“I have no conscience”
It seems to me that yes, you actually do have some conscience. You don't want to be a rapist or a killer, you consider some of your actions crimes, you try to 'justify' to Jehovah...
YOU are still in there. Hello, and welcome.
Umm Hi
by Killa 53 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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jgnat
I can relate to the mask. I built one when I was with my abusive ex-husband. It was a little horrifying to realize I'd split, an the person performing the act was far removed from the me inside. I had nightmares of the abyss I was in danger of falling in to. Feeling effectively beaten out of me.
I chose life and feeling. I left that man who was systematically destroying me and eventually I re-integrated.
After another traumatic event years later, I developed the opposite problem. I can't/won't present a second face. You see me; all of me. It takes a lot less energy. No maintenance required.
Here's two thoughts to consider:
- That external, caring face is also yours.
- You will not always have the energy of youth to maintain two personas. They'll start slipping in to each other's world.
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mouthy
I am the Granny on board.85.. I was a JW for over 25 years. You sound like you are just the material to be an elder.
I will tell you right now ( & you cans say F ,,,off to me) as it seems a word you enjoy using.
I have great pity for your wife.. I think you need help ...And MY belief is there is only one
who can do that for you... JESUS CHRIST!!!! ask HIM to come into your heart. I did that when
I found out the old men at Brooklyn were just like you. LOOKS LOVELY !!!! speaks GREAT!, smiles
sweetly,& gives advice,that FOOLS like me listened too.Satanic in every way... But since I asked Jesus to
help me....My life is peaceful ...
Granny advice is all I have laugh if you will. But give it a try...http://exjw.weebly.com Grace Gough
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Lady Lee
Breaking Posting Guidelines 1 and 3 and just generally yanking everyone's chain.
You don't want help and you state you just want to see what kind of reaction you get.