by tyydyy 17 Replies latest jw friends
This is not a goodbye. I was just wondering if it’s necessary to leave the board for some. I mean, after a period of time is it possible that some feel the need to quit posting so that they feel like a normal member of society. Not just an Ex JW. Can one ever feel like a normal person after being a JW? What is normal? Does this make sense to anyone?
TimB
I know what you mean. I'll probably stop posting after my family's totally out. Until then, I'll need people's help here. But, afterwards, it's just going to be beating a dead horse to participate actively.
I think if you feel like it's time to completely shut the door, do it.
ashi
I feel fairly normal(Not affected by JWs).
I just enjoy getting to know people from around the world with a common background.
TR- UADNA
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
--Robert Frost, 1935
I think for some this will just be a stopping off place on their way out. Others stay a bit longer not always for the directly JW related stuff but just because everyone has a pretty good understanding of the nuances of having been a JW and how it can affect you - you can never have too much support!
After 3 or 4 years out (or at least on the way) I don't really think of myself as a JW or exJW but I still have a lot of after-effects that have an impact on me and my family (other than this place).
Some people like making dramatic exits, others like to make a statement. I don't really understand it. If I got fed up with this board (and sometimes I do when flame wars are on)I just take few days away.
I no longer consider myself a JW even though never DF or DA. But my family is still very affected by it all.
Being a JW affects your life, deeply and forever. It heals but the scars will always remain. Sometimes things happen or are said and the old scars start to hurt again.
I guess one day I'll move on but I'll just reduce postings and eventually stop, dropping by now and again for a quick read.
I don't believe in goodbyes, only au revoirs.
This site for me is immediately interesting and relevant, because I've made many friends here and as has been said earlier, they have a common background. I know maybe 1 or 2 people who know me well enough to know about my Dub background, and there are lots here who do. Big difference!
That, and the discussion is often on diverse topics, not just all things Dub-related, so it keeps my interest locked quite rigidly at times!
The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age
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I don't believe in goodbyes, only au revoirs.
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Oh, I love au revoirs! I think my favorite has to be mushroom caps. I most definitely believe in au revoirs! Last time I went out I had the best buffalo wings! They served them with blue cheese, and .....what?.......uh.........
Never mind!
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I was just wondering if it’s necessary to leave the board for some. I mean, after a period of time is it possible that some feel the need to quit posting so that they feel like a normal member of society.
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Hi Tim,
Yes, I think it is necessary for some to leave, at least for awhile. It was needed for me. At one point I was finding myslef always irritated and angry. I was always pissed off and the stuff I was reading on these boards was only contributing to my anger. I needed to take a break. I had not yet learned to handle the type of exchanges that take place in this place. Maybe that's where some of the people are in their own lives and have decided to leave. I can understand that. But I hope they don't stop their growth and decide to stay away forever. At some point you need to learn how to live int he real world.
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Can one ever feel like a normal person after being a JW? What is normal?
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Sure. But, as you point out, what's normal? I came to realize that I was not that much different from any other person who was raised to believe something they no longer believe. The world is full of us. Are we normal? I suppose it depends on who you ask?
Sean
I think, personally, I feel like SYN. I like the conversations about everything. Not just the conversations concerned with exiting the JW's but I don't really feel much need for emotional support. Every so often I like to lean on the supportive shoulders of the sypathetic ones here. Knowing that makes this a wonderful place to spend the evenings.
TimB
Can one ever feel like a normal person after being a JW? What is normal?
I meant to come back here sooner, Tim, but I've been... uh... busy.
I think I know what you ask. I think. After reading this, you can elaborate and re-direct my thinking as to what you mean.
Despite how it may sometimes appear, I think I've adjusted very well to the post-JW phase of my life. However, one of the reasons that the movie A Beautiful Mind is so profound for me personally is that it suggests that the past can never really be forgotten – no matter what we do. The things we experienced, no matter how long ago, have made their marks on our psyches, our minds, our emotions, even *the way* we think.
Beyond that, other factors come into play:
how seriously we took it when we were there,
very close family members/friends who are still 'in.'
These and other factors all play a role on how well we recover, but I believe something I read on Randy's site long ago: An ex-JW will always be an ex-JW. Lot of truth in that.
