Any of the ladies here on Plentyoffish.com dating website?
Just interested and curious in seeing some exjw's.
username "fiat123"
what's yours?
Plentyoffish
by sspo 24 Replies latest social relationships
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Icancnow
That is a great site. Getting married in 9 days and that is how we met.
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Terry
I was on the site for about three months and, when used properly, can be a great way to meet new people.
I started off the wrong way. I went too slowly.
It took me a month to figure out how to use the site properly.
The whole point of being on the site is to actually get to the point where you can figure out if you want to spend quality time with somebody.
So, why waste a bunch of precious time with chats, messaging, texts and e-mailing?
So, here is what I did. I'd call the other person as quickly as they'd offer their phone contact
Then, I'd say the following.
"I have to approach this as though I'm going to meet the most important person in my life. Why should I risk NOT connecting by going out on some
lame hit and run coffee date at Starbucks? I want to take you out on a real date to the best place we can come up with and spend a quality evening
finding out who we are and what we might have in common. So, let's do this right, okay?"
It's only when you treat people special that you meet people special.
This communicates to the other person you want somebody special and you're not some play around cheapskate.
It worked!
I met somebody right away that had the fine qualities that make a relationship worth being in.
We connected and I took my profile off POF.
When I was dating I always asked the ladies for their horror stories because I had a few of my own. It clued me to how many time-wasting dates were
possible if you didn't do it right.
Good luck
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FlyingHighNow
So, why waste a bunch of precious time with chats, messaging, texts and e-mailing?
For us women, it would give time to see red flags and screen out incompatible people and crazies.
Someone talked me into making a profile on a dare. I made it with the word Friendship very prominent though, because I don't like dating for recreation and I'm not hellbent on finding a long term relationship. I'm not against one, but I don't have to have one to be content.
I think IM's and e-mail are a great start because they force you to have conversations, which you might not get if you rush into meeting and dating and heavy romance. You find out things in a few conversations that it might take you years to find out otherwise. They also are a good clue to whether you have similar communication styles. My two best relationships, with very compatible men have started that way. Neither one of them came from a dating site. I never met up with anyone from POF or any other dating site.
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Broken Promises
A guy who wanted to rush into a r'ship based on a profile on a dating website would immediately raise red flags for me.
It's usually best to take things slowly. Yes, even start with meeting at Starbucks for coffee and then build up to a "date at somewhere special".
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moshe
I want to take you out on a real date to the best place we can come up --
Terry, did you ask her to go shoot some clay pigeons with you?
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moshe
Back in the olden days when people used print or phone advs, I remember how I used to cull out the prospective dates by asking them-
can you cross your legs when you are sitting down? "Average build", descriptions usually mean - "in my family everyone carries an extra 100 lbs"
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HintOfLime
For us women, it would give time to see red flags and screen out incompatible people and crazies.
Given enough time, everyone is incompatable and crazy.
Instead of tediously looking for red-flags - something you don't like - why not look for something you do like and grow the relationship off of that?
- Lime
