Thats what my soon to be exhusband just said to me. I finally after 25 years of dealing with him and the JWs and a litany of other shit, told him two weeks ago I want out. He wrote me a letter this week and made a list of allllll the things he hates: about my beliefs, the fact that I left Jehovah, broke my vows to God, my hobbies, celebrations, what I watch on tv, my parenting, keeping the kids out of the jws, not having any friends....and then said well I dont hate "you". And then he gave me a Watchtower about saving marriages saying he found it and saw it as a sign he should try to save the marriage. Ummmmwhat??? He said all of the above made me "hard to love" and I should understand that and that his defending and supporting those who shun me might make it hard to love HIM but hey....how about continuing the marriage?? Then yesterday he announced to me that he thought I was talking to a man on the phone...and sounded disappointed that I wasnt. Are you looking he said? I said um no...we arent even divorced yet. He said well....I dont plan on staying single long but then that will be up to what you do.
Then he said...Ive been talking to a sister...about two weeks now. She isnt free to remarry. Her husband left her and she doesnt know anymore if she would take him back if he tried to come back. We dont FLIRT or anything but we talk about marriages and stuff. I actually met her about three years ago when you left the first time." He also admitted that his JW sister was trying to set him up with other women even BEFORE I said I wanted out! What the fuck!
When I confronted him this morning about how in hell he justified talking about such intimate things while still married, with a SISTER, he rolled his eyes at me and said "Youre the one who is DIVORCING ME dont forget!" And walked out!
I think this little tet a tet has been going on a VERY LONG TIME. He didnt just arbitrarily pick someone out of the congregation the day I said I wanted a divorce two weeks ago and start having such intimate converstaions with her. Particularly since he has all but abandoned me in this marriage...no dinners, no talking, no respect, no feelings towards me at all....and I believe that she is the reason he has had a sudden resurgeance of "spirituality" going to all the meetings, out in service and to conventions...I believe its HER who is the motivator.
Anybody have any WT articles that talk about "cheating" and being alone with the opposite sex? When I was seeing him, we were NEVER alowed to be alone even as adults going on a date! We were NEVER allowed to go out in service alone with another brother in a car group. So how did it become ok to do what he is doing? Yes Im leaving him but it appears he has been cheating on me for sooooome time now. Im sooooo pissed off. Soooo anxious to get this over with and have him and his cult OUT OF MY HOUSE!