Kind of Depressed, Looking for Someone to Talk to

by Reborn2002 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Some of you on this board know me, or at least part of my story, very likely most of you do not.

    I am a 21 yr old male from Chicago who finally mustered the courage to DA myself roughly 6 months ago.

    Being a 3rd-generation JW, my grandfather was an elder 45 years, so this developed a reputation and precedence for me that I would one day be a CO.. or go to Bethel. Such high expectations, which I am happy I never fulfilled.

    Being raised in the Org, the only friends I ever really developed in social circles were JW. Time and again I was kind of used and abused by these so called "friends", and I thoroughly believed the doctrine, and gsve without asking in return. I know I have a good heart, I just dont know if there is a place for a person with a loving heart anymore.

    After dealing with more BS than I could conceivably type in a post, and then soul-searching and researching for myself information about the WTBTS, I took a stand and DA myself, despite losing every friend I ever had, and going against all Id ever been taught.

    I guess I just feel sad and lonely sometimes. To have your own flesh-and-blood brother and his wife tell you how sad it will be after Armageddon when your grandparents are resurrected explaining why you will not be there.. maybe you can understand why I am depressed.

    My own mother has told me time and again she loves me, but not the man that I am. Why do they insist you accept the Truth as the only path, and if you question its validity.. your the devil? They want householders to have an open mind and listen to their message, but when I tried to tell my family about the UN involvement, the change in various doctrines, and the ever prevalent hypocrisy, they rebutted that I was the saddest excuse for a human being to walk this earth.

    I have difficulty making friends, for I have so little trust in people. You only get hurt so many times, that you build a barrier to avoid emotion, so as not to get hurt again. God, Im 21, and sometimes I feel like Im 60.

    Im not posting here for sympathy, and Im not posting for other people to start replying questioning my honesty, which seems to happen alot in this place. I can understand why people are so defensive, lord knows as much as Ive been lied to, I know why people are skeptical.

    I guess I just relate so much easier to people on this board. Ive tried talking to coworkers and even a psychologist about my feelings and my situation, but I guess you just cant fully understand or cope unless youve experienced it yourself. From reading many of the posts on this board, Ive been saddened by loss, uplifted by people overcoming obstacles, and amazed at stories that in some ways are so similar to my own. I guess I just want to find some tangible friends who are ex-JW, who are trying just as hard as me to overcome the psychological and emotional devastation that the whirlwind of leaving the Org causes.

    Some of you may have been to my website. Sometimes I feel or appear like I am on top of the world, and most would probably figure by looking at me that I am very happy. Most dont realize that the ones who look most happy, are often dying inside. Sometimes I think Im crazy, I go from being thrilled that I had the courage to walk away and for standing up for myself knowing full well that the JW are bogus, and sometimes I feel soo sad because I feel like Ive let my entire family down. Does this make sense? Or am I truly crazy?

    Anyway, I just felt like typing out something here. Id love to hear some other peoples stories, and Id love to make some "real" friends, who will appreciate me for me, and not what they can get out of me.

    :(

    The true Kingdom of God is located in your heart, not an organization of hypocrites.

    www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html for my new webpage and info!! Im trying to live now!!

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    {{{{{Reborn}}}}}

    I really do understand. Many of us find it hard to trust people and really have had a hard time meeting and making friends.

    I recently asked my mother how she will feel being in "paradise" without myself or my sister? She said she would be sad...but she would be in paradise. I felt sad for her.

    You are not crazy. You did not let your family down. What they expected of you was "Stepford." Did you really want to go through life reciting things you did not believe in? No. That is why you walked away.

    The hardest thing in the world is to feel that our families have abandoned us. For the most part they have. It is all or nothing. This is not true love. True love is unconditional. You will find unconditional love. Please give yourself time.

    You will also find friends who only want you for your friendship and companionship. Again, give it time.

    If you want to e-mail me, please do. I will give you my phone number and we can talk.

    Please do not feel that you are alone...you are not...many of us here have similar families and stories.

    love and hugs,
    Tina AKA puffs

  • larry black
    larry black

    My email is larrysback369 if you want to talk to someone. Understanding and confidentuality is guarranteed.

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    reborn, i'm sorry you are feeling depressed and down. big hugs to you.

    i posted a story about my family on monday here, click on the paper thing under my name over there <----- if you want to read it. also my email is open and i'm on yahoo chat: harmony3_1999

    i'm glad you can share and express your feelings here. i know it helps me to get those feelings out. anyway, feel free to email me or look me up on yahoo messenger.

    hugs! sending good vibes your way :)

    love
    harmony

  • Kep
    Kep

    Hey there Reborn2002,
    Well mate, it seems we have been in the same boat. It's just your turn to row!!
    I'm the same, 3rd gen JW, felt I had all the expectations of my family upon my shoulders.
    Trust, well that's is sure a tough one. I was like that, and I still am. There are walls upon walls, so that some people get thru to a certain point and then that's it, no further.
    I lost all my friends.
    But I tell you one thing, when people are around me, they are comfortable, there's no bad vibes. So I have a lot of mates, but not friends.
    I reckon it takes time, you're a "freshie" so it will take a while to adjust to being oh so popular one minute and scum of the earth the next.
    This is a good place, with good people who have been down the same path as all of us.

  • LDH
    LDH

    Jason

    ck your email.

    Lisa

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Hi Reborn2002

    It's hard for me to feel good naturally when I am raised in a society that teaches me that it is stupid to be educated, that it is sinful to question, that it is okay for history to be rewritten and denied, that offers both teachings and practices that do not match, that sees poverty as the ideal, that planning to not plan is a plan, that hate is love, where trust is unheard of, and where the masses aspire to the mediocre.

    I have to take one little piece of my life and build that, then take another. I have to question the blood medical treatment guidelines and make a rational decision what I will do in the event I need treatment.

    I need to get the education that will give me the life I desire. I need to develop a healthy support system including friends and mentors.

    Maybe I need professional counseling and possible medical treatment. I need to learn to be skeptical and I need to learn to trust.

    gb

  • Adonai438
    Adonai438

    Hi Jason!
    I'm sorry you're feeling down and things aren't great right now. I care & am praying for you. We are all here to talk and just be your friends. I guess that's little comfort when we can't get together in person. Just know people care- I care-- and things will look better. It's hard to feel alone but you're really not --
    email for chatting or if you have AOL instant messenger you can talk with me when I'm online (That goes for anyone else too ):
    screen name:
    AngieGrasonCaleb

    God bless, Jason ,
    <>< Angie

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    (((((((jason)))))))))

    I fully empathise with how you feel, as it's pretty much happened to me. Losing all your "friends", being made to feel lower than a dog's dinner for bringing "reproach" on your family, etc etc.

    My email is open if you wish to talk. But never think you're alone, because you're not the first 3rd gen JW to leave the "truth". Plenty of others like us have too.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hey there reborn

    I think the internet is a great tool...you live so far away yet you can have such good friendships with people. From what I've read on your life so far...it seems as though you have a lot in common with a lot who post on here. I can relate to your loss of friends after you left the truth....we all can I'm sure. We have left a lot of loved ones behind...and they are all mourning us leaving...BUT...its time for you to start living now.

    You are in that transition period...where you are new to the outside and all that awaits you...the discoveries...and the awakenings to new things. It will be so unusual for you...and you won't know where you are or what is the right thing to do. Once you are settled with life on the outside..things start to sort themselves out...and thats when you realise what real life is all about.

    Keep your chin up...and bear with it...things can only get better for you from now. You have all of us...and a new beginning!!

    Beck

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