Why get "personal" when discussing a topic? (page 11)

Farkel

still thinking,

: Well...there you go...one persons constructive comment is another persons unbelievably horrible. I'm guessing that how people perceived your thread.

Neither sentence is really a sentence. Keep thinking.

Farkel

What a bunch of piss-ant cry babies. I've been called worse names by better people than this; and smarter people, too.

Quit whining and no one will call you on it.

Farkel

I'm not saying you are combative, I said some people(anywhere in this world) are surely you agree on this,or can see this to some extent, and to be honest I'm such a slow typer by the time I have sent something off its 3 odd pages up the road. I can't even cut and paste (opening arms for ridicule)

If it seem s as though I am critisizing others its actully the actions not the person, I'm sorry if you thought otherwise, there's a few threads like this going on at the moment there must be some truth in it if old and new posters are in agreeince.

Also in regard to jumping in on things well...I know you MAY scoff but I feel at this point in time other than my own personal experiences in life I have nothing to offer, I'm not well read to ALL the subjects on here, and feel like most of the time I would be a hindrance more than a help to others. I also think we can just keep fanning the flames which seems pointless.

I understand what you say about your past REALLY I do, you were brought up in a violent home which suxs majorly,it leaves scars. l I was brought up in a home where you did not dare question anything, you were told what to do and when to do, and the one thing/emotion I can say I took out of all my childhood was a deep shame that somehow I was not worthy enough to contribute to jack shit. Do you know I sooo wanted to post my story on here(would of taken a week to write it) but I did'nt because it felt like I would be told I was full of shit, and to put some of the deeply personal things I WANTED to share up for shredding by others put me off. I'm not saying we all have to pat each other on the back and not question anything truly I'm not, its just some enviroments promote honesty of thought and intent rather than provacation of an individual. We all know when we are pushing someone's buttons,

Its not about boo hoo poor me, although it was for along time, its just and please try to understand me on this, we can get our points across without reducing others to rubble. That last paragraph about the venon etc was uncalled for, I apologize, I read BOTR's thread and felt frustrated that yet another well liked poster was questioning there existance on their site,-what ever people thought of AGUEST she had as much right as anyone to be here, personally I think some of the vivd color on this international mural has dulled in her absence, but she left because of the insults, she said herself she was 'brokenhearted' we can both understand that.

Anyway I've got to go I'm heading out am already late due to slow as keyboard skills, I can do a 12 course degustation for 500, yet can't find my way round a keyboard Kay Sara.

Take it easy ST and have a good night over there in good ol Aoteoroa, I miss the paua. (sigh)

Ammo

x

tec

Perhaps you might type slow, Ammo... but your words are well worth the read. You have some potent things to say, and I think that it is great that you have put yourself out there and spoken up on this matter (and others), and have shared some of what a newcomer sees on this board, as well as how this affects them. I think it would do us all good to think about that... and to understand just how many are turned off, turned away, or unwilling to come out of lurk-mode for fear of shredding/bashing/mocking/attack.

This place can be so great and so supportive and so varied in its opinions, faiths, cultures, geography, perspectives... it can be such a breath of fresh air from the stagnant and rigid environment most have escaped from. No one should feel as if they are unwelcome here; or that their view on life is somehow worth less than others or that they are undeserving of being treated with respect.

Peace to you and thank you for speaking!

tammy

still thinking

still thinking,

:Well...there you go...one persons constructive comment is another persons unbelievably horrible. I'm guessing that how people perceived your thread.

Neither sentence is really a sentence. Keep thinking.

Farkel

What is your point?

still thinking

No worries ammo...glad you have decided to share your thoughts with us on this forum.

By the way, when I first started posting on this forum, I was a believer, I am fully aware of what it is like to be on that side of the debate. That back and forth debate has impacted my life considerably. It may seem pointless to some who do not want or need it, (I do not want or need american political debates but acknowlegde that others do). But for those who do...it is available and invaluable. I do feel for tec sometimes because others who believe do not step into the conversation with her, and support each other. The odd thumbs up or you are doing well really isn't the same as people joining in the discussion and sharing their ideas. And to be honest, it just looks like a cheerleading squad to me.

I agree Aguest has as much right as anyone to be here...she chose to go. We all make our own choices...and quite frankly she could give as good as she got...sometimes the responses to her were reactions to things she would say. She was very controversial.

If you feel you want to post your life story then go ahead...many do. And I have not seen many, if any, being pulled apart in the way you are saying. I have shared some very personal things on this forum and recieved a lot of support.

talesin

Terry, this

That is not only said--it is entirely unnecessary.

Isn't that the goal of a Bully?

ammo, this

It sucks reading that people like talsin are hesitant to start threads, she's been here 9 odd years WTF is up with that, how long does it take to feel ok about starting a thread on your thoughts/ideas/beliefs here.

Or do you just have to have a venomous rotten to the core mindset, where proving yourself right, and bludgeoning the life out of another human being is more satisfying than any other road that could be taken.

Thanks, peeps, for your thoughtful comments.

It's not that I feel bullied, or uncomfortable. I just find the bickering and presentation of bullshit as fact, tiresome and boring. If I want to have a real, thoughtful discussion or debate, there are other places to have it.

I also find that the way some posters tend to ridicule and mock others (keyboard cowboys) really pushes my buttons, even if it's not directed at me. So, I usually stay out of "debates". Verbal jousting, with no intention of coming to a common concensus, is rather pointless, imho. I do see the value to those who may be lurking/reading, but it's mentally exhausting. :D

Yes, I used to have that JW attitude that I always had to be right, but I've learned to be flexible, and listen to an opposing argument (when it has merit and thought put into it). I'm rigid when it comes to child molestation, partner abuse, homophobia, and admit to being opinionated at times, but do have an open mind. And yes, I am quite capable of 'bludgeoning' someone verbally (especially in writing!), but I no longer feel the need to convince other people I am right, just for the sake of being right.

The last time I started a topic and someone attacked it out of pure malice (it was a poster I had never even HEARD OF), I lost my cool and told them in very nasty terms that they had no business coming on a perfectly innocuous thread and trying to ruin it. Do I need that aggravation in a place where I come to relax, help others, learn, and have a bit of fun? No.

sooner -- thanks bro!

talesin

BOTR -- I saw you attacked not too long ago, and it pissed me off so much, I couldn't refrain from bitching that person out then and there. So disrespectful! grrrr You are an amazing person, who has a lot of wisdom and life experience to share. Don't EVER let someone like that make you feel inadequate.

tal

talesin

ammo, indeed! Bashing rarely occurs when people are telling their story, though. Please, when you feel comfortable, share with us.

:))

tal

THE GLADIATOR

Well talesin I just looked at the post you refered to and remember the exchange at the beginning. It's an example of allowing someone to get to you rather than just ignoring their comment. On that thread I made a post that seems to apply to this thread, so I have put it here and added to it.

I started posting in my own name. I used to get into some heavy debates in those days and found that some people became abusive when they were called to account. When you post in your real name insults feels more personal. I felt that by posting as a gladiator in armour I could bang heads together and blame my alter ego. As it happens I have found that arguing, debating is often a waste of time, so I tend to use the gladiator as a figure of fun.

Perhaps more of us that rarely start threads should do so. It may help to stop the increasing dominance by threads that amount to nothing more than preaching; followed by the predictable counter arguments which generally become abusive. It would be good to see more threads that aim to help lurking Jehovah's Witnesses who are struggling to stay in the organization but don't know what to do next. Threads that offer a warm welcome and help to people experiencing what we went through years ago.

Salute

Why get "personal" when discussing a topic?

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