What to you do when you are being shunned?

by aprostate 17 Replies latest jw experiences

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  aprostate

  I used to be quiet around witnesses who were shunning me. I will never do that again. I changed my mind after my dad's funeral a couple of years ago. I was their alone since I live in a different state; but, I guess everybody still knew who I was because of my mom. Only one person came up to me and said they were sorry about my dad to me. They would say something to my mom and walk right past me. So I just sat there saying nothing. I didn't start crying until the one girl was brave enough to talk to me. I had known her as a girl in a different state. She told my mom she felt sorry for me and couldn't keep from talking to me.

  After that I made up my mind that I will never make it easy for them again.

  What do you do when confronted by someone shunning you?

  Cheri
• 

  Beans

  Act like your still in and approach them with warm appostate love!

  Beans
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  DanielHaase

  Sometimes it's hard, but the old saying "kill them with kindness" may apply. Most of the time I just want to Kill 'em.
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  Kep

  I don't worry about them, in fact I shun them.
  This happened to me just after Xmas.
  I bumped into a JW friend of mine. She is inactive, divorced, and was sporting her first baby.
  We hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, so it was good to see her in town.
  We stood talking etc.. and he dub mother walks up and stands there, I ignored her totally.
  As my friend and I spoke she got cheeky to her mother and said referring to me "he's not invisible".
  In our conversation she found out who I was and took a step back, then cruised off.
  Talking to my friend later, she said he mother was quite surprised at how proud and confident I was.
  Too right lady !! They don't bother me at all.
  My sentiment has always been "If I'm not good enough for them, they're not good enough for me".
• 

  garybuss

  Hi Apro, All

  I am in no way dependent on any follower of the Watch Tower Corporations. In that light, I shun them. I do not give dignity by my presence, to anything they might do by way of funerals, weddings, or anything else.

  Their religion is an outrage. Their behaviors are the worst on the planet. As a group they do not meet my minimum standards for competency nor association.

  I have disfellowshipped them. If they want association with me they need to make written application and if I believe they are repentant they need to come to my home 3 times a week for a total of 5 hours a week for a minimum of one year. They have to sit in the back and no one will talk to them.

  I refuse to be in the same building with anyone who would shun me nor will I be with any person who will not attack anyone who did shun me. It is self abuse to allow shunning without retaliation. And it is abuse to be with a person who is being shunned and not defend that person in a way that all involved will never forget.

  The Watch Tower Corporation's agents have tried to fractionally shun me for years. Those days have long been over.
  
  Sorry about the loss of your father and sorry you have had to experience such horrible behavior. Wish you a long, happy, healthy, and prosperous life.

  gb
• 

  Scully

  Dear Aprostate:

  People only can shun you if you let them. So I don't let them (and I'm not even DA'd or DF'd, but still the JWs try to give me the "treatment").

  When I see a JW whom I haven't seen in a while and realize that they're giving me the cold shoulder of shunning, I walk right up to them and give them a big HUG and say, Hi!!! It's so GOOD to see you!! It's been SUCH a LONG time!! How are you?? Of course, they stiffen up because they're in shock. When that happens, I let them go, and in a surprised tone, I'll say Oh my! I didn't realize that you'd been disfellowshipped! I'm so sorry! I had NO IDEA! You, of ALL people! then I turn on my heel and walk away. It does them good to get a taste of their own medicine!

  Love, Scully

  
  
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  bigfloppydog

  Same thing happened to me at my dad's funeral, some shunned me, because they were afraid of what would happen to them if they did talk to me, even a family member came up to me and said, well I guess under these circumstances, I should give you a hug, I never said anything at first, but later when I had time to think it over, I felt like saying, well if you can't hug me because you love me, then just don't bother. I didn't even know that he knew I was DA, so someone in the family must have told him, yet another member of my family kindly gave me a hug and asked how I was. Figure that out how come some can and others can't, even some sister's from my ex-congregation hugged me and expressed their sympathy. Now when someone meets me on the street, I do not back down, I may not say anything, but I don't hang my head in shame, I give them straight eye contact, and more often than none, they back down first. It's hard enough at a funeral then having to go through stuff like that.
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  ozziepost

  People only can shun you if you let them.

  I'm not so sure about this. What if you get a door slammed in your face? What if you get pushed over? That has nothing to do with 'letting them', does it?

  Seem far-fetched? Sorry to have to relate, but it's happened recently in the 'fair' Olympic city of Sydney. The offenders? ELDERS!!!

  Cheers,
  Ozzie

  "If our hopes for peace are placed in the hands of imperfect people, they are bound to evaporate."

  
  - Ron Hutchcraft Surviving the Storms of Stress
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  plmkrzy

  aprostate
  Hello there and sorry to here about your Dad.
  It is a shame that they allow'd themselves to behave so cold hearted.
  I like skullys approach. Sometimes doing stuff like that can can change your whole perspective and realy lift your spirits.
  The world is our biggest emotional rollercoaster.
  You can love it or hate it.

  bukup litt'l fell'r. tomorrows a new day.

  Sorry I don't know what came over me.

  plm

  "The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
  - Kin Hubbard
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  Carmel

  Apro,

  When I went to my brother's funeral I was given the cold shoulder by everyone except the non-jdubs. When the Cong Serv. began the typical Jdub "preach to them while their captive" thing, I got up and walked out in front of the whole room. Stood on the steps and smoked a Lucky Stike or two until it was over. Dam, that made me fell good!

  carmel