Help! I'm having serious thoughts about going back

by lola28 81 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  usualusername

  Lola you have a PM again.
  
  x
  
  UUN
• 

  lola28

  I will reply to emails tonight, I'm at work now and it's hard to reply to all pm's.
• 

  mind blown

  Lost my dog to cancer.

  Losing my mom to Alzheimers

  Had to fight a court battle to keep my mother out of an institution that wanted to swindle her money.

  Losing my child to the WTS

  Lost my beloved apt. due to a crooked new building owner

  A very close family member break down

  Lost my boss to a murder

  Loss of work due to all of the above

  Had my first car accident with new car.

  And I still think the WTS is as EVIL AS EVER from my research......
• 

  factfinder

  Lola,

  I am sorry to hear about the death of your Mom and the other bad things that happenned to you the past year. It has been a horrible time for you.

  I just want to mention:

  My dear, wonderful Mom died 12 years ago. I was still a faithful, very active jw at the time and my jw brother was serving as an elser and regular pioneer.

  Yet, our dear Mom died.

  Your Mom did not die BECAUSE you left the meetings.

  There has been so much good advice presented to you here and I agree with most of the posts.

  Going back to the hall will not take you back in time to before these horrible things happenned to you, as was mentioned by Billy.

  I think you will be subject to even more stress and anxiety if you try living as a witness again, knowing the TATT.

  And if Jehovah WAS punishing you for leaving ( and that is NOT the case) why would you want to serve such a hateful, spiteful god as he would be if he did these things to you?

  I wanted you to know I feel bad for you and I hope all the good advice that has been presented to you will help you feel some comfort and free yourself of the pressure to go back to something you found out was wrong and left.

  And yes, I have had those feelings too, but I realize going back is not the right thing to do.

  Take care Lola

  factfinder
• 

  Greybeard

  Yes you should go back! We all should as a matter of fact! Didn't you know that JW's never die of Cancer? They never get hit by a car... The never have professional setbacks... and their relationships last forever!

  Uhhhhhh wait a dog-gon-minute... Thats after the big A when we all have our pet lion.

  It's ok lol, we were all raised to be superstitious

  I hate to admite it but if I get startled at night I will still yell out "JEHOVAH" to scare away the demons I have been deathly afraid of all my life.
• 

  Morbidzbaby

  I'm so sorry for all that's happened to you.

  I will say that, although it seems like you had a support group when you were a JW, it was under false pretenses. I hope you can see that. Their love and affection is conditional. You may be loved bombed when you first walk back into a Kingdom Hall, but how long does it last before it dies out completely?

  Bad things happen to good people, no matter their religion, belief system, or lack of belief. It's just a part of life. A support system can be formed from anywhere. This site itself is full of good people who have been to hell and back with this cult and are there for others as much as they possibly can. I see you've gotten a bunch of PM's, and no doubt these people have tried to be very encouraging to you. You will not find that kind of unconditional love and support from the JW's.

  As was mentioned, look at this as an opportunity to start over. No matter your age, it's never too late. You had a long relationship that just ended...so take that time to re-evaluate you and your life and what you might want from a prospective partner. Have a relationship with YOU first. Moving on can be a very positive thing if you look at it in the right light.

  I'm sorry you lost your mom. As was mentioned, that had nothing to do with you being in or out of the JW's. Illness and death happen, we lose people we love. It sucks, but it's the way life is. Being shackled to a cult doesn't change that.

  Accidents happen. I'm glad you're okay, but please don't feel like this was some sort of divine retribution for you leaving the JW's. And if it were, why would you want to serve such a jerk of a god anyway? One who gives free will and then when you exercise it, he punishes you for it because your free will led you to make a choice different than what he wanted you to... It makes no sense.

  You always have support here...from all of us. Even being far away, a kind word and a listening ear can help so very much.
• 

  wasblind

  MindBlown

  And yet you keep on keepin' on

  climbin' the rough side of the mountain , tryin' to make it though

  to a better day. And each obstacle you overcome is most

  certainly a good day
• 

  notjustyet

  If you go back your new list will look like the following:

  • Lost my mom to cancer
  • got hit by a car
  • had a professional set back that will cost over 600k to resolve
  • Ended a three and a half year relationship
  • Decided to Rejoin a High Control Group AKA Cult after finding out the truth about their lies and how they have ruined lives for over a century.
• 

  NewChapter

  The very first year I was baptized---

  My mother got cancer and died. (she was only 45)

  My marriage ended.

  I was diagnosed with an illness that was not going away, and I still struggle with.

  I was completely devastated financialy, and it took years to get right again.

  My point is, I had similar things happen to me as happened to you---the difference---I had just got baptized and you have just left. Do you REALLY think going back would help? I don't think so---you just need some support. You've had a rough year.

  NC
• 

  d

  You will overcome this. The Jw's will not help you in your time of need only true friends and family can. We have been in similar situations but going back will not serve to make your problems better.