Unexpected conversation with a long time JW friend (in good standing)

by OneDayillBeFree 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • OneDayillBeFree
    OneDayillBeFree

    So tonight after the meeting, this brother whome I've grown up with invited me to eat. He had come almost an hour late to the meeting and looked kind of down and a bit depressed. I agreed to go eat.

    There was very little talking at first. He asked me how it felt not to be a regular pioneer anymore and I of course told him I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. No more worrying about getting my time in. I could give god whatever it is I wanted to give him, from my heart, not because I had made a contract with him. We laughed a bit about that.

    He just smiled and nodded.

    Once we were done he excused himself to the restroom and I just sat there waiting. Once he returned he sat down again and said, "you know with the congregation's splitting soon and other things going on in the hall, I've been thinking a lot about so many things and honestly, I dont know what to do. Remember how we used to go out for entire days in service? Remember all the fun we used to have? Remember how we wanted become minsterial servants and then go to bethel?"

    "I do." I said, not quite sure where he was going with all of this.

    "Well, honestly ______, those days are dead and gone. I was going to go out on service today since it's my day off but decided to just stay home and do other things. It felt alright. I wasn't even going to go to the meeting today but I came for the second part of it anyway."

    "I see." I said, "So what have you been thinking about so much then?"

    "Well, I kind of don't know how to say it so I'll just say it. I just want to disappear for a while. I don't want to go to the meetings anymore. There's no point to them. I feel as if my life is being wasted. I've lost my zeal like they say but I have no desire in looking for it. There's nothing new in the meetings its always the same thing over and over again. And that whole 'Safeguard you mind' part was just pushing it a bit too far for me. I don't want to call them doubts but more like questions. Several things don't really make much sense. I dont know. I just need to get out for a while. And I think that my only chance is to move away once the congregation's split."

    "Oh, I understand." I replied calmly. "But what do you mean exactly by dissappear?"

    "I'm thinking of becoming inactive. That's what I mean. I don't know for how long, maybe 6 months, maybe a year. I just want to take a break from all of it!", he said firmly.

    "Oh okay _____. Well, I don't know what made you think that way but you are not alone my friend. And don't worry. Take as long as you need. You need to be out there. You need to live a little. See what's on the other side. And remember, whatever it is you decide to do, I'll still be here as a friend in case you need one." I responded in a very calm manner.

    "What? Really?" he said in amazement.

    "Yup" I responded.

    He smiled and then said "thanks _____, it's good to have real friends like you.

    "No problem ____" I said, "and who knows, I said, maybe I'll joing you someday..."

    We then joked a bit about other things, then we finally got out and ready to go home.

    "Oh and one more thing before I forget..." I said as we were leaving.

    "What?" he asked.

    "When you're out there and you're looking in, before you decide to become active again, question everything first!" I said as I got in the car.

    He paused for a bit, then nodded and said "alright. I will."

    Then we parted.

    It was such an unexpected conversation that I just had to share it with you guys! Looks like even the most "spiritual" of brothers and sisters are now questioning more and more, having increasing doubts about many things. And it makes me happy. As I continue on my own path to freedom, It's nice to see others slowly start to wake up.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    What a fantastic conversation. I'm so glad he recognised that you were a safe person to talk to about it. He needed a friend to confide in and you were there. Lucky guy....and great that you helped him to feel supported in what he had decided.

  • mind blown
    mind blown

    I'm happy your friend had someone like you to lend support...it's very loney when you have to do it alone and no one understands. You did a good thing

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    All of "the signs of the times" that JWs used to recite to remind themselves that they were in the time of the end have been thrown on the scrapheap by the Governing Body. NO JW an argue effectively from the Bible that there is any more chance that he will live to see armageddon as there was a chance of Abraham Lincoln seeing Armageddon. They are rudderless and adrift in the stream of time.

  • dozy
    dozy

    Interesting chat. Almost word for word mirrors a conversation I recently had with a JW relative.

    I think that there are quite a few JWs like this. They stay because of the strong social pressures , inertia, family etc but in reality , consciously or subconsciously many of them have just had enough of the boring treadmill of WTBTS activities. Given a sudden change of circumstances ( such as a congregation split or moving away ) often they just drift off.

    I remember a good friend of mine about 20 years ago who was a hard working ministerial servant with a young family. Very much the centre of the congregation with a lot of JW friends. His mother was disabled & was a classic "strong" witness. When she died , they went away for a two week holiday afterwards , came back & they never came to the meetings. Just completely stopped , cold turkey. There hadn't been even a hint of any weakness or problems with them. I had a brief chat with him ( he was very reluctant to talk to anyone ) & he told me that he & his wife had discussed their situation on holiday & felt that for years they had just been going along to please his mother. All of a sudden , they didn't need to do it any more and they just wanted to "get along with the rest of their lives." Shortly afterward , they moved away & I've never seen them since.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Some people see it sooner then others......it's over and it's been over for a number of decades. You don't owe your parents anything for demanding that you become a witness. Your friends are conditional. The society is corrupt and doesn't give a good crap about you. Head for the door in orderly fashion.

  • biometrics
    biometrics

    That's great. I wish I had friends like you. Every non-blood related JW I know has shunned me since I faded, even though I'm not DF'd.

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    great experience, a success story, keep in touch with your mate!

  • besty
  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    Wow, great story. Best wishes to both of you.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit