Well you want to believe you were loved, but the more as time goes by, and you get reminded everyday that you were used for distribution purposes,
it becomes pretty evident that there was no love there, only brainwashing and love-bombing.. You might have a few people in that organization that really liked you for you, but thats far few and
inbetween. When youre gone for about a good year, you really see people for who they really are.