Rules in the New System

by King Solomon 50 Replies latest social humour

  • Christ Alone
    Christ Alone

    Posted this on another thread, but apparently one of the rules of the New System will be that we all speak.... HEBREW! But probably with all the nasty yiddish-like words thrown out... Schmucks!

    *** w74 1/15 p. 43 How One Language Will Bring Unity to Mankind ***

    ONE RACE, ONE LANGUAGE

    When we examine God’s original purpose concerning man’s language, it becomes clear that he will have but one language spoken during Christ’s thousand-year rule. God wanted man to communicate. He himself spoke to Adam, and arranged for Adam to talk to him. (Gen. 2:15-23) Also, he gave language to man as an indispensable tool for thought. Adam could build upon the language as he learned new things or needed an enlarged vocabulary. Adam could fill the spiritual capacity God gave him, learning about God and expressing himself fully.

    What was the one original language? It was undoubtedly what later came to be called Hebrew. Why can we say this? Well, when the confusion of tongues occurred at the Tower of Babel, not all were affected. Noah had not rebelled. He recognized God’s sovereignty, not making himself king, as Nimrod did. Noah’s son Shem, whom Noah had prophetically blessed, evidently stayed with Noah and with true worship. (Gen. 9:26, 27) The Bible record reveals that true worship was carried down through the Shemites, particularly through the outstanding man of faith, Abraham. Abraham (Abram) was called a Hebrew.—Gen. 14:13.

    Later, Moses, a descendant of Abraham, wrote his account (Genesis through Deuteronomy) in a language called Hebrew.There may well have been little change in Moses’ language from the original language spoken by Adam. Why? Because men then enjoyed very long life-spans, their lives often overlapping into five or six generations. Therefore, the language could have been passed down through only five human links between Adam and Moses, namely, Methuselah, Shem, Isaac, Levi, Amram. (Gen. 5:3-32; 11:10-32; 21:5; 25:26; 29:34; Ex. 6:16, 18, 20) Of course, after the exile of Israel to Babylon in 607 B.C.E., and right on down to our modern times, the Hebrew language has been influenced by other languages. Too, the exact pronunciation of God’s name as spelled out in the Hebrew of Moses’ day is not now known. But God can easily restore the purity of the language so that those living in the New Order will speak it naturally and fluently.

    This speaking of one literal language will be the finishing touch to the unity brought about by the "pure language" of truth—beautifully so! All religious, national, social and racial barriers will be things of the past, and, additionally, with one vocabulary all will be able to express their thoughts fully and be understood accurately. Think also of being able to read for yourself exactly what the Hebrew prophets wrote—in their own language! The many resurrected ones who did not previously know God will find that the inspired Scriptures give an accurate account of human history down to the days of the prophet Malachi. Then the honesthearted ones will be able to say, as did the apostle Paul: "Let God be found true, though every man be found a liar."—Rom. 3:4.

  • jam
    jam

    Christ Alone: "Diary of my Post Armageddon life".

    While reading it I thought where have I heard this before.

    Then it came to me, life at Bethel.

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    JW Gone Bad said:

    No kissing, hugging, clapping or applauding when dead loved ones come back in the resurrection so as not to make others feel sad whose dead loved will not be returning!

    Oh, I'm pretty sure there will be no worrying about the ones who don't get resurrected, as even mentioning their name will result in instant vulturization!

    I'm thinking that YHWH could use an efficiency expert on the team in Heaven: why go thru the steps of killing all those billions of non-JWs, and letting the vultures eat their bodies, and then creating FRESH bodies for the resurrecting work? Instead, YHWH could simply resurrect the dead souls into the freshly vacated bodies of the recently-deceased? A fresh coat of paint and an air freshener, and there's no need for vultures, no muss, no fuss!

    WT (via Christ alone) said:

    But God can easily restore the purity of the language so that those living in the New Order will speak it naturally and fluently.

    "Hebrew"? Oy-vay....

