Can a jw be punished for withholding sex?

nightwing02

My wife and i have seperated,and i had to talk to the elders yesterday one of the things they asked did i withhold sex from my wife? odd question ? or is it just me?

The way they look at it is that if one partner 'withholds sex' from the other, it makes the probability of adultery higher for the 'offended' partner. If that does happen, they may feel compelled to make you share the 'blame'.

It doesn't make sense to me now, surely as adults we should be able to accept the responsibility for our own behaviour.

I also wonder if insinuating themselves into your private bedroom activities is perversely tittillating for some elders.

Love, Scully

Rummy1

nosey bastards
They probably want to know so that if she shags someone she can blame you and they will hold you responsible.
Tell 'em to take a running jump.

Amazing

Hi Nightwing: Skully is correct. I wonder what the Elders expect is you are separated, you are each withholding sex from one another. You could as easily turn the question around ... say that she was withholding from you. The Elders are not thinking.

Another reason that their question will come up is this: A JW woman learns that her JW husband commits adultary. (or the other way around ... not a gender issue) ... He is repentant, and is not DF'd ... and she says says she forgives him ... but ... she withholds sex.

According the WTS policy, (unless they have changes it) if sex is withheld by her from him over some unspecified period of time, he has the right to pursue divorce ... and remain in good standing in the congregation. The catch is, they cannot have consumated at all once the act of adultary was committed.

Terribly legalistic ...

sunscapes

Yes, consummation AFTER adultery consitutes "forgiveness", according to the WTS interpretation of scripture, notwithstanding the fact that she may be coerced or is in a physically/emotionally violent relationship and/or is staying in for the kids. This has not changed to my knowledge. Even if legal divorce is obtained after this sort of situation, the congregation refuses to recognize it because it's not a "Scriptural" divorce in the eyes of Jehovah God.

That's how my mother got DF'd. and was painful at the time. The mitigating circumstances were considered but judged unscriptural by the judicial committee. However, now I'm glad she got out of this Pharisaical, legalistic religion before she passed on.

She always maintained before she passed on that she was right with God on the whole matter (despite what the WTS said) and I believed her as she took her last breath.

Farkel

If dub wives were punished for withholding sex, there would only be male dubs in the religion.

Farkel

Imbue

If dub wives were punished for withholding sex, there would only be male dubs in the religion

This is true but from the other way around. I know several wives whose husbands haven't touched them for years (10 sometimes 20 years).

The elders don't want to touch this subject. There would be no elders left in the congs.

Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Scully

Farkel writes:

If dub wives were punished for withholding sex, there would only be male dubs in the religion

Imbue writes:

This is true but from the other way around. I know several wives whose husbands haven't touched them for years (10 sometimes 20 years).

Sad but true, when you aren't allowed to have sex until the wedding night, you don't know how important that aspect of the relationship is going to be. When it becomes painfully obvious that you aren't sexually compatible, you have no recourse, unless you're willing to get yourself DFd by committing adultery.

I know that of which I speak. I'm one of those wives who Imbue refers to.

Love, Scully

termite 35

And don't forget; there's NO SUCH THING as rape within a marriage, according to the powers that be...'How can a man rape his wife when she is his partner?it's impossible..'How much longer can they keep these lies perpetuating from generation to generation?

Solace

termite:
No such thing as rape within a marriage?
I havnt heard that one. Pretty sick.
Well, I guess the offender better hope the judge is also a J.W.

Can a jw be punished for withholding sex?

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