
I can only work on my reaction to the pain. Losing a job b/c of a brief spurt would be tragic. I do have PTSD. Besides being told to suck it up, I am not taught any specific behavioral techniques. A support group of even veterans suffering from PTSD would help me so much. Are vets told to suck it up or are they given resources? If anyone knows any info, I would be extremely grateful. Not everyone can deal with PTSD but not all fail at it. I am an outsider here and have no instinctive feel for what is available.
Also, my family is in shambles due to violence and the Witnesses. A faux family would be good for me. I have done some short term pain mgmt behavioral therapy. I am much more willing to suffer if another pain patient encourages me than some academic md reading from a text book who has no idea what I feel, both physically and emotionally.
There was only pain mgmt at cancer centers when I first encountered the pain. I begged for an exemption. The pump gives me zero side effects. Also, the amount has not been increased in ten years. When you actually have pain, psychological addiction and tolerance are extremely rare.
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still thinking
Band I really feel for you and I wish there was some way I could help...I really do....
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N.drew
Dear Band on the Run I have sent you a pm.
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talesin
Hey. I just saw this post. It's horrible to live in constant agony, and so sorry you are going through this. The dreaded thoughts of never being able to work again, are even worse. At times, it's hard not to feel hopeless, I know. Just know, you are not alone.
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Bubblegum Apotheosis
BOTR, you have figured out your pain levels will fluctuate with your anxiety levels, the more anxiety and stress, your pain will amplify to new high levels.
Take time away from posting on the forums, your body's position while sitting might add more stress, equaling more pain.
Morphine pumps will have some negative side affects, I am not talking about addiction or dependancy, (Headaches, Nausea, Constipation) and a plethora of other fun things,
Changing up will help bust through "deep pain", my brother was exposed to some nasty stuff in Gulf War 1, he is screwed up good.