What the hell was I thinking?! Stupid me!!

freshstart

So my husband and I have a son who will be 2 years old next month and I really wanted him to be socialized more. Ever since we stopped going to meetings, we have been pretty much shunned even though there has never been an "official" reason for it (DF, DA..). I am terribly introverted, so it's difficult for me to get out there and talk to people but our son is a people-person and I wanted him to have more peers to be around. So in my twisted reasoning I thought "let me just take him to the Hall and get him around the kids there." Need I say more? I went for like 3 Sundays in a row and the whole thing has gotten me so bitter again, I just can't fully describe it. Stupid me for thinking that I could give him a social outlet there. Already the kids in the local hall have learned to avoid me because their parents do the same damn thing, which means that my son also has to pay the price for their cultish attitude toward me. My son is the sweetest kid you could know and he's being treated like shit. And the nonsense being spewed during the Watchtower study...ugh! I really wanted to slap the hell out of myself! Needless to say, I got the hell outta there and told my husband what was going on and he just shook his head in disappointment. I'm happy that he stood his ground and refused to go with me, because he would have probably been hounded by the elders if he had gone. So anyway, shame on me for ever thinking that there was a glimmer of hope with the Witnesses to treat my son with the dignity and respect that he deserves. I could kick myself for wasting three Sundays, but what's done is done so now I just have to find some kids for him to be around. I have a good mind to take him to one of these church festivals they have here most weekends, but I don't know....Do I really want to even get into that? Another religious atmosphere? Any suggestions or thoughts? And in case I haven't made my point...I WISH I COULD SLAP MYSELF FOR BEING SO STUPID!

cofty

freshstart - you were trying to do a good thing for your son, don't beat yourself up.

Going to a church will offer lots of social opportunities but it also comes with a cost in terms of the need to conform and group think. Some have found churches like Universalists that are much more free and open.

How about sport? Is it ok to ask what age he is? I actually started a local football club for my son just before we finally left. It is a great way to meet others and for parents to mix as well. I met most of my friends through football. It will boost his self confidence and teach him about teamwork and how to win and lose graciously. Why not try out a few local clubs and see where he has talent. Team sports are best for social interaction but individual sports still give him chances to meet others and thrive in lots of ways.

freshstart

Thanks cofty. I just hate wasted time and energy. He'll be 2 next month. I was thinking about taking him to this parent-toddler gymnastics club they have locally, but I'm pregnant so there wouldn't be much that I could handle physically so I don't know about that one. Guess I'll have to keep thinking about what to do.

Bobbi

You are a great mom for wanting what's best for your son!!!

Where we live there are tons of community based activities to go to. If you can't find anything online or anyone to call for information, next time you're in a children's store ask the cashier or approach another parent. Generally I find other parents more than happy to help. I know it sounds scary to ask strangers but it is a lot easier than going in service and the more you do it the better.

Bobbi

Cinciguy74

freshstart, good for you for trying to do what is best, don't beat yourself up.

My wife took all of our children to music classes when they were little. There is a program called Kindermusic which starts as young as two and is more about rhythm and just enjoying some music. Plus it is interactive with the parents and kids. My kids loved it, and my wife was even able to do it when she was pregnant.

Plus, she got to meet a bunch of non-JW parents. Because it is community based, these ended up being a lot of the same parents we later met at Kindergarten, and many of the same kids. So my kids always started school knowing a couple of the other children in the class.

wasblind

Hello freshstart,

Don't fret none, maybe you can enroll your child into a preschool

Preferably one thats not religious based

they may try to indoctrinate you in some way.

Also you have a lot to look foreward too, not only for your child but yourself as well

when your child starts, Kindergarten . that's when his social life will really begin

yours will improve also.

You will get to know the mothers of the other children, through in by volunteering at school

and through the invite of parties

Also, you can join the PTSA, your child can join the scouts, t-ball

Trust, when he starts kindergarten, your plate will be exciting and very full

And if you choose, without, the confines of a religion

Again, you have so much to look forward to, life is GOOD, when you no

longer try to live up to someone elses expectations

respectful_observer

Given your current limitations on physical activity, I'd recommend finding a "Learn to Swim" class for little kids.

A. It's low-impact and easy on you.

B. There will be lots of other kids there his age.

C. He gets to learn to swim, which is a great skill and a HUGE protection for any small child.

outsmartthesystem

"Stupid me for thinking that I could give him a social outlet there. "

Not to be mean....but.....I'd have to agree. JWs are among the most socially inept groups in the entire world. Taking a child to their KH for a chance to learn social skills is like taking them to an elders meeting to learn critical thinking skills

outsmartthesystem

But I agree with the others. You are trying to be a good parent. There are a TON of other ways to let your child socialize. If that's the worst mistake you ever make.....well.....consider yourself lucky!

mouthy

Well being the granny I am ..I am going to tell you right off the bat. You have done the greatest thing
for your SON!!!! by finding out BEFORE his head got handed on the chopping block to the WT garbage..
I cant believe you would want your lad to behave as the captured minds of the wt behave.
Take him to parks( playgrounds) he will meet other kids there, once he goes to kindergarten he will meet other buddies. PLEASE for pete's sake DONT ever get the ways of the WT. LOVE is what you have to show him.
Yes I understand you thought you were doing HIM a favor BUT it would have been the cruelest thing you could have put him through/. I KNOW because I did it to my kids( 1 daughter,& grandkids still there) My daughter that died had a horrible life while she was a young one in the WT.( MY DOING)I still feel guilty, kids made fun of her at school from 5 to 15 yrs old because of her teachings> No birthdays, no suluting the flag, no praying in school, long skirts,( when minis were in) Come on girl ,Pray about it all . But no more thinking in that area PLEASE for GODS sake

Mouthy

What the hell was I thinking?! Stupid me!!

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