Unconditional Love-How would you describe it?

by rip van winkle 239 Replies latest members private

still thinking

Sorry if challenging that with evidence offends your personal beliefs...
LOL...you aren't offending me...or my personal beliefs.
Trying to compare love to WTS direction is a waste of time. They not only put themselves first...there is no genuine love shown.
It's about power and control over other peoples lives. That is NOT love.
Just like you, JWs and other Xians are BIG proponents of the concept of selfless and/or UL
Nope...not like me at all. I am not about controlling others. I am not about turning the other cheak or any other silly belief. I am about respecting myself and others. I am not selfless.
still thinking

You're welcome: I take it as her way of expressing the personal limits we all experience in being unable to control others, regardless of how much we love them...
I agree
King Solomon

I agree
Ahhh, the power of Bonnie Raitt: why didn't I think of that BEFORE NOW?!?
Don Henley's and Patty Smyth's awakening and epiphany of the limits of love:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjkU0p-hUGI
SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AINT ENOUGH (lyrics)
by: Don Henley & Patti Smyth

Now I don't wanna lose you,
but I don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
and I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fault
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay

And there's a Danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't say who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love-it just ain't enough...ohh, No. No.
still thinking

You know Sol...I can't help thinking we are coming to similar conclusions...but for different reasons and from a different understanding of that conclusion.
Just goes to show...more than one road can lead to rome...LOL
tec

Well, I've been gone for a while, so I'm just gonna jump back in here with this thread, having read only the OP :)
Unconditional love is about acceptance and respect of an individuals thoughts, opinions, perspectives, behaviours and lifestyles.
Including loving those who are sometimes unlovable.
And the ability to separate the person from a negative action.
And forgiving the imperfections of others as well as our own.
I like this. I would clarify one thing, regarding the ability to separate the person from a negative action. I think that is true, a given really... but, imo, unconditional love goes a step further... in that you love the person in entirety, accepting (and perhaps more accurately 'overlooking' and not 'dwelling upon) the flaws and negative traits that cause those negative actions.
You don't have to judge with unconditional love. You accept, and you give love, and you do not need (or even expect) to receive anything back for it. It is its own reward.
Being free to love others without restraint/judgment/conditions... is a gift both to us and to those others. It is freeing, and it is 'lightening' (as in not a burden, as judging is a burden)
Now, unconditional love does not mean that you allow yourself to be abused, or become/remain someone's doormat. Sometimes love for someone else is NOT allowing them to mistreat you... so they might see the truth of themselves, and might even try/want to change/get help. Speaking truth might not always be pleasant (as in telling someone they are abusive and you will not allow them to abuse you), but that does not mean it is unloving. (unless it comes from a desire to hurt, rather than to heal)

Call me stupid, but I think unconditional love is self-describing.
LOL... and so it is!
Peace,
tammy
tec

If I found out my hubby OR CHILD was a serial killer, I'd turn them in so fast it'd make their head spin - or more likely, I'd kill them myself, in 'ahem - cough' - "self"-defense..."
(disregarding killing them yourself, lol...)...
Turning your child in to the authorities does NOT mean that you do not love them. It does not even mean that you do not love them unconditionally. Just means you will NOT allow them to hurt others, if you can stop this.
Peace,
tammy
rip van winkle

King Sol said: I actually understand WHY modern psychology has long-since abandoned the idea of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, which is a sign of mental instability.
I just would like to point out that the man who was once a former "Moonie", and has become an expert in his field
uses the phrase "Unconditional Love" and HE equates that toREAL Love.
In his latest book, Freedom of Mind* by Steven Hassan
Hassan states his " Strategic Interactive Approach to assisting friends or loved ones to exit cults " .
1- Real Love is Stronger than conditional love: The fact that you are willing to help and are seeking professional advice means there is reason to hope. The member will realize that YOUR love is unconditional , while the cult's 'love ' depends on their meeting expectations and goals.
(*Flipper started a thread on the book-http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/235114/1/Hassans-New-Book-Freedom-of-Mind-Chapter-1-Tidbits-Points)
------------
Steven Alan Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC has been involved in educating the public about mind control, controlling groups and destructive cults since 1976.
He holds a Masters degree in counseling psychology from Cambridge College, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC).
Steve has written three books that have received extensive praise from former cult members, families of former members, clergy, cult experts, and psychologists, “Combatting Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults” (1988) and “Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves” (2000). In July 2012, he published the paperback and e-book, "FREEDOM OF MIND, Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs."
Recognition
Steve’s work has been praised by former cult members and their family and friends, mental health professionals, religious leaders, psychologists, law officials, educators and cult experts.
During his many years of work, he has been asked to provide numerous training workshops and seminars for mental health professionals, educators and law enforcement officers, as well as for families of cult members.
As an expert on controlling groups and cults, cult counselor, and mental health professional, Steve has been featured in major media including 60 Minutes, Nightline, Dateline, Larry King Live, and The O’Reilly Factor..
Please contact Freedom of Mind if you have questions about how Steve or one of his associates might help you.
http://www.freedomofmind.com/Media/biography.php
rip van winkle

Still Thinking said- I have not changed any claim...I have said from the beginning that putting anothers welfare above your own is not unconditional love...first you must love yourself. And I do not regret what I did...because I took care of my self first.
*ST
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Tec said-Now, unconditional love does not mean that you allow yourself to be abused, or become/remain someone's doormat. Sometimes love for someone else is NOT allowing them to mistreat you... so they might see the truth of themselves, and might even try/want to change/get help. Speaking truth might not always be pleasant (as in telling someone they are abusive and you will not allow them to abuse you), but that does not mean it is unloving. (unless it comes from a desire to hurt, rather than to heal)
Thank you Tammy (tec) for your p.o.v. on this subject. I agree.
-------------------
This discussion has taken all kinds of twists and turns, some friendly, some not. I suppose some reactions can be due to deep pockets of pain and hurt. And others maybe from a practical application of what they have learned through personal experience. And some from their vast knowledge of physcological issues. And for some, only through a Christian application.
I could never have imagined that this topic about UL could be so divisive. Maybe I'm naive.
Well, I stepped back and took a breath. I want to say that I appreciate everyone's participation and ALL of those participating with their comments.
Even the ones that sting.
*Hopefully we all can learn from eachother.
"Rip"
still thinking

*Hopefully we all can learn from each other.
talesin

Sorry if challenging that with evidence offends your personal beliefs...
That's ironic.
:P

Unconditional Love-How would you describe it?

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