At This Point In Your Life Would You Care If You Were Disfellowshipped or Disassociated? (page 2)

maninthemiddle

I wouldn't care, but it may strain relationships with my wif's family, still i am doing nothing to hide anymore. We'll see what happens when the holiday decorations go up.

I'm living life like I already am.

I have been faded for over twenty years. Early on my family tried to push me into writing a da letter. I ignored them and any attempts to get me to clarify my position. I have been in positions where jw's are present besides my immediate family and, when they push me i am polite but firm. I say this is not the setting for a discussion but i do not hide the fact that I was raised a jw and now am not involved. My active family avoids discussions with me on topics that are religious simply because they know I am more than willing to talk about it now which would put them (not me) in a compromising situation. They have realized that my Catholic husband is not the easy mark most jw's think Catholics are - he can defend his faith and he knows the TATT and so they dont want to talk to him either.

Once my mom gave my address to an elder (that was 20 years ago) and I told her to never, ever, do that again. i would not invite them in becasue my "husband was not home."

I am not dfed, not daed, some shun me and I always say hi anyway.

If they ever did do anything to force my hand (a local elder or the local congregation - my family would not at this point, I dont think ???) it would be a sad situation for them. I work close to media and would then have no reason to not talk about my wrongful dfing at 16, the elders that salivated over details of my sexual abuse by a high school teacher, their dismissal of my subsequent mental health issues , and the overall sadness and stupidity of this insignificant cult.

I am under no illusions, but I am no longer a scared kid or young adult, i know them, and the sadness they create. I think they are too wrapped up in protecting their kingdoms to challenge someone with supports and knowledge. i have a happy life which threatens them, and am here to help my family of origin if they ever start to wonder but i have nothing but contempt for the organization and if they "came after " me it would not be what they were expecting.

Or maybe it would be, which is why they havent???

I did what i had to do to maintain family contacts - but the "what i have to do" is not a static thing.....

minimus

sosad, great post!

Simon Morley

Would not bother me - all I really care about and love are out. Most of my family nondubs.

SophieG

Sosad said: I am under no illusions, but I am no longer a scared kid or young adult, i know them, and the sadness they create. I think they are too wrapped up in protecting their kingdoms to challenge someone with supports and knowledge. i have a happy life which threatens them, and am here to help my family of origin if they ever start to wonder but i have nothing but contempt for the organization and if they "came after " me it would not be what they were expecting.

Sosad, you are where I hope to be someday. I think if they came after me I would probably become more vocal, too.

I would love to DA. I don't believe in faking it. But because I am trying to keep contact with my JW family I kinda have to lay low with how I feel about the org. I recently mentioned that my fade exploded and since then it's been really quiet...but they are still talking to me. As long as I don't rock their boat I think we should be ok. Sucks though...I stll feel that "control".

minimus

The Organization isolates or tries to isolate themselves and they are so cultish, it isn't funny.

BluesBrother

Would I care ? ....Not so much , now. It would be inconvenient though- which is why I do not seek it out. The Elders seem content to let me be.

It would cause more hardship to my wife if she felt that she could not speak of anything "spiritual" , since such things flow in and out of her conversation as natural as discussing the weather. Relations with her family would be impossible so she would have to travel alone.

Life is just easier the way things are.

arwen

I disassociated myself seven years ago but due to circumstances I dont ever think it was announced. Most of the JW's still speak to me. I do not care if they DA or DF me as I am "done" and I am so grateful to be out.

straightshooter

My wife would care and it would affect her greatly with all of her jw relatives. My relatives are not jws, so my side of the family would have no affect on me. But because of my darling wife I associate way more with her side of the family. So yes this would affect me.

snare&racket

Their whole setup is such a charade, to have any feelings would seem like I was legitimising their game. Despite that.... I am sure it would be a strange thing to hear. Either way, I am never going back and there will be as much consequence to that fact in regards to my interaction with old friends etc as being DF'd or DA'd. As for the family members I love and care about, it is up to them to make the correct moral desicion. I no longer believe, I no longer share their faith. If they think it is ok to cut off a family member for that..... then I can't do anything about it. I dont condone that behaviour at all. I think it is abhorrent. As it is, my door is always open to them no matter what they believe and I always will love them. This seems to have worked for me so far. I speak plainly to them and it has paid off. No secrecy, no hiding my feelings. I understand this will not always work and may be forced to a head soon. But even if they booted me, I know I am trying to be a good human being and I know that I left that cult with a heavy heart and regret, I wanted it to be true, but I know it is not. I lose no sleep over that, not even 1% of me thinks the WT possibly represent a god.

The DF rule is a net to catch people on the way out of the door, it makes people stay longer than they ever would by free will.If the JW's introduced a policy tommorow of :

"We will no longer DF any member that decided to leave the religion of their own free will and we accept their right to freedom of worship without consequence. No matter what relgion or non, members that leave take on, we will not pursue any judicial decision. This is between the member and his own belief."

If that happened I am confident a good 10-20 % of JW's would exit. Partners, teenagers.... they would leave in a click. It's why it will never happen despite the WT nagging the worlds governments for the exact same right to worship freely without prejudice. They know how powerful the DF threat is. Only marry in the lord..... considering the Jew's would steal wives from other nations on gods suggestion and had special rules for non Jewish wives, the "JW only" marriage restriction is not at all biblical, still they push this RULE very hard. They marked a sister in our hall for marrying a non-believer. They gave a local needs talk the week after her marriage.

They are not stupid, leave the WT....leave your family?

Anyway, sorry for waffling...

Snare x

At This Point In Your Life Would You Care If You Were Disfellowshipped or Disassociated?

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