How do you work through the Anger (page 2)

leavingwt

Not allowing yourself to be emotionally abused is not the same as cutting your parents off. You're can cut them off in the sense that they are presently incapable of having a healthy, mature relationship with their child. The blame is all theirs. Ending a toxic relationship is sometimes necessary.

You can still have a measure of hope, while you take steps to prevent any further emotional abuse.

Unless you are taking positive steps to have meaninful interactions with them, using Hassan's techniques (or some other method), you can expect them to go to their graves being JWs. The natural course of events is for them to retain their JW beliefs and worldview.

Found Sheep

Sorry for your pain and anger Jworld! I like how you said mourn the living. When my dad got DF'ed 15 years ago or so that is how I felt. I felt like he died. To quote myself back then "It's worse then death because the dead get resurected, they are in Jehovah's hands. My dad is in his own hands with no help"

Kinda sick to think that way. Well my brother is still in and has nothing to do with me. He was the reason it took me so long to leave leave.... It just takes time and some times you have no choice but to be upset. I am happier now and I will be there for him if he ever wants out. I think that's all I can do. I write on this forum and get help Love you all

When we move to a more poulated place I plan on getting some therapy. It's been almost four years and I think I could use some help getting over the next hill....

FS

hey were did the avitars go? Or is it me we are in a storm computer slow?

00DAD

jworld, thanks for the link to the NY Times article. I liked the point you quoted:

"Likewise, the assumption that parents are predisposed to love their children unconditionally and protect them from harm is not universally true."

I have come up with an axiomatic corollary to this statement which I often repeat to myself as an ex-JW mantra:

If it's conditional, it ain't love.

Gotta' agree with what leavingwt wrote:

Not allowing yourself to be emotionally abused is not the same as cutting your parents off.

LWT, as I like to call him, has shared many helpful suggestions and bits of advice with me. I don't always LIKE what he has to say, but he's usually right and it's generally exactly what I need to hear at that particular moment.

00DAD

On another note, here are a few other things I do to work through the anger:

I have a counselor I talk to about how I can best deal with my emotions. He doesn't have all the answers but he is a trained professional (unlike the janitor elders) with an un-biased point-of-view.
Additionally I do two other things: My wife and I recently began practicing Tai Chi for relaxation and stress reduction, and on alternate days I work out with weights and practice a MMA style workout with a heavy bag to work out my aggressions. I know they seem like contrary ways of dealing with things, but it seems to help.

Your mileage may vary!

00DAD

Glander

I can only say that after observing a lot of these kinds of situations, I would advise you to go back and re-read everything cult classic said above. It is the bottom line. Do not let their crap drag you down without resistance.

mind blown

jworld, though it doesn't feel like it, I'm positive your parents love you very much

The GB has given them a twisted sense of love. I'm sure your parents think they are doing this for your own good.....like it's taught in the faulty WT.

I had been feeling that my daughter really didn't love me too, in fact maybe hated me. But truth be known, when she has spoken to me to check in....I can see she really does love me....she's caught in a rock and a hard place which the GB has put her in.

That's why I can't wait for the day the GB gets fullly exposed for the imposters they are And now I have more anger towards them, then anything....but that too I have to watch because anger and hate can consume one for the bad....

For me personally, I feel it's better to leave it be. I'm just driving her further away making her justify and defend the WTS. I think they call it persecution

I have backed off and live my own life...it still hard at times, but gets easier......

outsmartthesystem

It all comes down to how you personally handle it. For instance, I know of ex witnesses that are shunned by their immediate family. While the shunning does hurt these ones....it is important that they keep extending themselves to their witness family.....more or less to show them who is truly showing the "christ like personality".

Then there are others that are absolutely crushed when their immediate family rejects them. It makes them angry and hurt and it affects their everyday lives.......it even affects their relationships with others.

You sound like the latter as opposed to the former. If I were you, I'd quit extending yourself to them as it only makes your life worse.

I hate this goddam divisive fucking cult.

Sorry......but situations like yours really tend to bring that out in me.

THE GLADIATOR

FlyingHighNow "I've heard it said that depression is anger turned inward. And I believe that anger can be depression and anxiety turned outwards. "

So very true. Whatever way we find to cope, it takes time, sometimes many years.

In the end you reach a point where you are able to detach yourself from what was the present but has become the past.

rebel8

How? I let go of the myth that shared genes mean anything.

Also you can smirk to yourself at the "cooling off of natural affection".

irondork

You are fighting this shunning thing on two fronts. You are no longer a JW and you are gay. Sometimes I feel those are two entirely different battles I fight with those people. I often wonder what would happen if they discovered TTATT but still shunned me because I'm gay.

I'm curious, jworld, what makes you more angry?

I don't know the answer to your question. It is such an enormous wrong that is being perpetrated on two fronts. It's overwhelming at times and the anger is justified. But it will eat you up.

Usually I just go into robot mode and when I come out of it, more time has passed.

I guess I got nothing to offer.

How do you work through the Anger

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