Caedes: Good article. My suggestions are merely stylistic and given with the knowledge you are a more effective communicator than me in mind.
1)
- Some paragraphs argue or state something (correctly ofcourse), but are prefixed with a throat-clearing or appeal to the reader which i find somewhat distracting. Examples:
"As you will have noticed, in the second ." - "Of course, in reality, there is absolutely nothing harmful about children .."
- "Without doubt, Lesson 2 and Caleb’s courting of divine .." (and other). I think removing some of these opening sentences make the main point stand out clearer.
2) I think some of the language could be toned down a bit. i think its a very usefull movie to show how the WTS want their followers to argue a case: magic bad, jehovah sad, jehovah sad with adam and eve, see what happends when jehovah is sad, you are literally in the same situation as adam and eve, do you want to end up like that? and you you nail that critisism. But you also attach a lot of statements to the video which i think is hard to argue are strictly true, and at least would be better the reader arrive at himself. For instance with some of the titles. (eg. Hatred Without Reason. strictly speaking its more like good old emotional blackmail and paranoia).
I think of it this way: You expose the video for using over-the-top scare tactics. The worst outcome would be for the reader to think you are doing some of the same.
