by Mr Facts 18 Replies latest jw experiences
Do you feel occassionally sad when you flash back at your life as a JW, may be you occassionally become overshadowed by regrets and bitter feelings and not knowing exactly what caused it.
Some regretted wasted life while others regretted being trapped in what they feel was a cult. Do you experience anything similar. How do you usually surmon up courage to stand up and forge ahead?. Please share.
I do think about it but at the same time I try not to dwell on the past too much.
I could dwell on the jobs I lost because of the prejudice.
I could dwell on the scripted denial of any input I would have put in to WT debates.
I could dwell on the slogans, 'we must have exacting knowledge'...(!) that periodically changed.
I could dwell on the in house rules about dress. 100Degrees and brothers wearing coats. winter and sisters told not to wear ankle lenght dresses as it was 'worldly'. while the 'dragon' class wrapped them selves in football blankets.
I could dwell on the fine young people talked out of real trainee technical jobs to 'pioneer' and saw that last only months with the same young ones ending up in laboring jobs and subsequently bitter and dfd.
I could dwell on the made up words that were not in any dictionary that would appear in WT studies, revealing an appaling absence of education by the author and publisher.
I could dwell on the witness homes I have entered and not seen a single childs book, or any book any newspaper magazine save that printed by the wt.
I could dwell on the appaling ignorance of young ones in such cult nests. Not permitted any youthful hobbies either.Nor sports. nor anything.
I could dwell on those getting married and asking...me... about some fairly fundamental physical aspects of such a union and filled with very wrong information as well.
I could dwell on young sisters terrified of birth because of the 'sin' of eve and all the 'birth horror' stories promoted in wt books etc shared with out thought by sisters; and born out of thier own ignorance.
I could dwell on the crime it is 'in-the-truth-' to be different.
Others live that life but . . . . that is the journey they are on. If they wish to upgrade their thinking they still can.
I could dwell on ... so many things.. but my life is crowded with love for all I meet, things I do that are creative and being a useful citizen in my town and being positive.
I just feel mad as hell they act the way they do and sad I wanted to believe them but they are a,holes.
Thank you, Mr. Facts, for starting this thread. I especially appreciated zeb's take on what the cult has done to its members. I suppose for me I could dwell on the lost opportunities and wasted lives that I saw. But I also have to admit that there were many good things that also came my way because of my association with Jehovah's Witnesses. Most of those good things were in the way of the friendships made which shaped my life in a very positive way as well as the knowledge and skills I gained that I might not have otherwise.
Now I am out and free. I am learning a great deal about myself that I never would have known had I remained in the cult. Yes, I wish I had known these things years ago and I sometimes think about what might have been. But for me the most important lesson that I have learned since my departure is to "live and let live" because that has allowed me to "love and be loved".
It has been only two years since I made the decision to never set foot inside a Kingdom Hall again. My life has changed radically in that time, and all for the better. I can learn from my past and use that knowledge to benefit myself and others now. I also believe that there are a few of my former associates who are yearning to be free themselves. I hope that I'll be able to assist them when the time comes to do so.
I suppose the words of Henry David Thoreau in Walden sum up my attitude best now. He wrote, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." There is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses who would not beneift from understanding this basic truth that Thoreau put forth so clearly.
Quendi
Thank you, Mr Facts, for starting this thread and, Quendi, for alerting me to it.
I just now returned from a large gathering of dear friends and family. Little ones I met over 30 years ago are now grown and raising families of their own. That I no longer worship with them is unknown to them as we have so many congregations here and it's assumed (if even thought about) I attend a congregation other than the one they attend. They still regard me as Brother CoCo, thanking me for the love and encouragement they say I offered them during times of trial.
I love them so much yet am disconnected from them on a spiritual level. I am home now, cherishing the brief time spent with them, knowing I may never see many of them again for years, if at all ...
CoCo,I understand your position,most of my home congregation does not know I'm inactive,plus some family. It's difficult not being able to freely be yourself.
As far as my feelings,it does get me down,I would be lying if I said it didn't. It's too late for catch-up. I'm just trying to make the best of it,and have a truly authentic life,living the "real" one now.
Beautifully expressed, EmptyInside!
Thanks much.
CoCo
I was in for over twenty years and ended up with my life in shreds. No education-quit HS to pioneer in 1974; the end was near. Married at a young age and watched as that marraige crumbled due to immaturity. Left as a part=time father to that marriage's child. I finally walked away and began to rebuild/ build a life. When i look back and find sadness I remember the words of scripture. "Forgetting the things behind I pursue the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Jesus has taken my brokenness upon himself and given me a joyous, abundant life. I gave up on the WTBTS but never gave up on Jesus Christ.
Hey lumper! Same here, on giving up on WTBTS but not Jesus. Greetings & blessings, Fernando.
