Hi guys! Well the caca hit the fan! A friend asked me WHY I am leaving the org and I told her. Nothing doctrinal, because I think everyone has to find their own pressure point that makes them want out! I stressed to her that it was the control, emotional, behavioral, mental and thought control that was my indication that I did not belong. I told her how it stressed me out and how unhappy I was. I told her that when I took a break that I started feeling better that further away I got from the control how much better I felt. I felt so good and happy that I could not see coming back! I think it freaked her out! I think cognitive dissonance kicked in, because she could not comprehend why I would leave! Of course she does not know that I SEE the org in a whole different light because I read too much and know deep in my soul this is not right! She is devastated! She calls my brother and outs me and now my whole family is in freak out mode! I say to them: I'm just making different choices. I respect your beliefs...please respect mine and realize that my different choices does not change the familial ties and love I have for them. They are telling me, that my choices put them in a situation where they may not be able to talk to me! Jehovah this... Jehovah that! I calmly sit back and say: you do realize that there's nothing scriptural that says you should ostracize me for changing what I believe? So WHO HAS TOLD YOU THIS AND WHY! Who is causing this strife? Jehovah or....? I am done! I can never go back! If this is a loving organization well they have just clearly shown me that it all conditional! that Jehovah wants me to come back even though I think differently because that's the only way my family and friends can love and be with me! I now see something is wrong! Just the battle of word and tears have worn me out! The control for me to stay in at all costs and the control that prevents them to accept that we all have free will to chose how we live our lives. It's just too much! My heart is heavy... I don't understand why this is so hard!
My fade has hit the fan!
by SophieG 39 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
sizemik
Back off a bit from it if you can . . . you'll get huge helpings of emotional blackmail dumped in your lap. It's unlikely they will see things as you do, so don't bang your head against a brick wall by engaging in the endless battle of words.
Keep them all at arms length if you can . . . and especially don't agree to any official "shepherding" calls. Just give them space to digest it. This is the worst part of the journey by far . . . is there someone close to give you support?
We'll be here to cheer you on.
-
Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Hang in there! They're trying to attack you in order to silence their own doubts.
Remind them that Jesus and his disciples were ostracized and considered apostates for not conforming to the Jewish authorities of his day. They were threatened by family and friends when they chose to follow Christ instead of following imperfect clergymen. Jesus was accused of being a disciple of Satan too. Their persecution of you confirms that you must be doing the right thing.
-
ziddina
Aw, Sophie, I'm so sorry to hear about their hard-hearted attitudes...
Sizemik gave good advice above; I would add - when things calm down, don't bother with such bold statements in future. I know that can be very difficult with family pressuring you - they think you're going to "die at Armageddon" if they don't apply the pressure, but you now know it's all a sham to control people...
There's lots of good advice on this board as to how to successfully 'fade' under the radar - try the 'search' function and see what you come up with.
Maybe even bump a few old threads on the subject, for us, if you feel like it???
Zid
-
-
SophieG
Thank you guys sooo much! This is absolutely the most insane thing I have ever experienced! Their freak out is making me freak out! There is no rational, normal thought process coming thru!
I feel like I am escaping Jonestown and the followers are chasing me! They are crazy! Imagine me running away from these people in 6 inch heels...and i am trying to take a shoe off so i can stab them in the eye! LOL! I'm trying to laugh because it's so CLEAR to me that something is wrong with them! If a person wants to leave... Let them go!
-
sabastious
Sorry about that. I wish that woman could have kept her mouth shut, not in the Organization though. "OMG BLOODGUILT GOTTA TELL PEOPLE AND MAKE A SH*T STORM!!!!" You're in my thoughts.
-Sab
-
ozbrad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=230VadxFFok
Cause you're free
To do what you want to do
You've got to live your life
Do what you want to do.
-
Ding
Why would any rational person want to leave the spiritual paradise, especially with Armageddon so close?
They can't think beyond that WT programmed question...
-
SophieG
Sab... Thank you! In defense of my friend, I know she is deeply hurt! I am the sister she looked up to! If I am LEAVING it's a big deal! It's throwing her thought process into overdrive....something is making me leave and it's too much for her to handle. It's going to get worse because everyone knows me. I will keep saying: "Just leave me alone.Trust me, I am fine!"
What people are failing to realize is that people change their minds all the time! The question is: why are YOU FREAKING OUT! I'm not!