"You are still married, and still happy ?"

Phizzy

I met an aging, well, late sixties, Pioneer sister a few days back, from a Congregation four removes away, and a different Circuit to my old Congo. I have known her since I was a kid.

I wasn't quite sure at first if she knew our "status" as we exchanged pleasantries, but it soon became clear she knew exactly our situation, that we walked away a few years ago.

She asked me about my views on life now, and listened respectfully, and said she appreciated my view, but a couple of questions that she threw at me, as in the Thread Title, showed that she was surprised that Mrs Phizzy and I had not gone off the rails after we left.

The MInd Control goes so very deep does it not ? she was surprised that our marriage hadn't failed, and that we were now happy.

I wonder if she will ever make the connection that the JW Org has lied to her about those of us who leave ?

Sadly, I doubt it, but it certainly shook her preconceived ideas, as fed to her by a lying Corporation.

ToesUp

Congratulations!!!!

The WT wants everyone to believe that once you leave your life will fall apart. It is kind of like a bad country song.

Not always the case WT. My mate and I left and are happier than ever! 32+ years and going strong!!!!

Enjoying life to the full!

Cheers Mr. & Mrs. Phizzy!!!

TTATTelder

If people can just get their heads around the fact that it's just another religion turned into a business - with just another theology / belief system and corporate structure, so much will begin to make sense. They will no longer be plagued by questions such as:

Why is Phizzy happy and still married?

Why did that elder get away with an affair for a solid decade before ever getting caught?

Why did that obvious butt-kisser get appointed instead of this other brother that is obviously 10 times more spiritual and a better person?

Why do we not engage in charity work of any kind beyond disaster relief for mainly our own members?

Why can't the GB keep their story straight about what God revealed to them as eternal truth?

Why has the organization covered up child abuse instead of doing the right thing and leaving the rest in God's hands?

etc. etc.

-TE

Zoos

I've heard it recommended on this forum many times that, when asked, we should highlight how very happy we are since our departure. It knocks their eyeballs loose. And for me, it's not a lie. Sure, I went through my own private little Armageddon when I first left, but once I gained my emotional and psychological feet again... it was new goals, new focus, new friends, new CHOSEN family. I'm even enjoying the process of trying to figure out the parts I haven't figured out yet.

Honestly, they're not the only ones surprised by all this. Take away my own former indoctrination into believing happiness outside the organization was impossible. I'M STILL surprised by how genuinely satisfied I am with life in general.

No, it's not perfect. But it is great!

OnTheWayOut

I am glad you are still happy and did not sink deeply into swinging, drugs, murder, etc. (Unless that is the secret to your happiness. )

While I generally avoid life discussions with them, it seems JW's (including my mother) automatically assume I was too depressed by some imbalance to see how wonderful the JW lifestyle was, or that I let pride get in the way on some disagreement with the elders.

It cannot be simply realizing it is not the truth in their minds. But it is. And we can be happy outside of the lies.

Simon

Happily Married? Is that an oxymoron like "Military Intelligence" or "Scottish Culture"?

Don't worry if I've offended anyone - Angharad will hit me.

steve2

It does the Witnesses' heads in to see that ex-JWs lead balanced, happy lives in contradiction to platform and publication warnings about the consequences of leaving. Those ex-JWs who were expected to fall to pieces and even kill themselves if they had the temerity to leave the organization confuse local Witnesses by flourishing in their personal and public lives.

Happiness is the best response to Witnesses' expectations of ex-JWs.

Still Totally ADD

The misses and I are more happily married than ever before. We no longer have this cult getting in the way of our marriage. No we do not wife swap, go out and get drunk, take drugs, steal, and lie. We do take more time for ourselves, we do have friends that are not part of a cult and yes we do Holidays and Birthdays. If that makes us evil! So be it. The cult thinking is when you leave every bad thing will happen to you. Funny the only thing that has happen to us has only been good except for our kids but then that's the cult causing that bad thing not us. This March it will be 41 years for us and being out of the cult makes it even more special. Still Totally ADD

stillin

Bad things never happen to JW's, so they always say "uh huh! See what happens!" If you get sick or lose your job after escaping the Organization.

eyeuse2badub

Hi Phizzy,

My wife is still struggling with the FACT that I'm a much happier and much more balanced human now that I've 'left the troof'. The shackles are broken and no longer do I have to spend endless hours preparing talks, parts for the meeting, study the wastetower and slave for the RBC.

Time to live life and enjoy the fruits of my labor is very rewarding and satisfying. I know that it somewhat bothers my wife that I don't miss all that 'busy work' laid on us by the wtbts. She's of the WT mindset that having fun in "this system" is wrong.

20+ years as an elder, 60 years as a dub and GOD I'm happy that it's behind me. It's almost like getting out of prison after serving a 50 year sentence.

Absolutely, living a happy, meaningful, fulfilling life is the best way to combat the jw mindset that we all go nuts if we leave "da troof".

48 years of marriage, still happy with my wife and still trying to introduce her to TTATT.

just saying!

eyeuse2badub

"You are still married, and still happy ?"

Share this