Help for a father of two young JW's

by never a jw 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  never a jw

  Hi everyone,

  I have never been a JW, but my wife, two brothers and their wives and children are. Also, most of my wife's brothers and sisters are JW's. Since I have a close relationship with both my family and my wife's family you can deduce that most of my friends and associations are with JW's. Never had a problem with these associations, even though I always thought the leadership and the doctrines of JW's were very much in the loonie side. However, recently everything changed when my sixteen year old daughter announced to me that she wanted to get baptized in one of their recent district assemblies. Being the type of father that allows some latitude to his children to make their own decisions, I reluctantly (and stupidly) consented to allow her to baptize. The following day I started my research to confirm why I felt that JW's leadership were loonies. After several weeks of search I discovered enough to make me deeply regret not having conducted my research years ago and prevent my daughter’s baptism.

  I also have a 12 year old son who has not decided to baptize yet but is already a JW at heart (12 years of indoctrination couldn't lead to any other result). Needless to say, I need to rescue my son, even my daughter, from the mind controlling organization of JW's. They, my son and daughter, are two very bright kids, and saddens me deeply to know that their talented brains are already under the control of the WTS.

  I have already bought Apocalypse Delayed by James Penton, both books of Ray Franz and The Gentile Times Reconsidered of Carl Olof Jonsson. Great books, especially COJ's book, It is unfortunate that I can't find the other book of COJ anywhere unless I get it used for as much as three times the price of the new book in Commentary Press. Unfortunately it is sold out. Do you have any advice as to how I can go about undoing the brainwashing of my children and how to get The Signs by COJ?

  Thanks in advance for all your comments that can give me hope to rescue my children.
• 

  Aussie Oz

  Hi

  it can be scary when you realize you have to rescue and reverse stuff. Been there and done that and doing well at it.

  I have sent you a PM, click the envelope top right corner, you will get an error message, hit back and or refresh to open the message.

  oz
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  DesirousOfChange

  I think the best approach would be to begin to show an interest in the religion for yourself. Insist that you do it as a family. All other JW families are supposed to be having a weekly "Family Worship Night". At any point it should be easy to get into the "Last Days" and why it is so URGENT now to preach preach preach.

  What is so urgent? What suggests we are in the Last Days?

  Their ultimate proof is their "Seven Times" doctrine that indicates that 2520 years from 607BC when Jerusalem was (not) destroyed points to 1914CE and the "beginning" of the Last Days. JWFACTS has ample info on that issue. It could be a tough issue to approach as, frankly, most JWs don't even understand the doctrine themselves. Very doubtful that your kids will.

  Any info you find from JWFacts or from here would be best as though it was coming from a friend at work or someone other than these "apostate" sites that are spreading lies about JWs.

  Do your homework. It's going to take a lot of work to undo 12 or 16 years of brainwashing.

  Share your results and/or questions here. Many here have already lived the nightmare. Don't go after it with "both barrels" -- then, in their eyes, you're working for Satan and become their own personal persecution.

  Doc
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  Black Sheep

  You are not the only one with this problem. I'm pasting this reply from a thread I answered a couple of weeks ago http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/227894/1/I-taught-my-kids-too-well-Help....

  Teach your kids critical thinking skills. Advice to wait until they 'grow out of it' is very naive and doesn't take into account the power of the programming the kids have been subjected to by you and the bOrg.

  Your kids need to know when they are being scammed, or lied to, by anybody, including you and your wife. They need to be able to work out, for themselves, that they were raised in a cult. You can't tell them that because you are Satan's minion and they will not only not believe you, but you will drive them deeper into the cult, chanting "Get behind me Satan!" to themselves.

  Start here...

  
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  Witness My Fury

  Setting a house "rule" of 18 as a minimum age for this type of decision is a very reasonable request to make and buys time for them to hopefully grow a bit and ask questions in the meantime. Worth a try.

  In other words you are not saying NO, you are asking for a delay. (hoping in the meantime they can learn to think and change their minds about it all)
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  Black Sheep

  Setting a house "rule" of 18 as a minimum age for this type of decision is a very reasonable request to make...

  To a non-cult member, it sounds reasonable. These kids are cult members. Laying down the rules just fulfills the cult leader's 'prediction' of Satan using family members to lead them into destruction.
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  AnneB

  Make your daughter independent of the Witnesses: encourage her to go to college or university, to train for a career, to make life choices for herself that do not involve WT. I realize this may be difficult now that she has decided to join the organization, but she's young, and being part of a "divided" family may be a saving grace, she can "blame" you if any JW objects! :)

  Desensitize: find ways to speak about disfellowshipping as though it were a "normal" part of living, teach her that at some point individuals will clash, and the result may be that those with power (not authority!) try to cause unbearable shame in efforts to control the life of another. Remind her that no human is her judge, that when (not if, but when) it happens to her, that she should stand firm (a WT expression), never relinquish control of her life to another human, and that you will support her no matter what anyone thinks, says, or does to mar her reputation. If you start now, while she is only 16, your daughter may not feel as alone as Elders will want her to feel if she should happen to be scrutinized in the future.

  Additionally, if you have the wherewithal, make it clear to her and to any others that under no circumstances will you allow your daughter to be "counseled" without you being present, and that includes judicial matters. This is your legal right since she is not of age to be considered a legal adult. If you've been reading this board for any length of time you may already know of the horror stories, the intimidation, the extremely intimate and personal questions that are often and inappropriately asked during these sessions. Make no mistake; there is no such thing as an unintentional session; if a JW gets called in to talk with the brothers there will be intimidation and manipulation, no matter what the issue or how removed from it she may be. Train your daughter to say that she must get permission from her father before she is allowed to meet in closed session. (That one makes sense in a non-JW situation as well.)

  If possible, slowly build the notion that being involved with JW's is an open-exit choice, that just as she made the choice to join, she can make the choice to leave whenever she finds that her views and theirs are no longer compatible. Don't let WT be the only one "indoctrinating" her on that point! The main message here is that she directs her life, that you are there to assist her until she reaches full maturity, and that there is no shame in trying out various options then letting them go when she finds they no longer fit.

  The best hope you have is that she is still young and has lots of changes left to go through. The goal here is to let her know, in advance, that you are there to love and support her as she learns to stand on her own two feet. If she has that fixed in the back of her mind I doubt that she will put up with WT for the long haul.

  Best wishes,

  AnneB
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  Witness My Fury

  My brother who is a ministerial servant has set exactly that house rule for his own teenage children, no baptism before 18.

  Also as the man, in JW land you are technically "head of the house" and they have to go by your rules.
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  Black Sheep

  Your brother is a member of the cult, not a Worldly. That makes a helluva difference.
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  Anony Mous

  @Witness My Fury:

  They do not have to follow his rules if it interferes with their worship. There is a clause in the JW-books that removes all religious decision powers from the parents into the hands of the JW leadership.