What to you do when you are being shunned? (page 2)

aprostate

I'm sorry so many of you have had the same experience at dub funerals that I did because I know how bad it hurt me. It disgusts me what some of you have had to go through. I wish my skin was a little tougher than it is; but, at least I'm better than I used to be.

I am so glad that I don't live in the area where I was disfellowshipped at, so I don't run into any Witnesses that I know here.

Another good thing; I think their shunning me doesn't look to good to the outside world. A nondub girlfriend I have from back home went to my great aunts funeral. She said they were all talking about how bad all my family treats me because I'm not a JW like them. My parents disowned me when I was dissassociated and was disfellowshipped. Told me that I would have been stoned if I lived back in the days of the Bible. I don't know if that meant for fornication or for turning my back on Jehovah. My dad asked to see me when he was dying. So he talked to me then. When he died he said, "Did you ever THINK we didn't love you". I think he practiced that speech for when I came back to being a JW; but, because he was dying he knew it was too late. Since my dad has died my mom has been talking to me a little bit. Trying to do it only when it is business; but bending a little.

I am so glad that ex-JWs now have the internet and that the Witnesses are not growing anymore. They used to love to say they were the fastest growing religion in the world. 20 years ago, you were just left flailing (sp).

Sorry, this is kind of skipping around; but, thats just how my thoughts were running.

Hugs,
Cheri

Valis

get out and see the world...get a tattoo..get laid, get drunk, read Crisis of Conscience, ,go to college, visit apostates from your/other state, give lots of spankings with newly purchased whips, throw away JW litterature, buy a smurf, give blood, practice all seven deadly sins until you get them just right, go to a strip club, watch pornography, hit on strange women, leer at strange women with the knowledge Jehovah isn't watching all the while thinking naughty thoughts, go to an R rated movie, get involved in organized sports, become an organ donor, play with yourself utilizing wreckless abandon and a Playboy, vote, visit a mosque/hindu temple/cathedral (not necessarily in that order), have anonymous sex, experiment with drugs, buy a copy of the Kama Sutra (trust me on this one), salute the flag at a ballgame, volunteer for something besides building a Kingdom Hall, give money to a charity other than your local Elder Retirement Fund.....brain hurts...can't think of more at the moment....

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

bluesapphire

Gary

It is self abuse to allow shunning without retaliation. And it is abuse to be with a person who is being shunned and not defend that person in a way that all involved will never forget.

That's exactly what I told my sister when she called me and told me to let her know when I was going to be at any family gatherings so she could know in advance and shun me. I said, "This is abuse and I wont cooperate with it. I don't believe in Watchtower rules and I don't follow Watchtower rules."

But you know the second part of what you said is what gets to me because although my "worldly" family has been supportive and has said they are disgusted with what my sister is doing, I really wish they would tell her something she would never forget right in front of us both. I wish they would say, "You are rude and if this is what your religion teaches you, WE WANT NO PART OF IT!!!"

But instead they let her get away with her behavior. They have no balls to tell her to her face what they have said to me in private and that really bugs.

Pamela

Dear Apro,
I am so sorry for you and what you encountered at your Dads funeral. It just shows how unloving the JWs are. What would it have hurt to at least offer condolenses at such a painful time.But they don;t look at it that way. They are as the scriptures say wearing that veil that keeps them from seeing what they hear. I too was dfed 18 yrs ago and have been emotionally abused by my Mom who is a a strong JW and she vascilates between shunning me and then weasling her way back in. Just last week she called out of the blue and said she was dissaciating herself from me. Then she turned around the next day and changed her mind again. Anyway,this time I called her and took control of the situation and I will call the shots on how she treats me. You just have to get tough and take control. I know its hard but its more painful to be on the other side of the fence. I do think you have an advantage leaving away from ex-jws. I wish you well on your journey to spirtual growth and freedom.

Pamela,

To those who,by the dint of glass and vapour,
Discover stars,and sail in the wind's eye-
-Byron

Bang

"As for a man who is factious, after admonishing him once or twice, have nothing more to do with him"

Fuck them - have nothing to to with them at all.
Out of cowardice and fear of personal loss they'll go against natural kindness and neglect their fellow man, and just like a bunch of goats, go about taking the 'food' off others.

"those who are factious and do not obey the truth, but obey wickedness"

Bang

Pubsinger

I pray for every JW I see or meet.

Its the only way to stop becoming bitter and it totally nullifies any bad effect their shunning or rudeness has on me.

After a few seconds I feel better and just get on with my life, which is great.

I especially do this for JWs who I would love to rip off their arms and beat to death with the stumps!!!!

AMarie

Usually, I make it a point to say hello to JWs if they are in my presence.

The way I see it is, one of you is inevitably going to feel uncomfortable, and it might as well be them. I want them to know that I don't play by their petty rules any longer and I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. There is no way in hell I'm going to be treated like a second class, like an outcast or criminal.

Xander

Usually, I make it a point to say hello to JWs if they are in my presence.

I guess I've never done this becuase, to be frank, if we did not have the same religion, I would have never talked to them. You know? The type of people the j-dubs attracted just aren't 'my crowd'.

So when I drifted away, I just didn't feel the need to great them when I ran into them again. I mean, sure, we went to the same church for a few years, but any time I talked to them there I had to force the conversation, because they really didn't interest me as people. We just had nothing else in common.

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

What to you do when you are being shunned?

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