Is it something about the age 30, that make JW wake up. I've notice most have left at the age of 30, as I have, or that they have left after 30 years.
Happy to be Free (Me)
P.S.
And trevor we heard (read) you the first time. lol
Non-JW Friends...
by LDH 30 Replies latest jw friends
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LDH
Happy,
Just a (small, unasked for) piece of advice. Be careful how you identify yourself (as a former JW etc). Many of these people are 'faithful' in their own church and will try to get you 'converted.' Be careful that the same tactic you used on others doesn't get turned on you. ;)
You can always tell people that you just want to live a fuller, happier life and so decided to look for true friends actively. This will prevent any ideas forming in people's little pea brains about 'converting you.' Look for them in places where they are pursuing activities that you like.
You're on the right path, just remember not many people are to be trusted intimately, so be careful about what you reveal about yourself. No need to give people the rope to hang you.
And yes, I'm going to a Super Bowl Party too. I have quite the social butterfly reputation, and it helps that I can cook for 100 as easy as cook for 1, so we are 'definitely' part of the social group. It does not make sense though, when I invite my still-active JW friends and they decline an invitation based on the fact that they 'know' people will be drunk/using drugs. Which is NOT the case. I know one person who smokes pot on a regular basis (he has MANY chronic illnesses) and to my knowledge has never offered it to anyone in our circle of friends.
So just to prove, there are good JWs and bad JWs and good 'worldly' people and bad 'worldly' people.
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peaceloveharmony
lisa,
So just to prove, there are good JWs and bad JWs and good 'worldly' people and bad 'worldly' people
i totally agree with you on this point. this is something i'm trying to get my very active jw sister and parents to see.
here's a little story:
i had some jw friends that i really only got to see at conventions. the 3 girls had their own hotel room and i went over to hang out with them. they had worldly boys in their room and were smoking. and these girls always had parts at the conventions/assemblies. i was shocked--because even though i would do something like date a worldly boy and smoke, i couldn't believe these "good" jw girls had everyone so fooled. after i left the jws i told my mom about these girls--not to get them in trouble--but to show my mom that she needed to be more careful--i have three younger brothers--about what jws she let her children hang out with.just my two cents!
love harmony
Edited by - peaceloveharmony on 25 January 2001 13:13:26
Edited by - peaceloveharmony on 25 January 2001 13:19:56
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RedhorseWoman
Thirty....it DOES seem to be the "magic number". I began having serious doubts when I was 30, but I hung on....basically inactive but striving to get back....until I was 37, which was 30 years in the BOrg.
As a young child I had several worldy friends, but after becoming a JW the friendships pretty much dissolved. There were no young JW's who lived close enough for me to associate with them, so the only association was at the Hall. Since my Mom didn't drive and my Dad was almost never home, most of my time was spent alone.
It's been pretty difficult trying to figure out what to do as far as making friends is concerned. I'm a rather shy person to begin with, and I still feel awkward about establishing friendships.
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Xandit
I've always had non-JW friends, some very close. If they want to talk about religion we do, if they don't we don't. I figure it's their call.
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Simon
Unfortunately, we were both 'good witnesses' and didn't have worldly associations. When most of your friends and family turn their back on you it *is* difficult.
I realise now that being brought up a witness is a real social handicap. I often am completely lost when trying to 'be friends' with someone. Nice to have friends here - it's much easier like this!
We are making more fiends gradually and they are much, much nicer than the so-called ones that we had at the congregation (some were very nice though) -
Simon
Oops...now I see where we went wrong...we were making 'fiends' and all the time we should have been trying to make 'friends'.
Now some at the hall are fiends but that's another subject. -
eyes_opened
I hate to say it, but the KH I spent most of my formative years in, had more Cliques in it than any school I ever went to! I remember having my feelings hurt more than once when the *cool* people <clique, clique...hey what's that cliquing sound? LOL> in the congregation would get together and I wouldn't be included or get an invite. Now as I look back objectively I couldn't care less, but at the time it was really quite painful! (Of course that was just my experience from this one particular group of people, and not representitive of ALL KHs.) I guess the point I'm trying to make is that people are people no matter where you go <even if certain people would like to think that they aren't like other people, hehehe> This whole *worldy people* thing has always reminded me of Dr. Seusses Star Bellied Sneetches story, doesn't it? "But they've got stars upon thars!" LOL
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peaceloveharmony
simon-
we were making 'fiends' and all the time we should have been trying to make 'friends'.
roflmao
h
Edited by - peaceloveharmony on 25 January 2001 15:31:46
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larc
When I was young, we lived in the country, and the KH in the nearest town only had about 30 members. There were no JW kids there, and none in my school, so I was lucky enough...oops... I mean I was fortunate enough to have regular play mates. Later, we moved to the city, but I only had one JW kid in my neighborhood, so again, I mostly associated with regular kids. The religion was much smaller then. It wasn't until I was in high school that I got to know a lot of JW kids.
Interpersonnely, the hardest part about leaving was my own paranoia and judgemental attitude about the "people in the world" The socialization process took awhile for me.