Reading your story I get the sense that you are a very loving man. Too bad it has had such poor expression through the Jehovah's Witnesses. Give your boyfriend a big kiss from me.
Born Gay in a JW World
by krejames 35 Replies latest members private
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OnTheWayOut
Thanks for detailing your story. Welcome to the forum.
"What do you think you were doing answering up? We haven't lifted the restriction yet!"
So they make you feel bad about their own mistake. What a clown circus most congregation's elders really are.
I love the simple solution of growing a beard. I am surprised it didn't work. It would have in the U.S..
You were truly liked by the JW's. Most are good people. It sounds like a series of well-intentioned people kept you around longer, knowing they would lose you if they didn't keep cutting you breaks from JC's. It was inevitable that you would "wake up" one day, though.
I am happy you also found good people in the world outside of the Kingdom Hall, also. You will know when you are ready to completely fade or DA or get DF'ed.
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perfect1
I am happy for you that you have found someone.
I hope at some point you can totally come out and be surrounded by a strong, supportive gay community.
I liked reading your story and wish you the best.
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Fernando
Welcome krejames, and thank you for sharing your story!
No, religionists have twisted scripture from begininng to end to suit their agenda of control and authority via fear, guilt, shame and embarassment. That is not of God.
I was a 3rd generation born-in who started awakening spiritually at age 40. I now know without a doubt that The Watchtower is infested with the spirit of the devil, and is a supremacist doomsday cult.
Who did Jesus take issue with when on earth? Gays or religious leaders (Matt 23 esp v15)?
For a scriptural, detailed and refreshingly different, but deep perspective, you may want to take a look at: http://biblehouseofgrace.com/same%20sex%20relationships.html
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deep-blue-sea
Hi Krejames,
I've been reading your story written in a so simply a sincere way. I can uderstand your situation being in a world without love nor comphension, that of JW! It is so sad to spend years trying to find answers, understanding, mental peace..
I've have been very close to my nephew, son of my JWsister, who has been passing through your same sufferings, no understanding or compassion, or love, from his own JW's parents, fighting against the same thoughts of fear and condemnation from all people around: Congregation, family, Jehovah.
I'm also an XJW, that's why, I think, I'm no more judgmental, everybody has to live his own life, knowing what is the best for him. If there is a God is up to him to judge at the end of time.
My nephew, also took the good decision to dissociate, to start leaving with his friend though his family has only the minimum contact with him, his father is openly disgusted of him... he is so sad for that, but otherwise happy to live a satisfactory life.
Wish you the same, have joy and peace of mind,
Regards, Claudia
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TimothyT
You are made of solid gold!!! Thanks so much for your story. I have sent you a personal message! xxx
Love Timmy xxx
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nuthouse escapee
krejames welcome to the forum and thanks for your story. As a straight female I can't comprehend how emotionally and mentally stressful it must have been to try and hide who you are. I have always believed (even while in) that a person's sexual orientation is something you are born with and not something you choose as per Wt thinking. I expressed this opinion to a few while still in because I could not stand the gay-bashing, you can imagine how that went over.
Congratulations on finding someone to love and to receive love from in return. This is a basic human need and to be denied that is cruel IMO. No one should have to live in fear like that or be burdened with unnecessary guilt. I hope soon that you will be able to live your life to the fullest without feeling any guilt. Best wishes on your continued journey.Leslie
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steve2
(Also it's easy to forget that it wasn't just the JWs - society in general was very homophobic, so leaving the org probably wasn't seen as an immediate ticket to acceptance as it is now).
krejames - well said. It takes a certain amount of healthy perspective to acknowledge that in many respects the JWs are no worse - but then no better, either - than the secular and religious groups in their own communities. It doesn't so much absolve specific individuals in the organization about the unloving or unkind ways they may have acted in response to the "problems" we had with our sexual oritentation. However, it serves as a helpful reminder than communities in general and political states in particular staunchly criminalized the expression of one's sexuality (the threat of loss of employment and/or imprisonment hung over gay men in New Zealand until the passing of the Homosexual Law Reform Act in 1987).The bulk of the religious groups back then chanted "No reform - it's against the Bible" and would have gladly allowed the persecution of sexual minorities to continue, seeing anything other than Biblical sex as worthy of condemnation.At the same time, they insisted their "God" was love (yeah, but only if you're straight or celibate).
I think it is sobering that, the freedoms we enjoy today in having equal rights are not due to the religious upholders of Scripture (whether the Bible, the Koran, the book of Mormon etc), but due to secular influences which have argued for greater acceptance of human rights over divine-inspired persecution.
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Fernando
A sad but true indictment of religion/ists, steve2.
Personally I see more of God and his thinking in the "secular influences" you mention, than in religion/ists.
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VIII
Welcome krejames and thank you for sharing your story.
I have a female cousin in similar circumstances. Very sad. I hope you remain here!