by ronweasley 20 Replies latest social relationships
Think of the positives, you're 20, single, out the WTS.
There are plenty of really nice girls out there just waiting to be asked out. Take your time, forget all this twaddle about getting married like a regular JW does.
And another thing you can do, use larger font, some of oldies don't have the eyesight we had at 20, along with many other things......
George
Dating is tough. While I tend to think it was wrong to sleep with another guy while she is in a relationship with you, it doesn't seem clear that she thought she was in a relationship.
Well I confessed my feelings for her earlier in December and she claimed she feels the same way, but we agreed that we have very different values and that it couldn’t possibly work out. Well, next week we had an argument about something silly and she then said she only told me she feels the same way to spare my feelings.
Thatsounds like she might have thought you were just friends after that point. Either way, move on from this. Learn from it. Only buy expensive gifts if you have disposable income or are very clearly in an established exclusive relationship.
Sorry to hear your troubles. Welcome to the forum. This one is the most active one out there for former JW's.
I think she thought you were in friend territory at this recent juncture. I think she is your friend and likes you as such (but she is lacking in manners!). She might also be a bit obtuse. Move on, you have it all ahead of you!
A lot of folks don't even think about marriage and commitment at such a young age. It's a lot different in 'real life'. She's probably still playing the field, and, let's face it, not mature enough to commit.
Enjoy your freedom! I know you are hurt now, but there are more adventures ahead. :))
Welcome to the board.
xo
tal
Though I now from experience the pain you are in, maybe looking at it from another perspective might help you get over it?
In a way you are lucky that she met this other guy now, therefore revealing the reality of her character and level of devotion to you.
So, imagine things had gone as you wished, you ot married, got a mortgage on a house, had a kid or two, then she meets this other guy, leaves you, kicks you out the house, though you have to keep paying the mortgage and paying for the kids you cannot see, whilst this other fella reaps your fruitage.
And whilst all this is going on, a really nice girl, who you hadnt yet met, one who would have wanted you above any other, and that would have been faithfull to you, you never would have got together with, as you where allready attched.
But now, you are free of the one who has proven shes not the one for you, leaving you free to meet the one who is right for you!
Attraction is so powerfull, and Love is so blind, I hardly know a man who is glad he married the girl he felt as strongly about as you feel for this girl.
Hey Ron welcome,
My two cents as a woman, if she liked you you would know, sounds like a lot of games that could result in heartache, Move on, put your energies on more positive things that will refresh you not drain you, your still young so get out there and enjoy all the things this planet has to offer. x
Welcome rw!
She's special to you because she sort of helped you through a tough time, learning the truth about the truth. Although 20 is old enough to settle down and get married, I would strongly encourage you to enjoy your independence and really get to know YOURSELF better and what you really want from your life.
Don't beat yourself up over the ending of this romance, this is all about learning and growing. You're gonna be just fine.
THere are sometimes people we meet who are with you for a season or a reason; but not for life. It's not to dimiinish them, but it's just how it is.
Stay in touch with her.
Skeeter
Listen to the relationship advice from the guy whose handle is a phallic shaped fruit. Being rejected by a female for another male provokes an evolutionary response. You either suck it up and make excuses, becoming a lesser male, or you get angry, channeling that energy into bettering yourself, gaining confidence in the process, to become more of an alpha male. If you follow the lesser path, you'll always be insecure, and trying to convince girls why they should be with you instead of someone else. If you take the alpha path, you will be self-confident, and they will be drawn to you instead.
Thank you all, especially
Your advice is very helpful. I have kept to the same outlook of challenging things head on and its actually working and I'm on a roll. I'm doing better at my job at work, beating my best friend at computer games (which I used to suck at). Failiure just isn't an option for me anymore..I hate losing!
Anyway Natalyia has been in touch with me since all this kicked off, and would you believe it, she went bowling with ANOTHER guy from the party. But as it turns out she did thank me for the present, and she has continued to ask me to come meet her (which I havn't done).
Sadly though, it's not all been a happy recovery. I am struggling to sleep and having minor difficulties breathing. But thank you for the support, it will all very much pay off soon.
Ron
