Let's talk about the worst articles from the WT for young people (YPA articles and others).

by Chemical Emotions 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  "I've got women getting in beatch-fights to get with me, clamoring for my Kingly touch!"

  Lucky you. I once had two women fight to see who would get me... One got me in the arm, the other got me in the eye.

  "I like glasses."

  Jesus never sanctioned the wearing of glasses. There should be a YPA "What's Wrong with Glasses?" I'm sure they could come up with a quote from Andre... "when I wore glasses, I could easily see 'camel toe' and nipples. Spectacles were Satan's tool to stimulate unclean desires in my pants. Since I stopped wearing glasses, I've gotten in several car accidents and accidentally walked off a cliff once, but the sacrifice has been worth it. Jesus' counsel to pluck out our eye if it is making us stumble has saved my life spiritually, even though I'm now legally blind and am risking my life physically at every moment... like when the telephone rang, but I mistakenly answered a hot iron and severely burned the side of my face."
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  NewChapter

  Better to tear out your eyes . . .
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Poor Andre
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  King Solomon

  Billy sed:

  like when the telephone rang, but I mistakenly answered a hot iron and severely burned the side of my face."

  Hmmm, I'm afraid your case is a bit too challenging for YHWH, but Catholics DO offer something for those who need extra-strength assistance (St. Jude Thaddeus, the patron saint of lost causes). Because after that, you're into the territory of selling your soul to "you-know-who".
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  Chemical Emotions

  I like glasses too. Well, I like my BF in glasses. :)

  Billy, HOW the heck are you so funny?!

  The closest I've ever come to giving myself oral was licking my stomach. I'm not very flexable. :(

  But I woulda LOVED a nice long list of no-nos: Don't wear snug bras, they may rub against your nipples and cause arousal...