Real sad

claudia

This is copied and pasted from a Jw forum, its so sad. The topic is excluding relatives from your wedding. This guy wouldnt even let his own mom watch him cut the cake!

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Sadly, my mother has been df'd since I was around 7 yrs old. She lives in California and I, in Tennessee. She was invited to the wedding, which she came to. She then left the event and did not attend the reception. She thought I would fold on my stand and allow her to watch the cutting of the cake, the first dance.. maybe even the mother/son dance. But no way. This event was for my family.. my spiritual family came first. She didn't like it one bit but I stuck to my guns. I am glad I remained firm, but it still saddens me nonetheless.
Jason

[This message has been edited by JCBuckster (edited January 25, 2001).]

Simon

My brother in law who was Df'd a long time ago had a baby die at birth last year. They have just had another child and his sister and grandma don't even want to have a picture of him sent to them. They even rang to say not to send one. Have to be seen to be taking offense.
I think people like that are sad and pathetic.

RedhorseWoman

That is SO sad. But what's even sadder is contemplating how these people will feel as time marches inexorably on and people die and are lost forever, the New System has NOT arrived, and they are alone with thoughts of "what if?"

Prisca

That is so sad.... and then they go around saying that they don't break up families....

Scorpion

My mother was disfellowshipped in 1989 for apostacy. My older brother who is an elder was married a few years after my mother was dsd. My mother was not invited to the wedding as well as myself, my younger brother and my sister. My older brother has not actually spoken to my mother for 11 years now. My mother has never seen my older brothers kids.

Talk about sacrificing family for a lie.

Prisca

And yet the Society says that families CAN have SOME association!!!

This is where the cruel heart condition of individuals come out. The Society doesn't condemn families having limited association with members who are df'd. It does exclude spiritual association. So at least there is some latitude for families who want to associate with that family member. Yet because of previous hardline dictates of before, the R & f believe they cannot have anything to do with df'd family members. It is so sad!

There are 2 reasons for this :

1. The Society has a tradition of saying "yes" then "no", then "yes" then "well, maybe..." So for the normal Joe Publisher who hasn't got enough time to catch up with everything written in the endless supply of magazines & meetings, he may not realise that changes have happened.

2. The average r&f member learns to harden his heart to anyone who is a non-JW. Including his own family members. Once someone leaves the religion, the believing members shut them off, because in their minds they are dead meat in Jehovah's eyes. So they treat their own family in like manner. Very cruel, so very sad!

Angharad

Just to clear up, it was his Great grandma that won't see him, my mum couldn't be happier about the baby

thinkers wife

This is very sad. What a loss for the members who are still JW's.
RHW, I said almost those exact words the other day with regards to my parents. It helps us a little with where we are, but does nothing for them.
TW

JT

Prisca stated:

And yet the Society says that families CAN have SOME association!!!

******

the question that must be asked is DO THEY REALLY MEAN IT

the society has a long history of "Saying alot of stuff"

but what do they really mean

allow me to share with you how the Writing Dept puts matters out before the rank and file-

"IN PRINT" the society often times make lots of statements to show to outsiders that jw are Regular old folks- while in lots of Elders meeting with the CO and DO we are given an entirely different message

as one of my DO use to say- many times the Society can't come right out and say so and so -- so bro we have to be able to Preceive "which way is the Society LEANING"

I ALWAYS thought that was a cool way of saying something without saying anything-

i see most jw get upset with thier local elders or maybe the CO , but the avg jw never sees beyond them and for the boys in brooklyn and patterson that is just great

that is why in the last few yrs the Legal desk as instructed the Service dept to no put certain things on paper, but to have the elders write it down in thier own hand writing-

the society is protecting themselves yet it is leaving it's elders out to dry-

when i was in elder's school a number of us esp the former bethlites we picked up on that as soon as we didn't get anything in PRINT.

the wt has very carefully created a MINDSET among avg jw - SO WHILE THEY May say you can have limited contact

any jw who wants to be view as "MATURE" knows better
so for all practical purposes the wt gets what it wants without having to say anythng

while i agree with you 100% IN PRINT they say you can- but in the real world of JW life in congo after congo- it just don't happen that way as you stated
and the cool part is a THE SOCIETY KNOWS IT

WT has been called a cult by some- but i perfer the phrase "High Control Group"

where grown men and women feel an internal need to SEE WHAT THE SOCIETY OR ELDERS SAY on so many issues that NONJW would laugh at

when one shares these things like i do with NONJW they can't beleive it- in fact sometimes this total dependency of jw irritates the society as well but they perfer to have its members ck with them first rather than being independent thinkers

i showed a nonjw an article awhile back where the society stated

"some friends want to know if THIS MOVIE OR TOY IS OK"

one must ask the critical thinking question- how does this type of MINDSET COME ABOUT UNLESS IT IS FOSTERED

just like in many other companies esp- the car companies-for yrs it was unheard of for the man on the LINE to offer suggestion to the Executives upstairs- THEY AIN'T SMART ENOUGH till they realized that they were losing their shirts to the asian market

same with wt it is a well known fact that INFO ONLY COMES FROM THE EXECUTIVE OFFICES OF WT - and please don't be a sister

my wife hated the mindset we fostered about sisters being only good for selling books-

we had a bookstudy were a the reg reader didn't show up and there was a bro who had limited education and instead of getting one of the Educated siters to read he was selected- one sister had a PHD and another was a school teacher - yet they had to sit there while this poor MALE chopped up the KINGS ENGLISH all because they were women

so in the end no one really enjoyed the meeting-

at least the conductor could have read the material himself-

the DFing Tool is the WT most powerful tool and i dont' see them giving it up anytime soon- would you- if you were hoodwinking and bamboozling folks

smile

just my 2

JT

mommy

Hey everyone! What I find the hardest is the see-saw, my poor mom goes through, these must be her thoughts, "this week I will talk and laugh with you" "this week there was an article and I am feeling guilty about talking to you."
I remember how "they" ahieved this mind control so easily, and how many times I was duped into believing it myself:(
Funny though the witnesses don't really cherish the little things in life, this world being temporary and all. So maybe they use this to ease the burden to their hearts when family gets too close.
I don't know I just feel sorry for both parties in the situation:)
wendy

Real sad

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