Help! I'm having serious thoughts about going back

by lola28 81 Replies latest jw friends

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  Lozhasleft

  I can relate to your feelings, being in the 'truth' surrounded us with the illusion that we had a strong circle of friends around us to cope with the difficult times...we never had to think about finding support for ourselves. Sadly though, it really was an illusion, they are conditional friendships which simply placate one another on cue. Real life brings hardships and troubles and grief, it sounds like you've had your share lately and I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't let circumstances lead you back to that false sense of security. Fight on without the WTBS, you'll be thankful you did eventually.

  Loz x
• 

  flipper

  As one poster mentioned Lola - you won't have REAL friends inside the JW organization. They'll be " conditional " based on how you perform inside the congregation with their " functions " like turning in field service time, raising your hand at meetings and commenting, attending meetings regularly, giving all your Theocratic ministry talk assignments. Only then will you be loved . Not for WHO you are as a decent person - but for wHAT you can accomplish as " functions " inside the congregation. Think about it.

  We are here for you unconditionally as your friend to assist you . You've had great advice so far from all these wonderful folks ! We'll always be here for you no matter what your decision is. You won't get that offer from the Witnesses. Hang in there
• 

  Fernando

  The price tag attached to membership of the Watchtower's supremacist and apostate community and its conditional "love" is astronomical...

  The downside exceeds the benefits by far...
• 

  rebel8

  Imagine these 2 scenarios. Maybe this will help you choose a course of action.
  
  SCENARIO 1
  lola28 to jwn friends: I'm considering changing my religion.
  
  jwn friends: Hugs, we're here for you, sympathy, caring, do whatever you feel is right.
  
  SCENARIO 2
  lola28 to jw friends: I'm considering changing my religion.
  
  jw friends: Horror, fear, marked for bad association, partial shunning.

  Also, I feel we need a bracelet: WWSD? What would Sparlock do?
• 

  00DAD

  You've had a lot of tragedy in your life lately. I feel for you.

  Please don't return to the abusive relationship knows as JWs! Don't do it.
• 

  Quentin

  "Sometimes you're the winsdhield, sometimes you're the bug"....Cofty

  Lola, you have been given good insightfull advice by other posters. Cofty's comment sums it up nicely. Remember, whatever you decide YOU WILLNOT BE ABANDONED BY THOSE ON THIS BOARD. Lost my mother to cancer twenty years ago, my father to a heart condition. I miss them very much.

  I left the wtbts cult in 1974. Having been a jw for over twenty years did not prepare me for life outside the religon. I learned along the way. Hopefuly you will make a logical decsion, not one based on emotion.
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  MrFreeze

  I'm sorry for the trouble you've had to deal with over the last year but going back would only add to your problems.
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  NVR2L8

  During my most active period as a JW I lost my dad and 5 of my closest friends within a 5 year period. The company I worked for close our division and lost a 6-figure job after over 25 years of service...The comfort I got from the congregation was "suck it up" and keep busy in service so you won't have time to feel sorry for yourself...don't you believe in the resurection? Everyday morning on my way to a new job that Jehovah blessed me with I was hoping to get killed in a car accident so I wouldn't have to live another day in pain...where was the big Armagedon when you need it? Then when I was told that the generation was really generationsssss, I left the cult. My life is far from being perfect, but the freedom has made every new day worth living. There is no situation that would ever make me want to go back under the control of such a cult.
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  mynameislame

  I do agree with everyone that those experiences are not because you left.
  If there was a cause other than coincidence, then it is more likely that your experiences as a JW prevented you from learning when and how to take risks and who to trust. Letting someone else do the thinking for you doesn't usually have good results.
  
  But from the other side of the coin, my attempt to go back is what finally helped me make the decision to never go back. I have a friend who, last time I talked to her, had resigned herself to dying at Armageddon. I'm glad I don't have to live with something like that over my head. You now have a different perspective and expectations so you will be able to see things as they are rather than as the JWs tell you they are. So even if you go back I don't think you will stay for long.
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  blondie

  I was inactive twice before and went back, the first time I was still a believer and thought if I were a better Christian things would improve, it did not. Eventually this led to my second bout and I came back a nonbeliever in the WTS but could not find a belief system that was better. Ten years later, I left again and I will never go back. I finally saw that the "sins" of the WTS were with full knowledge they were lying, that the people in the local congregation deliberately lied and were cruel, all with the bible concept, "Jehovah has left the land and he is not seeing." I see it like how abused women act, they stay and take the punishment thinking they have no one, fear the abuser, and have no confidence in their abilities. All the lies and cruelty are still there, not being around it makes us have a selective memory. Trust your memories, trust your ability to thrive outside the WTS.