another closet apostate

by outsmartthesystem 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    Just thought I'd share. A friend of mine moved away about 10 years ago. He was a MS at the time. He more or less fell away from going to the kingdom hall. Then 3 years ago, he moved back. He goes to about 1 meeting per week. We never really hung out very much after his return. He is almost a generation (real one....not overlapping) older than me and his kids are raised. But one day he invited me to lunch. At lunch he flat out asked a question. He heard through the witness grapevine that I am a borderline apostate and I am getting a divorce. I told him the first part is true but not the second part. He then proceeded to open the flood gates of doubts and criticisms of the Watchtower society. He lacks the desire to do real research and to be honest.....he is still a little bit afraid to. He admits that it is an indoctrinational fear inside him but he is having trouble getting past it. He has no choice but to fade because his father and mother are lifetime witnesses.....with his dad just having been removed from his position as COBE due to health reasons.

    And now the good part. We've had many conversations since then. He was absolutely shocked when I showed him....from the WT's own publications.....how many times they've quoted out of context, used elipses improperly, used misleading statistics etc. He was literally stunned. So there's the advice I have to give. If you are successful in convincing a JW to do ANY research....you have to find a way to get them to read something other than society publications (as if most of you didn't know that already). Even with all of his complaints and criticisms of the WT......he still trusted that the information provided was accurate and factual. For him....at least.....the reality set in when he realized that the books and publications he thought were factual were really nothing more than Orwellian thought control devices.

  • watson
    watson

    Good post. There are many out there like him.

    Invite him to lurk here at JWN.

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    I agree that there are many like him. I am one of them, still going to meetings, service, etc. while understanding the fallacy of the whole JW system. I wouldn't wish this method on anyone as it is extremely psychologically damaging. Encourage him to come on here and realize that he is not crazy, the wt org is.

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades

    xb, why do you still go to meetings and how long have you been mentally checked out of the org?

  • Emery
    Emery

    I am also in that boat. I have successfully awakened 2 persons from my hall that were on the edge already, however both of their fathers are elders so they can't do much until they move out. I am actually working on 2 others, but I go about it in a different way. I am fortunately somewhat popular with the friends of my age group (21-25) from the spiritually weak to the self-righteous zealots. My approach works best when the gossip starts, and we all know how every JW tends to feed on gossip. I allow the friends to let loose, feel comfortable, vent, and complain all they want. It tends to work with my age group as many are young and do get reproved or spoken badly of because of past mistakes. When the oppression and injustice is at its highest, they tend to be more receptive to what the bible actually says and the critical examination of the WTS. You can show them that they don't have to deal with it anymore and that the faithful slave, elders, and organization doesn't have to be answered to, only Jehovah God through Jesus Christ.

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    rather be,

    I mentally checked out 10 yrs ago when Barbara Anderson and Bill Bowen exposed how the WTS shielded disgusting pedophiles. That was the brick that broke down the wall for me. I still go because my entire family is in.. elders, CO's, Bethelites, etc. In addition my wife's entire family is in.. elders, ms's, special pioneers, etc.

    I am not saying its easy, it isnt ,but for now until I can leave with her I stay in.

  • Aware!
    Aware!

    Wow, Emery. I can't do much until I move out, and it's a scary thought, but I'm still glad I awakened.

  • Aware!
    Aware!

    XBEHERE: I don't know how you do it. Hang in there!

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    ALL of my family members who are in on some level understand that it MAY BE (or IS) a lie, but their handcuffs are not contructed of the same materials: some wear guilded, velvet-lined handcuffs, whereas others wear a standard-issue cold steel variety. They've all done a cost vs benefit analysis (I know: I probed them on the point, without flat-out saying it as such), and feel the other benefits of association with the group outweigh any concerns about the actual "Truthfulness" of "the Truth".

    I've had one relative who thanked me profusely for the external validation I offered that their doubts were NOT some defect in themselves (i.e. the shortcoming was not THEIR fault, but that of not complying with the arbitrary JW group mind-set). However, this individual still hasn't managed to find the strength in themselves to lead their own life (and probably never will: they are baptized and married to a JW, with a vast network of relatives on both sides of the family that would abandon them if they were DFed).

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    It's a very, very big closet.

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