Missing family dearly

by Freeof1914 15 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  Fernando

  Hey Freeof1914!

  Many here on JWN have recovered from making the mistake we were warned about:

  (Psalm 146:3) . . .Do not put YOUR trust in nobles, Nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs.

  Recovery is a process, not an event. A good Psychologist (not Psychiatrist) is worth far more than the cost. PTSD therapies such as CBT, psychotherapy (talking medicine) and EMDRAA are particularly useful.

  If possible one may wish to avoid unnecessary or hasty use of addictive psychiatric drugs (which some Psychologists may try to pressure you into taking, due to pressure from their supervising Psychiatrist).

  During high stress periods a lot of benefit can be had from frequent moderate exercise, and getting enough fruit, veg, and hydration, and only eating/drinking junk once a week.

  As others have said looking after yourself, and recovering from WBTS abuse, can be the best revenge.
• 

  neverscreamagain

  Greetings Freeof1914,

  Our situations are similar in so many ways. About a year and a half ago I just could not stand for any more of the nonsense. My son was DF for about a year and I had been closely monitoring his status, talking with him regularly, watching him become more distant and depressed, to where I actually feared for his life. I reached out to him and we came to the same views as to the unscriptural, pharisaical, criminal dealings that comprise being in the Watchtower.

  In doing this I had to sacrifice the love of my life, my dear wife. She chose to be a faithful JW. In the climate of last year's witchhunt mentality, unquestioning obedience to god's earthly organization, the cry against "mentally diseased apostates", she chose to abandon our family and our marriage of almost 30 years.

  The best thing to come out of this so far is that I am growing closer to my son as never before, without the dysfunctional influence of the borg. But I so miss my wife, and daily I second guess about what I could have done different, or what magical line of reasoning I could have said to help her to see the malevalence that is this evil cult. I truly hate these bastards that have done so much damage to people's lives and their families.

  It is not easy I know, because after seeing clearly the lies and clear deceptions, you know that you would have to give up a piece of yourself, the part which makes you a truly moral person to go back and live a lie for the sake of your own well being.

  Hang in there, and take each day as it comes. Know that others have been where you are at, and there is a lot of support to be found on this forum.

  neverscreamagain
• 

  jamiebowers

  I'm sorry you're hurting, but it will get better. A word to the wise, though. If you have children and they are minors, you have every right to see them on a regular basis or even have joint custody. I know of many ex and exiting jws that don't feel worthy of raising their children. If this is your situation, please don't make that mistake.

  And as far as your wife leaving is concerned...she's never going to be good for you unless she changes her brainwashed state. Look man, I'm sure you didn't stop being a jw so you could become a Hell's Angel. She has to know that there are things about the WT that bother your conscience. If that's not good enough for her, then she's not good enough for you. The same goes for parents, siblings and any other family members.
• 

  nugget

  This is the worst time when the dust is settling and everything is a bad as it gets. I am sorry it is hard to lose those we love and although we hope our family will be different they rarely are, especially now with all the articles on shunning. Being on your own for now is actually a good thing, you need time to heal yourself mentally and to recover a degree of balance. You are now free to make your own choices in life and make friends with people based on how much you like them rather than on the basis of a shared belief.

  Things move forward at their own pace. We are social beings we need friends but although 7 million people have rejected us we have billions of people who are our potential friends. Outside the world is a much richer and friendlier place.
• 

  rebel8

  This is the hard part. It gets better.

  Grief and Relapse Prevention for Ex-Cultists
• 

  00DAD

  Freeof1914, hang in there. It gets better.

  But there is not question that it's hard. It's been three years that I've been out and I still miss my family and friends (well, just SOME of the friends). But I realize now that it is THEIR choice not mine. (Although it could be argued that the choice was made by the GB and the evil WT "Theology" ... but you know what I mean).

  In time you'll make new friends and discover that they love and care for you for who you are and not because you believe the same phone bullcrap.

  You have to be true to your self. Setting the example of being strong just might encourage others to leave too.

  It really is criminal the way the WT holds our families hostage.

  Hang in there!

  00DAD