I've been shunned from my sister's wedding (page 4)

JBean

YoYo... may I add another thought? You say that you'll not post your thoughts from your committee meeting because you're hated on this board and that people may use your comments against you. I don't know about that. I'd say more than half of the people, when you posted that you were having a meeting that Sunday, replied with some kind words to you... including myself. I personally would like to see you content and happy in your life's course. And am truly interested in your thoughts... however, I am NOT interested in your thoughts of dislike and what seems like hatred. I was very surprised, given what you've (supposedly) been going through, that you came out with such "fire and brimstoney" type comments about Quotes and his dilemma with his sisters wedding. No one wants or needs to be slammed. I believe we all need some kindness in our replies to each other, no? Just my thoughts... sorry folks... didn't mean to interrupt this imporant thread. Back to the wedding... Jbean

muslima

Just my 2 cents worth - but I DA'd 6 years ago and I did not attend 2 of my children's weddings.

My son did not invite me - nor was there any discussion about it. Just the attitude of "thems the brakes mom",

My eldest daughter and I just sorta had a lite conversation about the fact that it would be too uncomfortable for everyone else for me to come to the wedding -- but we assured each other we would be in each others thoughts.

Now that she is married almost a year -- she is the one who always has me stay with her when I visit -- no questions asked - regardless of who may question her -- she just says -- whatever...it's my MOM!

My youngest - well it remains to be seen -- she is not interested in being a JW and will probably not marry one anyway so she says I will probably be the only person of her family there!! ( and her sister of course)

I could feel hurt over it all -- and I guess it does hurt a bit that I am not in any pictures or anything...but the JW wife of my former husband is... but I just don't allow myself to go there...at least not often or for long...

Best of luck....hang in there

Reborn2002

This is one of those very nauseating sequences in which you are indeed damned if you do and damned if you dont.

Your love for your sister makes you want to go to the ceremony, but your agreeing to go to the ceremony at the Kingdom Hall since you were invited and then not attending the reception is then ACCEPTING and ABIDING by their SHUNNING ARRANGEMENT.

Let me get this straight, you are disassociated and therefore have turned your back on Jehovah, yet your welcome in the epicenter of where Witnesses congregate, but not in your own sister's home?

I truly feel sorry for you. I too am disassociated, and since then I have had no contact with my brother, his wife, or my now 1 year old nephew. I feel your pain. I really hate to say this, but if I were you, I would NOT go to either. Going to the wedding gives them their way. It makes you look guilty, and it also makes you give in to their wicked practices. If you do not go, at the very least it may make her feel bad and stop and think how outright silly the whole scenario is. The WTS truly divides families.

Why not show her this link? It is taken directly from the Public Relations site of Jehovah's Witnesses.

http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

This is in the Frequently Asked Questions section, should non-Witnesses come to the site and wish to learn more about the organization. If youll note, scroll down to the 4th topic, which explicitly asks
DO YOU SHUN FORMER MEMBERS?
and according to their own words

Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned.

Now you were Disassociated as I was, hence you were not expelled, you voluntarily ceased to be involved. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
if that is the case, then you should be welcome at both the wedding and the reception.

This truly exposes them for the hypocrites they are.

By the way.. YOYOBOZO.. check out that link. It is the authorized official website of Jehovah's Witnesses. Care to explain yourself outta that one?

Good luck to you.

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http://www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html
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YoYoMama

By the way.. YOYOBOZO.. check out that link. It is the authorized official website of Jehovah's Witnesses. Care to explain yourself outta that one?

Gladly. By disassociation you are publicly and officially renouncing your faith and your association with Jehovah's Witnesses, your not just ceasing to be involved like an inactive Witness.

Reborn2002

LOL. I rest my case. Your fulla shit. Ceasing to be involved in the faith means you are no longer a member. When you write a letter of disassociation you state you no longer wish to be known as a Jehovah's Witness. How many "inactive" witnesses do you know who are invited out to associate? Give me a friggin break.

