This is harder than I thought...

by SophieG 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  SophieG

  Ok....I am trying to go inactive to fade. However all my family is in, except for one relative. I cannot move away. I see them all the time... love them lots. But now that I am awake and I know TTAT, the lingo is driving me nuts.

  Imagine me in a room with a hardcore JW family and this is what I hear:

  "The slave says...blah-bla-blah..."
  (In my head: You mean the 7 old men that create policies that control your life...they are not getting messages from Jah.If they are they have been getting them wrong wrong wrong)
  
  "The end is right around the corner"
  (In my head (screaming): REALLY!!!! It's been "around the corner" for 100 years!!!!)

  "Jehovah provides!"
  (In my head: No! You needed something...you asked for it...you put things in motion and you got it. I stopped asking Jehovah for stuff a long time ago. I just decided what I wanted and went after it. I can show you how it works. SIGH! )

  "You know, it's just Satan...)
  (In my head: No. Bad things happen to all people. You are NOT SPECIAL!!!)

  ....on and on and on.

  I honestly feel like calling a family meeting, and explaining to them, just like how JWs get folks to walk away from their form of worship to come to the WTBS...so I am walking away from this. People walk away from their religions all the time. It's a personal choice. It should not be a big deal.

  Of course I know this meeting will wreck havoc, blow up in my face and a bunch of people will be yelling at me and my mom will faint.

  I love them all so MUCH!!! It's just so hard when you don't believe anymore to sit and listen to the madness.
• 

  THE GLADIATOR

  You are in an impossible place. Leaving always causes pain, often for many years. Even so, you have to be true to yourself, you have your whole life ahead - and it is your life. Direct confrontation is not always the best way forward. Your family may cope better if they accept your choices a little at a time. Hope things work out for you.
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  Diest

  You need to just start saving money, and seeking out outside frienships.
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  SophieG

  Thanks Gladiator.

  It seems so logical, that if the situation is no longer working for you, you should be able walk away. AND your choice, whether or not understood should be respected.

  I see the control and the peer pressure...I just want to live my life, whether or not the agree with it!
• 

  outsmartthesystem

  "But now that I am awake and I know TTAT, the lingo is driving me nuts."

  Amen to that. It drives me nuts to even be around people (witnesses) I used to get along with. Their organization worship makes me want to puke.
• 

  garyneal

  You are in a bad predicament but if you really wish to bring this up to your family, perhaps you can show them an article that appeared in the July 2009 Awake article "Is It Wrong To Change Your Religion?".
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  SophieG

  Hey Deist, the making friends outside of JWs has actually never been a problem for me LOL!!!...your can check out my first post as a newbie:
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/229523/1/Newbie

  I just have an AWESOME family. We are a pretty balanced group for JWs. I mean some of us speak occasionally to a DFd family member. I think I am going to have to follow the lead of a relative that left...while they moved away, I can't, but I think maybe over time as I speak about my life minus the usual JW speak they may get it. I know I will be OUT OF TOWN for the next set of assemblies....HA!

  It's just when I hang around them and the start that JW talk, I want to SCREAM!!!!!LOL

  I come here to vent...bear with me!
• 

  SophieG

  You are in a bad predicament but if you really wish to bring this up to your family, perhaps you can show them an article that appeared in the July 2009 Awake article "Is It Wrong To Change Your Religion?".

  OOOOH GARY!!! YES! Thank you!
• 

  tresdecu

  Sophie G...I know, torture right!? Once you know TTATT, JW speak can make you crazy...especially if you're in a situation where you have to nod along. Mugaty sumps it up for me:

  
• 

  The Oracle

  Hi Sophie,

  You need a plan.

  You don't have to leave alone if you don't want to. For many people that is the easiest way for them to do it - just to fade out on their own.

  For others, it works out better if you can take out a few family members or close friends with you. It all depends on your circumstances.

  If for YOU - the best way to exit is to do it WITH a few family members (it sounds like this may be the case, if you love them much and you are that close to them) then as I said - you need a plan and your wish will come true. It doesn't matter how die hard the JW is - somewhere underneath the surface is a brain. You just need to reach it.

  This will take patience. And it takes determination, and strong will. It's easy to blow it if you are not careful.

  The key is to get your family to wake up on their own. The direct approach does not work. It has to be subtle. They need to come to their own conclusions, but you can facilitate this. Those who are captives to a high control group do not come out easily - but they do come out. You and I, and hundreds of thousands of others are testinomy to the fact that you can escape.

  PM me if you want more specific help.

  Have a great day!

  The Oracle