VIII,
My JW father was severely abusive, both physically and emotinally. He threatened to pull me out of high school so he could supervise me. His conduct towards me was such that a professional agency suggested that I leave home at any cost. My mom was so loving. She would do anything for me - except protect me. She asked me if he made advances, at the behest of the agency. It was so matter of fact. If he had (and he did not b/c he did not have a chance yet), she would have done nothing. I asked th eprincipal for an appt b/c I knew I Had to go to a foster home. My father died before the appt. I would have to go to court and leave my family completely behind.
I dreamed of graduating from college, marrying, and having a child. My plan was to sneak my baby into see my mon without anyone knwoing. She would die for me. Yet the culture had her strangled. For many decades, she refused to accept her role. Towards the end of her life, she apologized sincerely. She said it was so unnecessary and remarked how bad she was. She had already committed so many acts of atonement. Her transformation was complete.
It is hard to live with knowing your daring mother will not protect you. She grew after he died. What a sick culture.