I highly suggest you go read the rest of the article. It mentions those who are expelled may come back, but as for those who voluntarily leave, are NOT shunned.

While were even on the topic, and it has been discussed amply, your mighty Watchtower Society has overstepped the Bible principles again anyway. Tell me where in the Scriptures you see it is proper to SHUN people? It says to treat him as a "man of the nations" and you dont publicly avoid people who are "worldly" do you? If that were the case your mighty preaching work would never be done.

To compound upon that, I dont believe Ive ever seen an organization so fascinated with titles and labels.

-Disassociated, disfellowshipped, publicly reproved, privately reproved, marked, active, inactive.

-Unbaptized publisher, baptized publisher, auxiliary pioneer, regular pioneer, special pioneer.

-Ministerial servant, elder, congregation secretary, presiding overseer, theocratic school overseer, circuit overseer, district overseer.

-The Glorious Ones, The Anointed Remnant, Heavenly Class, Earthly Class, did I forget any?

Yet there are no "Clergy" class, and hmm.. th CO and DO have cars and even a residence PROVIDED.

Talk to me YOYO when you know your facts. Go read the article.

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NeonMadman

By disassociation you are publicly and officially renouncing your faith and your association with Jehovah's Witnesses, your not just ceasing to be involved like an inactive Witness.

Yoyo, why don't you point out the scriptures that show the difference between being disassociated and merely inactive? I mean, everything JW's teach is from the Bible, right?

Tom

"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

Scully

Dear Quotes:

Just had another thought, here.

Usually with attending a wedding comes the social propriety of giving a gift to the bride and groom.

I'm sure your sister, hoping to maintain decorum and all, would like to receive a gift from you and your wife. However, since she's not fully including you in the wedding festivities, supposedly because of her conscience, perhaps it would be kind of you not to impose on her conscience further by offering her a gift that may be a stumbling block for her conscience.

"Gee, I treated my own brother like crap, and look at the nice gift he gave me. I wonder if it's demonized. Should I keep it? Should I give it back? How do I explain it to him? If I give it back, will his wife be stumbled?? I really think I could study with her and bring her into The Truth™ if they didn't live so far away..."

I think in your reply, you should kindly explain that, out of concern for her conscience and not wanting to cause her a moral dilemma, you won't give her a gift. You also don't want her to feel embarrassed when her JW friends come over and admire your gift. Plus, you would be devastated if she refused it and returned it to you.

Love, Scully

patio34

Hi Quotes,

My 1st reaction was to not attend for the reasons Reborn stated

Your love for your sister makes you want to go to the ceremony, but your agreeing to go to the ceremony at the Kingdom Hall since you were invited and then not attending the reception is then ACCEPTING and ABIDING by their SHUNNING ARRANGEMENT.

My 2nd reaction is the same. THEY are the ones who make and live by their ridiculous rules, so let them face the consequences. If i were banned by a village in the olden days, why would i show up for a special occasion, just to make them happy?

It was also mentioned by someone that if you go that it would be good to refrain from being in the pictures. That would give you some dignity and way of expressing your disapproval of their actions.

For what it's worth . . .
Pat

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

patio34

P. S. I think my signature line really has application here. They are shunning us (peeing) and telling us it's rain (not their doing). Baloney!

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

Prisca

My impression is that your sister does want you at the wedding, but because of some other pressures (probably from her fiance or the elders of the Hall she's getting married in) she feels that she can't invite you to the reception. She expresses her love for you, and indicates she wants you to see her get married. The reception, on the other hand, is more of a social affair, and it's possible witnesses in her family are applying pressure on her to do things according to WTS guidelines.

I can imagine this is a difficult time for you, but if you were raised as a witness and then da'd yourself, then you must have had half an idea this sort of situation would come up, and how your witness family would respond to you.

I've been shunned from my sister's wedding

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

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