Skeeter1 - you mentioned that my son could be sick of having this little girl over my place. It may be one of the reasons too. thank you for pointing it out. I will talk with my son and find out. For now all he is saying is that he didn't mean to hurt her.
Friends, where have I gone wrong as a mother?
by umadevi 32 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
UMADEVI- I'm terribly sorry that you experienced this with your son. Even though he had never done this kind of violent behavior before, do NOT minimize it - next time if this happens his playmate may not be so fortunate as this girl was - to not get hurt. You mentioned his father wasn't violent . That doesn't have anything to do with it, in my opinion. I feel your son is showing outward signs of anger towards the neglect he's received from his father, and that anger can play out in violent ways with time. By your sons comments he is definitely angry towards his father for this neglect - yet perhaps taking that anger out towards other people.
You say that " seeing a counselor sounds good but I feel it's unecessary since this is the first time he's acted this way " . O.K. But it may not be the last time he acts out in this way unless he gets professional counseling to find out what's causing this extreme anger from a trained psychiatrist. Would you rather wait until he inflicts physical pain on a playmate before you get him help ?
I'm just being upfront here to help you think. I once dated a single mother whose youngest son, about your sons age had anger management problems over his mom's divorce. His dad didn't see him much either. One time he threw a brat attack because he didn't get what he wanted - and he was holding his mom's little jack Russell terrier dog in his hands. Because he was angry he took this small dog and slammed it really hard on the kitchen floor from 4 feet up. The dog yelped and all his mom did in disciplining him was say , " Now, now Nathan, don't do that , you'll hurt the doggie ! " Then she let him go on his way to go throw more anger attacks towards his older siblings. No " go to your room " , nothing.
Point I'm making if you don't nip this situation in the bud right now , by the time your son reaches adulthood at 18, it will be too late. I raised 3 children myself who are now 27, 25, and 24. Take the time to help him now and he will have the chance to understand himself and his own emotions and others as well . Ignore it now and you'll both suffer the consequences. I wish you the best. You are a good mother , you just need to really amp up your paying of attention to the importance of the situation. Show your son you care, get him some help. Holding a knife to a girls throat is NOT normal behavior for a 9 yr.old. Something more serious is brewing underneath, find out what it is. Hang in there
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sizemik
umadevi . . . your response to the event has been first class. You have no reason to doubt or blame yourself.
It is good to see his Father stepping up . . . hopefully he will show some contrition for his role (or lack of it) and not simply tick him off. It would also be nice to think it could be the start of greater involvement and communication with your son . . . I'm certain he would benefit from that.
If you follow through, I'm sure this will become a faded memory and your son will grow into a fine young man.
All the best.