by Balaamsass2 24 Replies latest jw experiences
Very good point that you made regarding the fact that real friends do not have to do think in exact agreement with one another!
That is one of the main differences between Witness friendships and normal friendships.
Witnesses expect uniformity. And there is no allowance for individuality....
When you were 'advised' to cut off all your prior aquaintences it was so everything in your life could be controlled without you being able to have any outside support.
Everything with Witnesses is conditional. And that condition is based on outward appearances of blind obedience and constant fear. Fear of Satan everywhere, fear of never doing "enough", or fear of that one misstep leading to you in that infamous picture from the old Paradise Lost/Regained book. It's a 24/7 mental Inquisition. Throw off that burdensome yoke of fear men keep spoon feeding you. It is of no benefit to you or anyone else.
Go live your life in the here and now. Go do some truly good stuff for others and also yourself.
"What will I do if I leave Jehovah's Witnesses?"
Boy, that takes me back.
I remember asking myself that very question, pretty much word for word, as I considered fading.
It was an amazing feeling when I realized the answer was "the sky's the limit".
I learned t.t.a.t.t. on 4/6. What I would do on Sunday is what I did today: I slept in for the first time in yrs. I looked up scriptures without a WT in my hand. Talked to my non JW friend. Also my reality includes: Losing my other friendships. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep quiet about t.t.a.t.t. if I talk to them. An inactive sister I've been talking to won't leave. She's warned me not to talk about the stuff I found on the net. I'm thinking she may turn me in for what I've read this month and talked about... All her family and grandkids are still in! I'm in fade mode... I opened a Facebook acct under the name I use here. I alternate between fear and relief. Anyone know if this lasts? My heads spinning! But I have a clear conscience.
@ Lurette Liberte - Welcome, and do some serious searches on this site for topics & advice before you open your mouth any more to Witnesses!
Take this warning seriously - you cannot trust any Witnesses close to you as you learn TTATT.
If you don't care what happens to your family relationships, blab away to everyone. Sooner rather than later, you'll get the call from the big bad wolf!
Without a doubt, it can be an emotional roller coaster.
For most JWs, the Cong is their only social network, thus if you leave the Cong/Org you lose all your "friends" (since you always avoided making "worldly" friendships). You suddenly find a huge void in your life and esp social schedule.
Doc
Nice comment BA2.
It is the "best of times and the worst of times" as mentioned. But it gets better and better as you get stronger and stronger in your own self worth.
The exJW community is just the best. I communicate in the very least weekly with many, of course Facebook makes that easy to keep in touch. We still meet up when we can.
I have a best friend who just left JW 6 mths ago. While her mate goes to the meeting we plan an adventure. We were going to a museum a few weeks ago, then I thought, let me contact an exJW family I know nearby and maybe they can meet us for a bite. Well they wanted to and we did...never made it to the museum and talked for 5 hours. She came home and said "I can't believe I talked for 5 hours to people I never met before."
I can't emphasize enough how healing it is to meet your fellow exJW's. Come to Tahoe!! We have cookies and champagne! (BA2 and 3rdgen ) Just made my hotel reservation...need to work out the details.
According to the WTS, you'll do drugs, be immoral and will almost certainly die in a hail of gunfire after attending a night-club.
More realistically, you'll discover you have a life!
You'll wonder why you have so much free time to spend with your family or other things you enjoy doing.
You can learn new skills, try new hobbies, meet new people and make new friends.
Eventually all the WTS experiences will seem like a distant dream and some days you'll wake up and start to wonder if you really imagined it all.
At some point you may make a choice between whether to obsess about the lost years and become bitter and determined to seek revenge ... of you'll decide that was just a phase in your life and you grew and moved on..
Oh, and you may sign up at JWD and share your story to help others in the same process you've been through.
