by Bangalore 34 Replies latest jw friends
The more you are instructed to do what they tell you, the less time you will have free thought and define yourself.
I remember a CO talk where he spoke mockingly of people who wanted to 'find themselves'! He said Christians should never be interested in such independent thinking and should not give into urges to 'find themselves'. They were Christians---that was all the defintion they needed.
NC
Welcome Tamasin! I'll have to look up your first posts---I hope you introduced yourself.
" I remember the first time as a kid I comprehended that I could never do enough for the organization."
Yes, it also hard when you know as a child that you don't want to do this stuff for the organization and you're made to feel bad and worthless because that supposed taken for granted that everyone else has desire isn't there. I felt for a long time when I was a child that I was the scum of the earth simply because I detested all that had to be done to be a good little jw. I actually thought something was wrong with me.
Guilt feelings at never having done enough are common among JWs.
That's because the whole legalistic WT system operates by fear and guilt.
Having a constantly dissatisfied authority figure like the GB/CO/elders driving you is hard enough.
But when you realize that you are feeling guilty even though no one has said a word to you, you realize how powerful the mind control is.
The magazines' portrayal of the WTS as Jehovah's happy organization adds to this.
First, they make you feel like a constant, personal disappointment to Jehovah, a sorry excuse for one of his witnesses.
Then you feel completely alone beause you aren't experiencing the happiness and joy of the spiritual paradise the magazines portray the organization to be.
Since you can't talk about it for fear of looking weak or even apostate, you don't realize that virtually everyone else at the hall feels the same way.
NewChapter- I've seen you many posts but your avitar just makes me smile
not to change topic...
Yes prior to leaving the cult I was Found Guilt Sheep. In every freeking aspect of my life
When I was 18 I was engaged to a brother. We had a few sexual encounters but we never married, I got a dear Jane letter calling off the wedding. That was in 1984. A few years later, in 2007, I got to speak to him again and he brought out how he still felt guilty about those sexual encounters. It had been 23 freaking years ago and he still felt guilt! I told him that was nice but I felt no guilt about what happened, that was years ago and really has no effect on me now. Yeah, he's still a brother. Pitiful.
I don't see anything listed there about helping those less fortunate, healing the sick, or feeding the hungry.
Going door-to-door handing out magazines accomplishes nothing of this. Jehovah's Witnesses are not following the core of Jesus' teachings.
As a teenager, this was one of many of my observations and conclusions about this group.
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Bangalore
Bangalore:
Yes, you were supposed to feel you were never good enough and could never do enough. This was supposed to extend into all facets of your life and personality. You were supposed to be an exhausted, unworthy doormat.
The best you could hope for was "....maybe in that day you will be concealed, etc." So, you never had a guarantee that you would be saved if you did this and that and I suppose that was supposed to keep you from being complacent and ever-ready to please an entity (or an organization) that could never be pleased.
Guess what? After a while, I said "screw it" and I stopped killing myself. When I found out the religion's hidden history and scandals on the internet in 2000, I was greatly relieved and felt I could finally unload that ton of bricks once and for all!!!
