What happened to politeness?

by Seeker 101 Replies latest jw friends

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  Amazing

  Seeker: I once asked myself what I would do were ai perfectly free to do so ... such as having a millions dollars ... what would I do differently ... and thre were few things, but one of them was to tell a few people how I feel about them. Why I felt I needed money, I am not sure any more - somehow I connected financial freedom with freedom to speak. Mostly, I am not sure why I felt I needed to feed energy to telling someone off - except a very few.

  Maybe some on chat and bulletin boards have a new found freedom, and at times, they puch the envelop, and abuse that freedom ... forgetting that they need not stike out at everyone, because of the few who have hurt them in life ...

  Just above, Valintine (Tina) chose to make remarks about others ... and if those people read what she said, they may feel the need to retaliate ... and the cycle goes on ... like Palestinians and Israelis ... one bomb begets another in return ... and no one ever feels that the onus shuold be on them to take the first step to stop the cycle of character attacks.

  Specific Example of Tina's remarks:

  "In my asking for help thread, see refiners fool who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to kick someone when they're down. That will answer your question."

  Why does she say this? It only continues the cycle. That is what really happens.

  "Of course he shares that inhumanity w/pricka larc and ma. but thats ok. They don't even realize the respect they lost among many here." T

  "Inhumanity" of Prisca and Larc? I don't know who 'ma' is. How have these people been inhumane? And why call Prisca by a term that is a slur? If only continues the cycle.

  Then she sums it up with inflammatory remark about them losing respect on this board. How have they lost respect? Who has lost such respect? Why?

  When such unspecific allegations are made without any evidence ... just slurs and Dis ... then the cycle is not going to stop, unless each everyone decides to let it stop ...

  I use Tina's words here because they are evidence, and on your thread ... and serve perfectly the root of the problem many have ... they attack character and not issues. When that happens ... it is no longer discussion ... but simply another form of war ... a war where all logic goes out the window.
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  think41self

  Amazing,

  The main gist of your post is correct....the wars keep going because no one is willing to let it go.

  Tina said what she did in reference to what was said to her on another thread where she was depressed and asking for help...a lot of people here read that and are perfectly aware of what she's referring to. Prisca, Refiners Fire and MadApostate(ma) attacked her on that thread.

  Now, has Tina attacked them before? Yes. I'm not choosing sides here. I'm just saying it will go on and on unless someone is willing to let it die. Refiners Fire said he was willing to let it slide(altho he didn't really let it slide because he called attention to it ) but he didn't retaliate in kind. It would be nice if more could do that. But then, we don't live in a perfect world, but it's nice to see when people rise above things and move on.

  think41self

  If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!
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  Prisca

  For the record Think4, I was not attacking Tina in that thread she posted, I was merely offering her some much-needed advice.

  You might also note that I refrained from retaliating to her insults on page 1 of this thread.
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  think41self

  Prisca,

  I think Tina has said some pretty nasty things to you in the past, and you have retaliated in kind. Hey, I've done it myself, I'm not attacking you for that. It's human nature.

  But for the record, in my opinion you were attacking her in that thread. I don't know why you have a hard time admitting that. Just be honest with your anger once in a while, I think you'll find it refreshing. To quote you, you said:
  Re: I need you tonight my friends,Please Feb 26, 2002 03:50

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  Please explain how I have been "heartless"? And what is wrong with suggesting that Tina gets some real life help? After all, we live in a REAL world, with REAL people. I honestly think it's time that Tina got some REAL help with dealing with her first husband's death. After all, it happened 20-odd years ago, did it not? If she is as knowledgeable about mental health as she makes out, then she'd have the sense to go and get some counselling to help her deal with it.

  To anyone who has been following the ongoing war, it's pretty hard to take that any other way. It's certainly not the way you approach others who have cried out for help. As a matter of fact Prisca, I think you are very kind hearted, and I have seen you reach out to help many. I admire that about you. Keep it up. But when someone does piss you off, or attacks you...just come right out and let them know it. Trust me, it feels great.

  think41self

  If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!
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  Prisca

  Think4, why didn't you quote the first two posts I made in that thread, rather than take my comments out of context?

  I realise that you are stating your opinion, but as the author of the comments made to Tina in that thread, I am stating that you have come to the wrong conclusion.

  Even if two people are "at war", it does not mean that one of them can offer a helping hand to the other once in a while. Even the Germans and Allies stopped their fighting on Christmas Day and shared in activities together.

  As for being honest with my anger, I am in touch with my feelings, thank you very much. And if you think that offering a needy person some much-needed advice is "attacking", then you havn't seen me in action yet, my girl!
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  think41self

  Prisca, why don't you quote them? I know you know how. You didn't say to Tina...wow that's terrible that you're still suffering from this tragedy, have you tried some professional help for that? No, as already quoted, but with bold highlights this time:

  Please explain how I have been "heartless"? And what is wrong with suggesting that Tina gets some real life help? After all, we live in a REAL world, with REAL people. I honestly think it's time that Tina got some REAL help with dealing with her first husband's death. After all, it happened 20-odd years ago, did it not? If she is as knowledgeable about mental health as she makes out, then she'd have the sense to go and get some counselling to help her deal with it.

  Now compare this to how you responded to a similar cry for help from Reborn on another thread.
  

  Re: Kind of Depressed, Looking for Someone to T... Feb 28, 2002 21:22

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  (((((((jason)))))))))
  I fully empathise with how you feel, as it's pretty much happened to me. Losing all your "friends", being made to feel lower than a dog's dinner for bringing "reproach" on your family, etc etc.

  My email is open if you wish to talk. But never think you're alone, because you're not the first 3rd gen JW to leave the "truth". Plenty of others like us have too.

  Quite a different tone, don't you think?

  Now here is Tina's heartfelt plea, with some bolding on my part...
  

  This danny pearl thing has brought home memories of murder to me(my 1st husband) please,please.......just say you care right now-nothing else.......please.I'm having a real emotional night...I had no one before.............T

  And you only made one post prior to the one I already quoted, not two....and here it is:
  

  Where's Danny and Rocky, in all of this?
  Wouldn't it be better for Tina to get some real-life help?

  Not exactly the same loving kindness you have exhibited to others, as I've said. So your words are not taken out of context. The meaning is clear to see. Sorry, but I still don't see any real honesty shining through about your feelings.

  think41self

  If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!
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  larc

  Hi Tina,

  Well, since you brought up my name, I feel compeled to respond. When you were down and out I recommended two things, go back and read your own words and get therapy if you need it. So as a result, I am a bad ass and later on another thread, the Roe thread, you told me to go fuck myself. Now, Tina that is not polite, garbage mouth. Also, you and mommy dark nearly drove Hillery out of here, not very polite either and a clear case of misdiagnosis on your part. Yeh, you apologized to him later, but how many other people have you driven off by your foul mouthed, unprofessional, unethical, and ill conceived diagnoses. Your value here diminishes with each passing day.

  To bring up my name on the subject of politeness is peculuar, because you are the least polite person I have met here.

  Hey Tina, wanna play some more???
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  Prisca

  Think4,

  We might as well agree to disagree, cos this discussion is going nowhere.

  My concern for Tina is valid. I was concerned why she wasn't getting any help from her current husband and family. To ask for help online is rather sad.
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  gravedancer

  When will this childish shit stop?

  Bunch of fucking babies!!!!!
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  SixofNine

  *aghast* WELL! You don't have to be rude!