    Wait a minute: wouldn't that constitute God undoing His efforts at the Tower of Babel? God cannot violate his own Divine Will, nor even CONTEMPLATE doing so (as God cannot sin), so wouldn't undoing his prior work constitute working against his prior Divine Will (AKA sinning)? "I cannot change"?

    Ahhh, never-mind: YHWH is not supposed to change his mind, but he's on record pulling a double-reversal flip-flop, back in Genesis' Flood account: first He regretted making mankind, and then He regretted wiping mankind off the face of the Earth (remember the purpose of creating rainbows? That was his promise NOT to do it ever, ever again).

    So WTBTS has A LOT of leeway for flip-flops, when the Big Guy Upstairs cannot even make up His own Divine mind.

  • sizemik
    sizemik
    when the Big Guy Upstairs cannot even make up His own Divine mind.

    It's that divine radiation . . . I believe he keeps a bottle or two in the cupboard under the stairs.

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    The Watchtower publishes corny pictures about the New System TM that are well known, but the prophets over at Popular Mechanics have channeled images from the future and I am pleased to present what one can really expect if they survive Armageddon.

    So fasten your seatbelts, hold on tight, and here we go.

    paradise

    Field service in paradise will be a challenge with so many people slaughtered
    and the survivors living so far apart. Not to worry. Clever conveyance methods
    will be developed to meet the challenge.

    paradise

    It turns out those lion petting opportunities will be quite a distance
    from the vegetable gardens. This will be overcome by transportation
    methods such as this skybus. Now you can quickly get from digging turnips
    to petting lions, and still be able to get home to read the new scrolls.

    paradise

    No one ever said that a little cash could not be made in paradise.
    How about a few sheckels for transporting literature across
    bodies of water?

    paradise

    Innovative new sports will be developed that do not have any
    ties to those bad pagan sports of the Old System. TM

    paradise

    Was your sweetheart annointed and went to heaven, leaving you
    behind alone in paradise? No problem! You can sneak up there for
    visits. Unfortunately, they will not have the equipment for making
    those visits conjugal, but you can still hug and kiss.

    paradise

    Amazing field service vehicles will be at your disposal.

    paradise

    Fleeing from demons and temptation will be easy with this rig.
    Should anyone go apostate and you are required to shun them,
    you can flee from them in great haste also.

    paradise

    Since no one bothered to get an education and learn how to
    distill fuels from petroleum, running your mower will require some
    ingenuity. Or maybe the sheep will get up from snuggling with
    lions and trim the grass, and this guy is really using this as a bong.

    paradise

    When the fuels run out from those refineries no one knows how
    to operate any more, this will be just the thing for getting around.

    paradise

    Oops! I slipped this in by mistake. It is the Old System TM being destroyed
    and is a reminder of what awaits you if you do not follow the direction
    of the Governing Body. See, it even has the little dog being in peril
    as seen in a lavishly illustrated Watchtower publication.

  • sizemik
    sizemik
    and this guy is really using this as a bong.

    ROFLMAO . . . great stuff.

  • Heartofaboy
    Heartofaboy

    Weren't shellfish one of the food resources banned for the Israelites?

    So..........

    No shrimp

    No lobster

    No clams

    No crab

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    Great pix, Kurtbethel, although now I feel bad I won't there.... I wanna be in the New System, as it looks so fun!! No one mentioning anything about jet packs!!

    Heart of a boy said:

    Weren't shellfish one of the food resources banned for the Israelites?

    So..........

    No shrimp

    No lobster

    No clams

    No crab

    Not feeling so bad about not being there now, if "surf and turf" is not going to be the menu....

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    Yeah, I like keeping my antenna up to get new light from the channel whenever the signal comes in. I posted that a year ago and saw it would fit here, especially as a treat for the newbies.

    You can also get a copy of Diary of an Armageddon Survivor ebook in Kindle format here:

    http://watchtowerkarma.webs.com/

  • talesin
    talesin

    But there will be seafood/fish. Or so said the PO of a congregation I was in one time. He was an avid fisherman and he had rationalized in his mind that even though it was always assumed we would be vegetarians, we would still eat fish, so he declared it so, from the platform no less.

    LMFAO!

    t

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